Relationship Why Am I So Depressed?

[Crazyme]

My cPTSD SO is finally doing well. He was diagnosed 10 months ago, received very little support - we were told just take a pill and it will get better in 2 to 3 years. He immediately got much better with rage and anger issues. Most notably, he stopped screaming at me so frequently.

I thought everything was getting much better until 2 months ago when rage started breaking through again and odd behaviors -- refusal to work and excessive spending. He went to his therapist, who I believe is really really good,but then I started having issues.

Now we are both seeing his therapist together. I am learning a lot about this thing that he lives with and he seems to be functioning very well for the last 4 weeks. Unfortunately, I am so overwhelmed and depressed that I am barely functioning. I just started with my own therapist and with my own medication. Still I cry every day, sometimes several times. But I guess I'm so afraid that it will never be gone and I just don't think I can handle it coming back again. Intellectually, I know I am being ridiculous and expecting the impossible, but emotionally, I can't help it. I don't know what to do.

 

[Gadgie]

I wish I knew the answer to your question, because if I did I would use it myself, to stop me getting them 'dark days" as I call them?

Anything that would stop the "dark days" would be a life saver for me, as when I do have them, my whole life changes, and the most frustrating point about it is, I can't do anything to stop it from happening!

 

[TheMinsterman]

Perhaps now you're finally coming down from the high alert all guns ready at the battlestation mode we often get into and it's just been too much and you are very burned out?

 

[Crazyme]

Perhaps now you're finally coming down from the high alert all guns ready at the battlestation mo...

Wow! I hadn't thought of that, but I think you're absolutely right.

 

[A13]

Agree with @TheMinsterman
I had this exact feeling for a while. I was beginning to seriously worry about my own mental stability. I felt very down and lonely, even if I was surrounded by people.
could cry at a sad song on the radio or something as little as the soaps on TV.
I had been very emotional. The last week or two I had made a very conscious effort to work on me, I'm back to Al-anon, taking some time for me .. I've even been to Pilates and meditation ..
With me calming down, I feel my vet relaxing.

I think I was so wound up with the stress of everything for such a long time, trying to spin too many plates... I forgot to sit down and just breath and look after me for a minute. And my vet may well have been feeding off this.
Invest some time into you.. it may well help.
My days feel much happier since I've made even the smallest of changes for me!! .. and quickly too!!

Feel better soon:)