Relationship Why Do They Lie And Nit Pick?

[Jons99]

Ok, I just saw your intro post and saw she is indeed a teacher. I informed my husband of this and he is...

First off, different districts that are about 30 minutes apart..So the kid in her house isn't even from the same town or district if that matters.. And it was 7 months ago and it's never been brought up

And if this is why it mattered so much, she never mentioned it.. Was all about having someone at her house..but it's also an angle I never thought about..

As far as a lawyer, if that's the case or staff has waaaaay bigger problems...lol.. We have film sessions, cookouts etc with the kids over at our house during the season..

 

[Fadeaway]

My husbands says that is normal and accepted for coaches, but never ever for a female teacher, or any non coach teacher. Being a coach is different than being a teacher.

 

[Sweetpea76]

@Jons99, Regardless of any other issue, I don't think you're understanding her "safety zone."

To a lot of PTSD sufferers, personal space and feeling secure is their first priority. These people have had traumas where they were in physical danger or threat of death, so controlling their environment or having a safe space can be a coping mechanism to help them feel safer.

Bringing a stranger into the safe zone makes it not safe anymore. Period. It doesn't matter if it makes no sense to you, it makes sense to her.

My vet can hit the roof if the FedEx guy surprises him when he isn't expected. Even if you live with a sufferer who has these issues, you can't bring people over if it stresses them out... It may be your house too, but it's a major source of distress that isn't worth it.

 

[Casey_03]

I honestly have to say I feel bad for this girl, because we are all sitting here talking about her as if she has PTSD and there is actually no indication of that whatsoever. The poster himself admitted he was diagnosing her with that based off of casual conversation with a friend. If we caution posters against self-diagnosing, why do we so easily let new supporters come on here and diagnose their exes with PTSD for no apparent reason other than PTSD is an easy scapegoat for being rejected? I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but there seems to be a pattern of people coming on and posting, speculating that someone who broke up with them has PTSD (because of course if they were rejected, there must be a mental illness involved!), and then because this is a PTSD forum, people offer feedback assuming the person does in fact have PTSD, it spirals out of control and before you know it, a person who has no signs of PTSD suddenly becomes a PTSD sufferer and her entire situation is misrepresented. It's not healthy for anyone to diagnose others or self-diagnose, and in the case of you, @Jons99 no offense but I think you need to scrap this notion you have that your ex has PTSD, unless you are aware of some major trauma in her life that you have not mentioned. I think many will agree with me that anxiety and trust issues do not mean PTSD; in fact, they don't necessarily mean mental illness of any kind. Anxiety and trust issues in and of themselves are not a disorder. Neither is low-self esteem after being in a crappy relationship. By trying to project PTSD onto this girl, you are essentially invalidating her feelings and ignoring her wishes, implying that it is simply not possible that she thought you guys just weren't the right fit. Sometimes people just don't want to be in a relationship ... or they get into one only to realize it doesn't feel right. There are myriad reasons for why she may have wanted space. But misrepresenting it all as PTSD is flat out rude and ignorant, sorry.