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Wife Has Many Signs Of Ptsd, Though Undiagnosed. (i Am Diagnosed)

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Yes I'm trying to take care of myself, and I'm doing what I can to get her to a counselor, or anyone really, she doesnt have so many people she confides in other than me.
 
Then a therapist would really help, she has a high stress job and coping with an autistic child at home means her stress load is awful. If nothing else, she should go see a therapist just to help give her someone to vent to who she doesn't need to worry about being judged by, and someone she can fire if she thinks they are.
 
I just don't know how I got myself into such a situation after all the crap I went through before... I don't know
Is she similar to anyone in your past? It could be a subconscious effort to resolve the pain of the past by being in a relationship with someone like this... or there could be other reasons why you married her despite the unresolved pre-marriage concerns.

Yes I'm trying to take care of myself, and I'm doing what I can to get her to a counselor, or anyone really, she doesnt have so many people she confides in other than me.
If she isn't ready or willing to do therapy, finding her a therapist won't help much.

But if you become good at setting and holding boundaries, her behavior will stop working as well for her to get the compliant responses she wants from you.

There is also the option of going to couples therapy with out her (people do this from time to time) and seeing if she comes out of curiosity or defensiveness.

In the end, the more you can let go of trying to change her, and instead change your response to her, the further you will probably get, especially because she may have BPD.
 
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