We are so acutely in tune with the day to day routines and expectations. It's like a perfect pendulum that when one thing off sets it, the system explodes in chaos. I'll add that we don't hold any personal expectations because anytime we try, it never happens therefore it's no surprise.
Our point: our appts with our t went from in office to now telehealth. It triggers the feelings of covid and how one day things were the same to all of a sudden without warning everything changed. We were working with a part who has resisted to be spoken about let alone share things so the momentum was picking up. It was hard, uncomfortable and unchartered but being in the office helped and our t and I had a loose plan when it would happen. Then, everything got flipped upside down. Due to her schedule, she is now only available to meet through telehealth. In addition, our regular times of meeting has changed. Instead of meeting today at 2, we just found out it's at 3. It's confusing to keep track of time changes while being so frustrated we're not in the office. We cannot work with that part anymore because of several reasons one of them being safety.
We feel like we've gone backwards and frustrated knowing how long if at all it will take to get back to that. There was hope that by working with this part, it would help alleviate other parts burdens. It perpetuates the theme in our life feeling like we have no control over anything. We blame ourselves for being in this position because we've allowed it to happen. Despite that, it's a lot harder when there's a lot of different parts all having their own opinions and feelings. When confusion occurs that's when mistakes happen, missed meetings happen and the ability to feel any control goes away.
If you're someone who believes the work can still continue despite sitting in a car in a parking lot alone, I disagree. We don't know how long it will be until we are able to have in person sessions but we do know when that time comes it will be met with anxiety around uncertainty if suddenly things will change again. Sadly, we are creatures of routine. Not because we want to but our brain is programmed this way despite efforts to change. We're very depressed right now as well as a few parts that are out. Work isn't going well and home isn't a place to relax. We're very lonely and trying to make sense of the world we live in.
Our point: our appts with our t went from in office to now telehealth. It triggers the feelings of covid and how one day things were the same to all of a sudden without warning everything changed. We were working with a part who has resisted to be spoken about let alone share things so the momentum was picking up. It was hard, uncomfortable and unchartered but being in the office helped and our t and I had a loose plan when it would happen. Then, everything got flipped upside down. Due to her schedule, she is now only available to meet through telehealth. In addition, our regular times of meeting has changed. Instead of meeting today at 2, we just found out it's at 3. It's confusing to keep track of time changes while being so frustrated we're not in the office. We cannot work with that part anymore because of several reasons one of them being safety.
We feel like we've gone backwards and frustrated knowing how long if at all it will take to get back to that. There was hope that by working with this part, it would help alleviate other parts burdens. It perpetuates the theme in our life feeling like we have no control over anything. We blame ourselves for being in this position because we've allowed it to happen. Despite that, it's a lot harder when there's a lot of different parts all having their own opinions and feelings. When confusion occurs that's when mistakes happen, missed meetings happen and the ability to feel any control goes away.
If you're someone who believes the work can still continue despite sitting in a car in a parking lot alone, I disagree. We don't know how long it will be until we are able to have in person sessions but we do know when that time comes it will be met with anxiety around uncertainty if suddenly things will change again. Sadly, we are creatures of routine. Not because we want to but our brain is programmed this way despite efforts to change. We're very depressed right now as well as a few parts that are out. Work isn't going well and home isn't a place to relax. We're very lonely and trying to make sense of the world we live in.
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