Relationship When Is It Time To Move On From An Online Relationship?

[JulianH]

I met a woman online through a dating website 6 months ago. We've been talking non-stop for 6 months and still haven't met each other. We're technically together, she's my girlfriend and I'm her boyfriend. We video chat often so I know she is who she says she is.

She was raped 5 years ago and has PTSD from it. I want to see her really badly and she says that she wants to be with me as well but because of her anxiety she can't. It's getting very hard on me not being able to be with my girlfriend. I love her and all I want is to actually be with her. She knows how I feel and feels awful that it's so hard for her to be with me. We've scheduled multiple times to meet and multiple different ways to meet, but nothing has worked. I've offered to bring my friends, for her to bring hers, different public places, my place, her place, EVERYTHING. And nothing has worked.

I really do love this woman, she has every quality that I've been looking for in a future wife and she feels the same about me. But I'm starting to get frustrated and starting to lose feelings for her. I don't talk to her as much or express my feelings as much to her. It's very hard to not be able to be with her. I've thought about leaving numerous times but I never do because I still love her and really want to be with her.

We don't talk about it much but I know she can tell that I'm pulling away from her and losing feelings. I've talked to a couple of her close friends (messaged them on Facebook) and they said she REALLY wants to be with me and is trying as hard as she can. Her closest girl friend also said that she is constantly upset that it's so hard for her to be with me and that I might leave her and be with someone else.

I love her and completely want to be with her but I feel like I'm wasting my time. She is worth waiting for but I'm starting to think no matter how long I wait I'll still never get to see her.

How do I know when it's time to move on?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

JulianH it sounds like you are getting ready to let go. I believe she is trying. Is she in therapy working on herself? Because if she was I would say there is hope. But if she is not, she is not working on herself. And could string you along for who knows how long.

I am sorry, but with ptsd she needs her space. It is very hard to be a supporter of someone with ptsd. It is not for sissies. It will tax you to the very limits. It requires incredible patience and love.

I can appreciate your love for her. But it sounds like you are getting tired of the status quo and you have a right to all of your feelings.

I wish you the best. Mabe a supporter will come along and say something that will help you out. You deserve the good stuff of life. It is not easy to support someone with ptsd. Can you tell her how you feel? Talk to her about your needs and desires? I sure hope so. It is worth a try. But like I said it sounds like you already feel strung along. Good luck.