- Post starter
- #13
@KwanYingirl Yes, exactly. And right now I am finding myself in a state where I know that change is coming for me but it might take months to unfold. And yet, I feel so anxious about it now, like I really need to know now what will happen, will it be alright etc...
There's a part of me that senses the change coming, that is aware of the changes in how I think and feel about the job I have right now. And there is a part of me that just wants the transition to be over, like I can't stand the anticipation.
And just plain old change, takes such getting used to. Not as bad as a few years ago but it's still there.
And, just the untangling of this situation. So much to think through because I can't trust that what I feel is reality. Then to work against the feelings and behave in the reality of it, not how I feel about it.
Right now my boss's wife if being really nice to me and I keep feeling like that's creepy. I am becoming aware of how uncomfortable (I go on high alert when she is around) I feel when she is around and then contrast that with how pleasant she is when she makes chit chat with me. She told me a personal story today of how she was upset with a situation caring for her aging father. I couldn't help feeling that she was taking the chance to share it with me because she was trying to bind me to her, make our relationship deeper somehow.
One of the reasons I like my job is that I've been there long enough now to know what's going on. The thought of having to learn all over again makes me feel tired!
There's a part of me that senses the change coming, that is aware of the changes in how I think and feel about the job I have right now. And there is a part of me that just wants the transition to be over, like I can't stand the anticipation.
And just plain old change, takes such getting used to. Not as bad as a few years ago but it's still there.
And, just the untangling of this situation. So much to think through because I can't trust that what I feel is reality. Then to work against the feelings and behave in the reality of it, not how I feel about it.
Right now my boss's wife if being really nice to me and I keep feeling like that's creepy. I am becoming aware of how uncomfortable (I go on high alert when she is around) I feel when she is around and then contrast that with how pleasant she is when she makes chit chat with me. She told me a personal story today of how she was upset with a situation caring for her aging father. I couldn't help feeling that she was taking the chance to share it with me because she was trying to bind me to her, make our relationship deeper somehow.
One of the reasons I like my job is that I've been there long enough now to know what's going on. The thought of having to learn all over again makes me feel tired!
