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Why Does My Heart Drop?

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Like that feeling you get when a family member died or your about to get into a car accident and you miss. You heart sinks to the bottom of your gut.
 
Like that feeling you get when a family member died or your about to get into a car accident and you miss. You heart sinks to the bottom of your gut.

I get that all the time in the form of emotional flashbacks. It's that feeling of your wold crashing down around you. I often wake up in the middle of the night from that. It is flashbacks from the first time it happened.
 
It's not like it sends me into a flashback. It's more what I would try to describe would cause that. I had one major one during the psychosis. And then all of a sudden I started getting them constantly.


And they wonder if I have anxiety. You know! I probably see it as a trigger. It didn't start making major anxiety until I quit my job and started have Pure O OCD. I had a fear that I was going to molest children. I had no desire to do this. I was the compulsive ruminating that lead to the theme switch. Which now is am I dead and standing before God. Now that is a flashback. And it only got easier with a benzo. Nothing else phased it.


I guess all the stress from working than quitting to realizing that I had some mental issue to the fact that God maybe mad at me and that I wasn't going to get my ex back. My world did come crashing down. My brain had no room left but to go insane. I'm thankful that on Tuesday I will be going in IP. So I can at least get my gabapentin addiction out of the way before I move and maybe try a different med.
 
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