Why Didn't I Say No? Need To Share.

[Justmehere]

Thank you everyone. All options to hold people accountable are being considered. Everyone - including his employer and the multiple state agencies who licensed him and hired him to provide medical transportation... It appears they failed to do a background check on the name he used on his contract with them and they accepted a background check that he had done under a different name.

He has a law degree but no license to practice law and appears he has charmed the hell out of everyone.

He did loose job and is now texting and calling me. They told him it was due to his lack of insurance. Not that they know he is a convicted felon or because he was pervy with me - so that he wouldn't know they are investigating him further. His parole officer told me to not to respond or tell him to leave me alone. This is undoing me.

I started to feel safe again last night, and he texted me this morning. No direct threats, he just wants to know how I'm doing and if I got to the doctor ok today and etc. I've been told by police they can't do anything until their investigation is complete. I'm a mess. All these people put me and others in danger and I don't trust a single one of them or their advice or instructions.

I can't seem to think about anything other than him today. I want answers as to how this could happen. I want to feel safe at home again. I want someone to do something pronto... Ugh. This is awful.

I want to feel safe again. I've called civil attornies and they all freak out but refer me to someone else as this is a weird part of law I guess.

I want to feel safe again. I want him to go away and leave me alone and all these other people to lose their freaking jobs for putting me through this.

 

[Neverthesame]

Hang in there as best you can. I agree it is probably best not to communicate with him in any way, not that I would imagine you'd even want to.

I am not very familiar with your situation, but is there anywhere else, or anyone who you can stay with for a little while? At least untill you can feel comfortable in your own skin again? I apologize if that is an absurd question.

 

[Larksong]

@Justmehere This is so terrible to hear now, after all you've been through. I feel so bad that after you moved out of your comfort zone and stood up for yourself and others, you continue to have this intrude into your life. I can't even imagine how stressful this must be.

What about taking out a restraining order? Maybe I'm wrong, but I've always had the impression from a friend who's worked in crisis counseling that a restraining order is relatively straightforward and inexpensive to get. It seems like it's worth asking the police about. If you had one that ordered him not to contact you in any way, and he violated it, I'm guessing they could then take more concrete steps against him? It might be worth exploring.

Anyway, I'm sending many kind and supportive thoughts your way, and hope you'll feel at least somehow lifted up on all the good wishes coming to you from all of us here!

 

[Friday]

I can't seem to think about anything other than him today. I want answers as to how this could happen. I want to feel safe at home again. I want someone to do something pronto... Ugh. This is awful.

I want to feel safe again. I've called civil attornies and they all freak out but refer me to someone else as this is a weird part of law I guess.

I want to feel safe again. I want him to go away and leave me alone and all these other people to lose their freaking jobs for putting me through this.

I've had a stalker for the past 3 years. It's my ex, and he's wealthy, and we share a child, so it's complicated legally.

The single most liberating things I did were to spend $25 & relocate temporarily.

$25 = $10 prepaid cell phone & $15 air time card. Loaded the numbers I wanted to have access to at all times, shut my real phone off, and put it in a drawer. This allows you to allow police access to the texts should they become threatening, without having to deal with him calling/texting/tracking.

Relocating is more complicated for most people. For me, I had originally intended to sublet my place out, but I have issues (shhhh ;) ) so didn't end up doing that. But I'm more at home on the road than in my house, anyway. It may be something you could consider (sublet, or short term rental). Better, since this is their fault, is if you could have your therapist -or someone else you trust, victims advocate, an attorney- run point on this to get you somewhere safe on their dime, until their investigation is completed. A hotel. A safe house. Their repeated errors have placed you at risk. Ideally, they should sort things for you in the meantime. Life is rarely ideal, so you may need to take action yourself.

 

[Justmehere]

I have now been informed that they failed to do a background check on the vast majority of drivers. Including the drivers they sent to my home before this guy.

I've been told that they plan to change this, sometime in the future.

I just started crying and screaming at them on the phone.

The murderer's parole officer told me to not tell him to stop contacting me - "because this may set him off and ruin our investigation as well."

Panic attack ensued and I was taken to the ER and then moved into a safe house. The Safehouse legal advocate says I have to tell him to leave me alone before I can't get a restraining order. After the parole officer told me this would set him off, I can't find the courage to do that.

I have left a message for one of my elected representatives and the news media about the matter that they have not been doing background checks on the vast majority of drivers they use to drive the sickest of the sick in the state.

The company and the state have offered to pay the costs to change my cell phone number and are considering paying for moving costs because an unknown possible number of frlons have my home address and know I'm especially vulnerable.

It also appears they won't be arresting this guy. I don't know or care why...

Oh, and they want to send a new driver but can not give any assurances they have even done a background check on him. I told them to go to hell. Not thebest response, but they are crazy if they think I will use their service again.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think its time for you to turn around and give these @ssholes the middle finger. You can't get a restraining order because they don't want their investigation being messed up, NEVERMIND the fact that he won't get in trouble for anything he's done to you?!?!? W.....T.....F!?!??!!?

I wish I could give you the biggest hug right now. Well, if you accept hugs that is.

None.....and I do mean NONE of these people are concerned about you or your safety. They didn't care before (as evidenced by not doing background checks), and they don't care now (as evidenced by them saying they plan to change the background check thing "sometime in the future"). NONE of these people know what its like to have PTSD, let alone PTSD that is being triggered into complete overdrive. Instead of being concerned about your safety, they are concerned about their $&#$^&#& investigation?!?!

True, a restraining order might set him off, but at the same time this is a step you can take where you are stepping up for yourself and saying "I am putting ME first because *I* am more important than this arsehole creep". And I ask you, exactly how long is it going to take them to complete their investigation? Uh huh, I thought so. So how long do you have to wait before you can tell this guy to eff off? A month? Six months? A year? MORE?!?! The prosecutors/law/etc TOTALLY messed up before, so I'm not sure that I'd have any confidence in them ever putting this case together.

Sorry I am fired up about this one, but it really gets my goat that they aren't protecting you like they should be.

Please do whatever you feel the need to do in order to keep yourself safe. If that means that you want the restraining order, don't let some bully prosecutor/parole officer/whomever tell you not to get one (or take the steps to get one) because it will jeopardize their case.

Oh, and one more thing....

Do you realize how INCREDIBLY strong you are? Yes, you are an incredibly strong person. Please remember this.

 

[anthony]

I have to say @Justmehere that considering what has happened, and the severity of this matter, you seem to be holding it together ok. Yelling at some of those people... to be honest... they deserve much worse, like you say, to not even have their jobs as they failed to do them in the severest manner.