Why Do People Need Therapy?

[gdf]

Is Therapy Worth It?

Hi Kris,

I can hear you when you say therapy makes you feel crappy and is it worth it, why talk about what happened, etc. I just came from a hard therapy session tonight with a "new" therapist. I decided to talk after 45 years of slience. Problem? As a kid I was traumatized in a medical setting. It didn't bother me until the 90's when I started having physical problems and was faced with numerous medical tests, all things which triggered my ptsd symptoms.

As I get older I realize that my avoidance of tests, doctors and hospitals is going to kill me one day--I'll simply be too scared to have an MRI or a CAT scan or something more serious and I'll let cancer eat my insides until it's too late or some equally sick fate and I will die. Over the years I've realized I can't just treat the panic symptoms--I had to make sense of the root cause which was being brutalized and attacked in ways I still can't bring myself to say in public. Will I ever talk about it like some do in the forum? Don't know if I will ever be that brave. The story is developing.

Like someone said eariler, it's like cleaning out a wound in order to let it heal. I think doing therapy is a decision you have to make on your own in your own timing. When you are ready, you'll know. The trick is to survive in the meantime. Something may be a motivator for you. and one day you may want to talk. Be aware and alert to your own moods, feelings and listen to your body. It will tell you when and where but be careful not to shut down if/when it says it's time to speak.

I envy your family support--many of us lack that in our journeys. Wherever this path leads you, may you feel loved and reassured that you are doing the right things but be open to all the tools you may find along the path.

When you do decide to talk and don't have someone available to help who is trained it's painful to have to wait for help.You might want to establish a relationship and get to know a therapist you can feel comfortable with so that if/when you need them you don't have to start from scratch.

Gina

 

[kris]

Why would you want to think about your trauma and talk about it, it is a horrific event for me that lasted for 6 years to be sexually abused by my older brother, and now he is dead so I am also dealing with those issues as well. Why would I want to talk to people about the fact he made me give him BJ's or would make me kiss him and all kinds of other sick stuff, and threatened me if I ever told. I have worked all these years to block the trauma out of my mind, because otherwise I wouldn't have made it this far in life if I hadn't, do you know what its like to be 9 years old and want to kill yourself? Maybe some people do, but if this site is suppose to be helpful some people are not being very supportive.
Also I didn't say I dont want to go to therapy I just am having trouble bringing myself to do it, because nobody I know has ever went to therapy and I just don't know that it would work. As well as the fact I am very fearful of different things, and get very nervous when I have to go to the doctor and dont want to have that awful feeling every week or every 2 weeks when I would have to go to the psychologist.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Well, attacking me for your trauma and the fact that you can't deal with it, isn't going to solve your issues one bit. You can call me a bitch, or whatever other name that you'd like too. I personally don't care......

The point that I am trying to make is this.......You can't keep holding all of this shit inside.....You really do need to get it out.

I was also molested and raped by BOTH of my brothers, and gang raped at 16, I have been beaten, have had emotional and verbal abuse for years also.....I have tried to commit suicide 8 times in my life, so don't tell me that I don't know how you feel, or what you have been going through........I KNOW, all too well......

So, do you want to talk about this, or just attack??????

 

[kers]

As well as the fact I am very fearful of different things, and get very nervous when I have to go to the doctor and dont want to have that awful feeling every week or every 2 weeks when I would have to go to the psychologist.

I really understand this. I still get queasy and jittery before my appointments. At this point, what I gain from therapy far outweighs having to deal with that nervousness.

You will know when it is time to seek therapy, because the idea of it will not seem as awful as living with your trauma alone. It's not an easy thing to do, by any means, but when you are ready, you'll do it.

Anais Nin famously wrote:

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

 

[Mina]

Kris, it is absolutely NOT okay for you to verbally attack another member on this site. EVER. She-Cat makes some extremely valid points. I'm sorry that it hurts you to read them and think about working through your trauma, but your pain does NOT justify lashing out at her like that. And yes, she does know what it's like.

if this site is suppose to be helpful some people are not being very supportive.

You're right - people here are not supporting you in turning a blind eye to your trauma. And they're not going to. That's not at all what this site is about. We are here to educate each other and help one another heal, and sometimes that's a really difficult and painful process. Most of us didn't or don't want to go to therapy and I don't think any of us actually likes talking about our traumas. It hurts and it's hard, but we do it because working through our trauma is key to recovery. It is the way to stop running and living our lives as shells of the people we were meant to be.

 

[cat]

For me therapy has been a life line.

I had my first appointment with my psychologist 10mths ago, at that time my ptsd was completely ruling my life, I was anxious, depressed (but denying it) i'd been off work for a year & life just didn't seem worth living. All my Gp had to offer was a long waiting list for therapy & meds to relieve my symptoms but the thought just terified me, so I decided to find a private therapist & I have absolutely no regrets.

Therapy is very tough work but when you consider what we have been through to arrive at this place then it comes as no surprise. At first I thought id never stick at it as it took me way outside me comfort zone, I come from a family who never talk about their feelings or worries. Yes, it does make traumatic memories more painful at first & at times I have been very angry with her, but, over time I have learnt the benefits of doing this. Living in fear of our trauma means we lose sight of rational thoughts & focus on the negative ones, therapy teaches you to change your thinking style to a more positive one. For instance, during therapy it has become apparent that I also have anxious attachment disorder something I wouldn't have found out about without my recent trauma, I can now acknowledge something I have wondered about for years without feeling embarrassed about asking for help with it.

My psychologist has enabled me to talk openly about my trauma without the panic & fear I had, talking about my feelings is another matter & slowly she is teaching me to recognise them & the vocabulary I need to express them.

Do try to give therapy another go Kris, take it one very small step at a time & remember that you survived your trauma once so you can do it again but this time you have support to get you through it & to understand it.

take care

 

[PerfectEmpire]

so what good does it do to talk about being molested (in my case) if it brings out all these negative thoughts and emotions.

You need to purge your mind of your traumas by talking about them. Once a trauma is out in the open (between you and your therapist, at least) it will become a matter of fact and easier to talk about with every session. Once purged and talked about regularly, eventually even the most extreme of traumas can seem trivial to the sufferer. Talking about it regularly makes it seem less like a big deal and more like a simple fact - like the sky is blue. "The sky is blue and I was molested." It becomes just a thing and not a grand trauma that controls all of life on earth! This change in perception only comes with lots and lots of discussion of the trauma. It's like talking about something until you are resolved, tired of it, and just plain over it, and it's no longer such a big deal that it controls your everyday life.

That is how therapy has helped me. Over time my traumas have felt less and less traumatic. Therapy makes trauma less traumatic and more acceptable.

 

[cat]

I fully agree with you PerfectEmpire, talk, talk and more talk, its the only way.

Cat

 

[wattle]

Kris it takes time to build a rapport with a therapist, the therapist you went to more than likely would not of expected you to be open about what happened to you on your first visit. No one could be expected to trust that much on the first vist.

You need to give it time and build some of that trust before you need to talk about what happened to you. When the time is right you may want to talk about it.

Having a good supportive family is great but some of the things you may want to talk about are going to be difficult if not impossible to talk about with a trusted friend or family, especially given the person that assulted you is family also even if he has passed away.