Why Do People Want To Wear Ptsd As A Merit Badge?

[Trying2mvefwd]

I was raped at 6, molested every night for about 10 years straight, raped at 12, 15, (by the animal i called dad)...then at 22, and then again in a hostile domestically violent relationship.I was physically abused, witnessed my Moms domestic violence, and many more incedinces throughout my life, you may dog me...but I learned it was normal, I learned to freeze and dissociation became a way of life, its how i actually lived, still do...starting just now to lealearn whats normal or safe, starting to learn what living is, starting to catch myself when i dissociate. It's so much easier to say I was abused as a kid, was in domestically violent relationship and even easier to say I have PTSD. So many things trigger flashbacks. I hate that I was hurt that bad, but being this blunt and vulnerable is extremely difficult. I think we who have PTSD for real often speak on the surface and have such a hard time with trust, and processing that we can't be this real even on here...so instead of judging we should show compassion, we've no idea what lays under the surface.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

so instead of judging we should show compassion, we've no idea what lays under the surface.

Im not judging and this is off topic as you have criteria a trauma.

Please keep this on topic. I explained what the topic was clearly. Thank you.

 

[Sideways]

I entirely understand the "just show compassion" approach. But there's no "should" prefixing that statement for me.

If I'm confronted by someone in this forum who, by their own account, doesn't have ptsd and has not suffered a crit A trauma - I switch channels. I don't feel obligated to show anyone compassion, especially not someone who falls outside the scope of the purpose of this forum - compassion is something I choose to do. And in a forum specifically for people suffering from, or supporting someone with, ptsd - there is no obligation to show interest, let alone compassion to the world at large here (imho).

I don't mean that to sound harsh. But I have ptsd. I come here for support with that. I honestly don't come here to express my compassion to the world at large for all of the suffering of each individual on the planet. That would be just plain exhausting!

 

[joeylittle]

Its ok that you didnt lock it, was just a request.

Yes. I know it's OK. Anywhere in here, did I say that you did something wrong?

We don't tend to lock threads unless they've gone radically off course. There may be responses on this thread that you disagree with, @lostforgottensoul - but there's nothing to warrant locking it.

This is what this thread has been about:

What I dont understand, however, 1) why is it the first thing people go to for everyrhing (maybe thats because of it being highly known), and 2) why is it argued when so clearly explained, several times by several people? If i heard what I was experiencing wasnt PTSD but maybe all these dozen stress disorders, advised that all last a short or simi-short time but PTSD was lifelong, Id be damned relieved to have all of these 'possibities' with the stress disorder and would not want PTSD (and in reality didnt) as its a life sentense.

That's a clear set of questions and thoughts.

You cannot control every response you are given. You cannot re-write the mental state you were in when you first posted; nor do you need to. You got what you needed from the thread - you can walk away from it.

This thread is about undiagnosed people, who have not experienced a Criteria A event insisting they have ptsd for what appear to be ulterior motives. Please stay on topic. Discussion of people who have diagnosed ptsd, or have suffered a criteria A trauma is off topic.

We do allow members to request that their threads stay on topic - but this is not how it works.

Im correcting those that are stating incorrect information. This was never about people with PTSD or trauma with possible PTSD wearing it as a merit badge...it was those people going through life stressors screaming PTSD.

Im not judging

Yes, you are. You are seeing that people are having responses, you are assuming that all those responses are directed at you, you are taking the stance that people who are responding are 'incorrect' - and you are telling them to stop talking.

If I were you, I'd think about what judging is, and instead of defending how you never do it (you've said that before), examine where in your life you might be judging, and decide whether or not you are OK with it, or whether you'd like to shift your own behavior.

The real problem with judging: it's nothing to do with the other person - it's something that creates aggravation in ourselves.

Your father claiming PTSD was deeply upsetting to you, because you believe him to be wrong, and a liar.

Those beliefs (thoughts) create feelings, and usually pretty bad ones - frustration, helplessness, voicelessness.

But, what if it didn't matter to you, whether he was lying or telling the truth? What if that was simply him making his own life decisions - and while you disagree with them, and they run counter to your personal moral code - you cannot do anything to affect his actions, and so, you let go of the judgement? You accept that he's doing what he chooses to do - you personally disagree, but aren't going to feel frustrated by it, anymore?

You'd feel better, right?

The opposite of judgement is acceptance. Acceptance doesn't mean that one agrees with, or condones, or is even OK with - it just means that you are able to acknowledge it as a thing that is.

Acceptance is tough - really tough. It takes a lot of practice. I'm definitely not an expert in it, by any means. I do know that the better I get at it, the less I suffer.

If I'm confronted by someone in this forum who, by their own account, doesn't have ptsd and has not suffered a crit A trauma - I switch channels. I don't feel obligated to show anyone compassion, especially not someone who falls outside the scope of the purpose of this forum - compassion is something I choose to do. And in a forum specifically for people suffering from, or supporting someone with, ptsd - there is no obligation to show interest, let alone compassion to the world at large here (imho).

This isn't harsh - this is smart. And it goes back to whether or not to judge, or accept. I'd say, that by doing this, you are accepting that there are people here you aren't going to agree with, be interested in, listen to, give a shit about. And you aren't judging yourself as being bad for doing so, nor are you judging them for being wrong in their presence here.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

You are seeing that people are having responses, you are assuming that all those responses are directed at you,

and you are telling them to stop talking.

No im not. Talk all you want in my threads. I quoted a thread "does being cheated on cause PTSD?" And i felt that everyone that has any sort of upset in any way was screaming PTSD. I did admit that she had a past trauma and could have PTSD but not from being cheated on. Ive found several threads that quote some life stress and asking if it causes PTSD that isnt trauma. Ive found it on other forms, ive found it on youtube and other places on the internet and my question (whether i wrote it the correct or most accurate way or not) was why does people that have any life stressor with no back trauma scream PTSD? That was the main issue and upset and yes my dad is a big reason for that but i believe i would be annoyed about it my dad or not; just not to the point of making a thread.

And call that judgement, I honestly dont care. But the guest that ran off a ton of trauma and then say im judging that is wrong; I am not and do not judge trauma.

This is why i advised to close the thread, because people started to name off trauma and saying they dont wear it as a merit badge and i never said people with PTSD or trauma undiagnosed PTSD do.

I want to know why someone who admits to having zero trauma in their life but goes through some life stressor screams PTSD and wants to wear it loke some merit badge. Its all over the damn internet.

I'll just stop follow this thread and that will solve it all, everyone can talk to themselves.

 

[ghotiff]

Deleted.