When To Consider Hospitalization?

[Deleted member 31203]

I'm going through an extremely rough patch in my life that is not only stirring up memories, but causing additional trauma. I've been more fragile than I've ever been in my life. Ever. (For more on that read my intro post from earlier today, if you'd like or are interested).

I have a great therapist. I have a great psychiatrist for the occasional time I need meds. Right now I am going to therapy weekly and taking an anxiety med. But my life is crumbling (or so it feels). Losing weight, losing sleep, sever intestinal pain related to stress, acne relayed to stress, and lately I've been feeling suicidal and depersonalizing and/or disociating on a daily basis. Last week I hit my head against st a wall so much that I have a goose egg.

I try to take care of myself but in the course of a month I've lost my ability to be in school (I'm a senior in college) and work (had to leave my on-campus job). I am not giving up hope, but my current therapy/meds/coping skills aren't enough and I'm afraid I'll end up becoming extremely suicidal before I figure out something that works.

Has anyone here been hospitalized or admitted themselves to hosptial?

Nor sire if this matters, but my boyfriend actually works at this mental health hospital and I really do worry about how painful it might be for both of us for me to be in there while he works...

Any advice appreciated.

 

[sun seeker]

Hi Carmen,

I am sure others will answer in more detail, but I wanted you to know someone read your post, and cares. My advice on reading your list of symptoms is to advise you to consider hospitalization sooner rather than later. I do hear your concerns about your boyfriend working there and that does sound uncomfortable. Not sure what to advise on that one. I just want to say I hear how much you are suffering and not to take any of it lightly. Better safe than sorry, you know?

 

[Friday]

Since forewarned is forearmed, & there are often wait-lists & insurance hoops to jump though... How about start researching inpatient & partial-hospitalization (day programs) treatment in the interim? Look for good trauma programs / talk with your therapist about it?

 

[Deleted member 31203]

I'm honeatly reaching a point where I feel I need constant supervision. Every minute alone I am at risk of being suicidal, self harming, or depersonalizing.

 

[Deleted member 31203]

Also, thank you both for your replies.

 

[sun seeker]

I'm honeatly reaching a point where I feel I need constant supervision.

I think you have your answer right there. Please start researching, or if you can't, ask your boyfriend to do it for you.

I don't want to go into detail, but the last time I felt something like this, I didn't act on it and get help fast enough, and it was bad. I didn't attempt suicide, but it was bad.

 

[sun seeker]

Please start researching, or if you can't, ask your boyfriend to do it for you.

Or heck, if it's that bad don't research. Just go to the ER.

 

[hodge]

Agreed. If you're feeling you need constant supervision, you need hospitalization. There's nothing wrong with that. Yes, it could be a bit weird with your boyfriend working there, but if that's the only place available to you, I think you should go. Asap. Take care!!

 

[Megflower]

Hi Carmen23
I read your other post also, I am so sorry this is happening. Clearly none of this is your fault and the adults in your life have acted very poorly I often wonder if the mothers do just as much if not more damage by being enablers and keeping the abuse a secret.

I can somewhat sought of relate to your situation, I had an abusive stepfather, my mother knew and I ran away from home leaving my younger sister. Guilty ........yep I feel that all the time

But in regards to your current situation, what does your partner think about you being hospitalised???
I know at times I have felt I couldn't go on, but then there is that one little thing that gives me a reprieve for you that may be the comfort of not being alone right now to ensure your safety.
Please call someone at least reach out and let someone know your really not okay right now, even if it's just sitting with you. You don't even need to tell them why.
Look after yourself

 

[sun seeker]

Please call someone at least reach out and let someone know your really not okay right now, even if it's just sitting with you. You don't even need to tell them why.

I'd agree if it were not yet this bad, but if you are having suicidal feelings and feeling you can't be alone, you do need to tell somebody. I say this because you need to have a plan for what to do when those people who come to sit with you need to go home, as they eventually will. If they haven't guessed how bad it is and taken the necessary action to get you help, the time will come when they will need to leave. If you really can't be alone, you need to have all your bases covered and go to the hospital ASAP.

 

[xraydave]

I'm going through an extremely rough patch in my life that is not only stirring up memories, but causi...

If I worked in a hospital and I knew that my girlfriend was suffering from PTSD, I would not be judgmental at all if you were to admit yourself. a lot of rational people do it. i think it's more of an embarrassing problem when you need psychiatric case upon a court order or something like that. in other words, other people committing you to hospital, rather than making a firm decision yourself.

So, thinking about it, means you have considered a list of options which are vital to your progress as an individual, and you are now contemplating making a rational move for your further progress in school and in life.

here, there is a university kid who feels just like you do man, he believes his life is crumbling around him and he is hitting his head against a wall and he is depersonalized and dissociating on a daily basis. but maybe my life is crumbling in a different way, and yours is crumbling in a different way to mine.

i'm at uni, and just last semester i wish i had withdrawn due to my illness. i failed a whole lot of units, a whole semester. ! of units. but i'm still in university. and i don't see any good in what i did - which was not accepting and communicating it to anyone. :/ and just f*cking up everything while pretending i was alright. at least you accepted what you're going through, by withdrawing from uni. you are being a rational person.

 

[joeylittle]

@Carmen23, you might benefit more from going immediately to a full time (inpatient) intensive PTSD therapy treatment center. General mental health floors in hospitals will definitely keep you safe - but you won't make specific therapeutic process.

Above all else, stay safe. But if you can, talk with both your therapist and psychiatrist ASAP about PTSD - specific inpatient programs.