Why Do We Keep Coming Back?

[pandora]

Leaving the Forum - Needing the Forum

I have been thinking a lot aboout some of the thiings going on here latley. I guess we all are working at our own self care pace.

I still feel like I need the forum. I also know that due to isolation....I have used the forum alot.

I want to get back to life but as a single Mom with an injury that keeps me home a lothis friends here (now that I finally have a home again) haha and with a son with autism, OCD, and tourettes...also with anxiety. He has his friends here every weekend. I have no help from his father....none and if ido get a day here or there....the three days it takes to get him back to being calm and not beleiving his fathers words "You don't need those meds" I am a nurse and the last thing I ever wanted to do was put him on meds...and I have finally accepted that, especially because it minimizes his ticks, helps him sleep and decreases his lack of impulse control.

How do I get back to life...start dating ( when that still makes me panic) I know now I am pretty in my own way but I just need to beleive it.

How does a person venture out into a scary world???? How do you learn to trust enough to venture out.....my son is 13 this year. I do have more freedom but how do I meet nice people. The last couple months I was threatened in more ways than one by a psycho landlord, had my best friend stab me in the back and had relatives steal from me.

How do I learn to trust again.....the last couple of months, although I feel stronger in some ways....I fear people more. I want better for me and my son........any suggestions.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Pand,


I have no clue as to how to find healthy friendships/relationships. I seem to attract all the wrong type, so I quit looking.

I do understand your frustrations.....You are young so keep looking...Don't quit yet, you may just find the right one. I wish you well.

 

[pandora]

I hope so......it just seems so hard right now. i want to trust...I am so fearful!

 

[Nicolette]

From my point of view Pandora and Wendy.... I don't think you have to go in full steam ahead with relationships/friendships and trust from the onset. Trust can be built/earned over time. Why not try dipping your toes in first.....Then, if it goes pear shaped, you haven't invested too much...and if it does work....you can learn to trust again!

 

[pandora]

How and where do you meet...nice, understanding men?

 

[Nicolette]

In places you would normally go doing the things you normally do..... you just have to get out and not try...it usually happens when you least expect it and aren't trying.... I met Anthony living next door and he'd been there for almost 6 months before I even met him....the reason we met was because of our boys being friends.

Don't go to bars and clubs if that is not where you normally go. Just go out and be you!!! If a friend invites you out - go. Go to the park or library or wherever you like being.

 

[pandora]

I go no where. I met the last man...over the internet, new him from highshool..or of him at leastt

 

[Awakening]

Pandora, I have a single friend who complains about trying to meet men saying:

Everyone tells me to get out there - but no one gives me directions to where "out there" is.

She makes jokes that when she finally finds this mysterious 'out there' place it's going to filled with millions of men.

 

[Nam]

I'm glad to see a thread started like this. I've been here awhile. Back when I knew everyone. It's so big now. And yep, I keep coming back. Lately, I come back just to see how everyone is doing. I like seeing progress and seeing people get better. Once in a rare while, I'll have a panic attack and want to read about others so I don't feel like such a freak.

I think with time, you will find yourself less compelled to come back to the forum. You look at the last time you visited and be surprised it's been that long. It's a nice, familiar place to go to when you're hurting, but when you're feeling good, you'll be living life instead.

((HUGS))

 

[Marlene]

I think with time, you will find yourself less compelled to come back to the forum. You look at the last time you visited and be surprised it's been that long. It's a nice, familiar place to go to when you're hurting, but when you're feeling good, you'll be living life instead.

You nailed it, Nam.

 

[goingonhope]

Unlike those who keep coming back, I've simply never left, nor ever seriously thought of it. I visit the forum when I'm feeling good, bad or indifferent. I come here, because you'all and this forum makes all the sense in the world to me.

You' All are people I respect and will not, nor could truly ever forget.


Hope

 

[Nicolette]

I like seeing progress and seeing people get better. Once in a rare while, I'll have a panic attack and want to read about others so I don't feel like such a freak.

I have to agree with you Nam. At present most of my time here is moderating as I don't have much to say. It is nice to sit back and watch people get better or even just stuff up and be strong enough to admit it, apologise, learn their lesson and move on.

As for being a freak, it is really sad that you people sometimes feel like that. I guess society is not always accepting of what it does not understand. From my point of view you are mostly all loving and caring people who have had bad things happen to you which have rocked your world to the point where it sounds like sometimes you go through hell. For that I am sorry and I wish all those rotten abusers out there get what they deserve.