D
Deleted member 12723
Hi, Eleanor, I think he has a cruel streak in him. My husband does this to me when he is in a episode. I do not think he means it, but I do think he thinks it will work. When I am in a episode, I mean what I say, and it is powerful and does it share of damage. Lucklily it does not happen anymore, because I figured out he says these things to stop me from doing what I want to do. I am learning not to rake it personally anymore.
After he calms down and apologized, he is usually supportive of me and what I want to do. We had quite the episode when I wanted to get a laptop and go back online. I calmly stood my ground. He was being so cruel and saying all kinds of cruel things, to stop me from doing what I wanted.
So I listened to him, and when he started yelling I layed a boundry down for him to stop doing that to me. I remained calm. It is scary to stand up to him when he is like that. He was sarcastic and told me to go ahead, and so I arranged it for me. I set up an appointment to get my laptop hooked up to wireless.
Later I come to find out he did not mean it he was only being sarcastic. It is lke being punched in the stomach the things he says.
After all was said and done, he at least felt listened to, he apologized to me and said I deserved to go back online. He was really supportive when I needed to buy a laptop. We got the best one we could get that was in our price range. He does not complain when I am online.
But it still pops up. He said I did it without consulting him. That is how he sees it. which I ignore. It was rough going through it. I had to journal about his cruel streak. I accept this about him now. Most of the time he is a very gentle and sensitive man. He sees a psychiatrist every 6 months now. With the dementia therapy for him is out of the question. The psychiatrist asks him questions that are really good and they address the dementia and how he feels about me doing everything for him. He is very attached to me now. He does not want to be alone by himself anymore, and with hime falling I have to go along withthat.
It involved money and he was worried about the extra expense. I was worried about my sanity. I knew I needed this very much. And it has helped.
I know this is off topic, but I thought if I shared it with you, it might give you some perspective. He has to learn that he can't do and say these things to you. You are alright. YOU are intelligent, caring, loving, and responsible.
In the case of your husband, he really has to commit to work on himself. He does not have dementia, like my husband does. Well I hope this gave you some perspective. Stand your ground, Do not be intimidated by your husband. He is being a big bully. And he will continue doing it until he has a reality check. If it means that you have to leave with yoour daughter every time he gets in an episode, so be it.
He needs boundries and limits. You are doing the very best you can with the knowledge you have. You are really dragging him behind you with you working so hard on yourself. I dragged my husband for years and he eventually came around. Hugs and prayers for you and your.
After he calms down and apologized, he is usually supportive of me and what I want to do. We had quite the episode when I wanted to get a laptop and go back online. I calmly stood my ground. He was being so cruel and saying all kinds of cruel things, to stop me from doing what I wanted.
So I listened to him, and when he started yelling I layed a boundry down for him to stop doing that to me. I remained calm. It is scary to stand up to him when he is like that. He was sarcastic and told me to go ahead, and so I arranged it for me. I set up an appointment to get my laptop hooked up to wireless.
Later I come to find out he did not mean it he was only being sarcastic. It is lke being punched in the stomach the things he says.
After all was said and done, he at least felt listened to, he apologized to me and said I deserved to go back online. He was really supportive when I needed to buy a laptop. We got the best one we could get that was in our price range. He does not complain when I am online.
But it still pops up. He said I did it without consulting him. That is how he sees it. which I ignore. It was rough going through it. I had to journal about his cruel streak. I accept this about him now. Most of the time he is a very gentle and sensitive man. He sees a psychiatrist every 6 months now. With the dementia therapy for him is out of the question. The psychiatrist asks him questions that are really good and they address the dementia and how he feels about me doing everything for him. He is very attached to me now. He does not want to be alone by himself anymore, and with hime falling I have to go along withthat.
It involved money and he was worried about the extra expense. I was worried about my sanity. I knew I needed this very much. And it has helped.
I know this is off topic, but I thought if I shared it with you, it might give you some perspective. He has to learn that he can't do and say these things to you. You are alright. YOU are intelligent, caring, loving, and responsible.
In the case of your husband, he really has to commit to work on himself. He does not have dementia, like my husband does. Well I hope this gave you some perspective. Stand your ground, Do not be intimidated by your husband. He is being a big bully. And he will continue doing it until he has a reality check. If it means that you have to leave with yoour daughter every time he gets in an episode, so be it.
He needs boundries and limits. You are doing the very best you can with the knowledge you have. You are really dragging him behind you with you working so hard on yourself. I dragged my husband for years and he eventually came around. Hugs and prayers for you and your.
