Supporter Wife Of An Iraq War Vet- Please Help!!!!

[WatkinsGirl]

Thanks Eleanor,

But I have to say, I am so physically and emotionally tired and sick. I really don't think I can keep going. I'm only thankful that we don't have children. I really want to give up now. I am absolutely heartbroken, exhausted and hurt. I just don't think I have anymore to give. At the moment I need the most support I am not only not receiving any, but I am being further beaten down....

I don't think I can anymore.

 

[Eleanor]

Can you take yourself someplace quiet and pretty for a weekend? Borrow a friend's house/apt? Just take a few days "down time" for you?

 

[WatkinsGirl]

I wish that I had the time to do something like that. I just have been forced to pour all of my energy into the job search/new firm endeavor. I had set up an appt. for us at our local Vet Center for yesterday. However, despite being terminated, the firm denied my time off request. My H had said ok to meeting on Monday, but, with my work, and I guess his (he texted back yesterday that his work schedule had changed), the meeting didn't take place.

I have to say though, I don't really have the energy anymore. If he doesn't want to get help, work this out, talk to me, then there is nothing I can do at this time.

However, I am not going to continue to pay for a home that I was forced out of almost more than two months ago. I am certain that he will view that as betrayal, and continue to lambaste me, but, I am too tired to keep up this charade that only benefits him.

 

[WatkinsGirl]

Sorry i havent responded sooner. My husband has grown more distant and worse. I went over to the house to talk twice today. He is asking for a dissolution. I am just in a very dark place right now. I can't reach him anymore. I know I am not perfect, but, I don't think this is the right thing.... I don't know what to do.... I will be in touch soon. He has just shut down & is acting as if I am a stranger. I need him. I love him, but he is slipping away. He is going to take an overseas security job and that I will never see him again. I love him. We have been together for 12 years. I have no idea what to do.....

 

[Eleanor]

((((((((WatkinsGirl)))))))) I wish I had a magic wand to wave and make all things better for you, hell, for all of us. I don't know what, if anything there is to do for him. What I do know is that you will have a clear idea of what to do for you. You need to take care of yourself. Be kind and gentle to yourself. Protect yourself. He may or may not make it out of his jungle - I pray that he does. Prayers and healing energy to both of you....

 

[WatkinsGirl]

You and me both Eleanor......:(

I just don't understand how he has become so absent. He has said things like " I don't want you in my gene pool." that it "...eeks him out that I am here" meaning that I dared come to our home and try to talk to him in person, and when he sees my car his blood pressure skyrocktets. I am 5 foot and 1/2 inches tall, I weight about 125, and I'm little. I'm no threat. Who has he made me out to be in his mind?

I had the dog with me, and she went over to him and was shaking, he said why is she shaking? I replied it must be becuase she was so excited to see him. She cam right back to me and jumped up next to me and curled up next to me. She's a pitbull, and she didn't really want anything to do with him. Even she could tell he was different.

I just know in my heart this is a terrible decisin, and I do'nt want to let him do this. He has turned me into a vilian in his mind. Mayber that makes it easier to leave, and by leaving the one thing that was constant through all of his deplouments and army service, then he is escaping that too.

Is there any final emergency brake I can pull? Anyone ever gotten to this point? Anyone ever comeback from this point'?

 

[Anglesachse]

Hi, It ain`t often I am on here so appologies for the belated Welcome.

As a 10 year Brit army Vet diagnosed with PTSD, 12 years after leaving active service in 1995, I can only salute you for your efforts. me and my wife have been together over 20 years, but 4 year ago was when I was at my worst. It got to the point where she had to get me Institutionalised, (A long complicated story to get me there, that I am not going to go into) she also disowned me at the same time. It was only after nearly 3 months when I was due to be released that I admitted I had a problem that needed working on, I spent allmost 9 months in 2 clinics getting to grips with my self. We are now back together and I am still a work in progress but life has definatly become better between us again.

It is possible to get to where you want to on this, but he needs to do something. I took me years of f*cking people about and pretending I had no issues, before I got help, unfortunatly it is not possible to force us to get it. We just block, ducking and diving around things. Have you told him about this site? how a bout the Combat PTSD site?

The Combat PTSD site is full of us arseholes, ranting and raving about life, but we also help each other in that typical Military way. We build each other up, we put each other down, and we kick each other in the butt now and again for good measure.

I prefure that site to this one, as do most of us. Mainly because its rough, we say what we want how we want, when we want and don`t need to worry about upsetting people. Most of us realy hate the Mollycoddling that happens on some site`s. Just write the site down for him and leave it where you know he will find it, the word Combat in the URL should intrest him, and that is what binds us all together on the site. We have all been through the meat grinder, the hurt locker, the shit pit, call it by what ever name you do, but we have all been there.

just my tuppence worth.