W
Wagon
Tho quitting his job kind of inspired me to take a good look at my work history and the jobs I really liked and did well in.
The one thing about the military that was ingrained in me to the bone, is goal setting and achieving. Every day, every week, every month has goals. If the goal is f*cked up, you immediately set a new goal and go about the business of achieving it. Almost automatic in allot of cases regardless of branch.
Failure, failure takes about two seconds. "Boy I f*cked that up, well, better get busy fixing it" and that's it.
So then you get to civvie life. Things are different.....understated. I got lucky. After school one of my first shore side jobs was being a Port Captain. Organize loading and unloading ships, supervise it and solve problems as they occur....generally every 3 to 10 minutes. The waterfront, for all it's negative connotations is a very open and honest environment, and while stressful, I pretty much thrived there. 150 people running around in a less than safe environment seemed to be a sweet spot for me. I also learned a hell of allot about communication and people from all walks of life.
Despite the chaos and very loud environment, all 150 people are constantly communicating with each other. Despite one person being in charge and responsible in addition to 3 other hierarchies going on (Ship, Stevedores, Checkers), all were equal in the tasks and the goal was common. Nobody gets hurt, no cargo damaged, ship gets out on time. From an outside view it probably looks pretty strange. Bunch of huge waterfront workers saluting each other (lots of ex army on the waterfront and veterans) and allot of times you'll see two or three of these giants walking arm in arm. Not a gay thing, it's just that everyone there trusts the other to guide and watch your back. They're discussing next immediate goal and ensuring they don't get run over while doing it. Also another thing that occurred was hand shaking. Shook 200 hands every ship. "Hello and have a safe day" and "Nice job, thank you" it was standard. You can't shake a persons hand and look em in the eyes......you are something less than human among people considered the bottom of the heap. Just a matter of trust.
And then you cross a line. Looks something like this.
....................................................................
Thin and dotted, your name generally goes there. And after that you put on a suit and tie and start working in an environment where goals are fuzzy and language is nothing more than a lubricant for plenty of bullshit.
People are more concerned about Pop Idol contestants than getting to work. Give open and honest communication....even without cursing, you get sent to HR and have some charges levied against you. Focus on solving a problem, you get in a bad spot because you've stepped into someones little political fiefdom. Another thing that drove me crazy is Working long....but not hard at all. Just racking up hours. HR once had to legally threaten me to sign over time sheets......for office people who did not work at all. Just consumed air, coffee AND took advantage of discounted dinners for working late.
I did not deal with office life very well. Did it for 8 years or better but that pretty much was fuel for the beast. I looked like a pin cushion at the end I had so many knives in my back walking out of that place.
Somehow...I don't think all of this has to do exclusively with PTSD. It certainly f*cking plays into it but we are all a bunch of goal oriented people as well as partners of the Beast. The modern Corporation seems to be more concerned with how you say things and how you dress than achieving any goal and the moment a goal seems difficult....it changes to something even more unclear.
I guess the big thing I've had to re learn is that if the goals are not clear, why the hell should you work towards them. If you walk into a job and it's not clear what they want to achieve and what they want you to do to help.......It ain't going to happen. And you will also hurt yourself trying to figure it out. This may somehow play into dealing with PTSD as well. I'm no expert, but goals do seem important.
Also two rules of thumb I have recently learned.
If someone hires you to "Drive Change" tell them to f*ck off. Because any company that has not managed to grasp that they need to change is not going to be changed by an individual unless they make you the CEO.
At the first sign of "Sensitivity Training" "Cultural Surveys" and other strange corporate mind control techniques, promptly turn in your resignation (upon finding another job of course) and site "crimes against humanity" as your reasoning.
Sorry for the ramble. Putting best face forward into the job market again and trying to remind myself the elements of what went wrong last time.......Besides the Beast taking over. It ain't all us. Sometimes the world is a real f*cked up place as well.
Wagon
The one thing about the military that was ingrained in me to the bone, is goal setting and achieving. Every day, every week, every month has goals. If the goal is f*cked up, you immediately set a new goal and go about the business of achieving it. Almost automatic in allot of cases regardless of branch.
Failure, failure takes about two seconds. "Boy I f*cked that up, well, better get busy fixing it" and that's it.
So then you get to civvie life. Things are different.....understated. I got lucky. After school one of my first shore side jobs was being a Port Captain. Organize loading and unloading ships, supervise it and solve problems as they occur....generally every 3 to 10 minutes. The waterfront, for all it's negative connotations is a very open and honest environment, and while stressful, I pretty much thrived there. 150 people running around in a less than safe environment seemed to be a sweet spot for me. I also learned a hell of allot about communication and people from all walks of life.
Despite the chaos and very loud environment, all 150 people are constantly communicating with each other. Despite one person being in charge and responsible in addition to 3 other hierarchies going on (Ship, Stevedores, Checkers), all were equal in the tasks and the goal was common. Nobody gets hurt, no cargo damaged, ship gets out on time. From an outside view it probably looks pretty strange. Bunch of huge waterfront workers saluting each other (lots of ex army on the waterfront and veterans) and allot of times you'll see two or three of these giants walking arm in arm. Not a gay thing, it's just that everyone there trusts the other to guide and watch your back. They're discussing next immediate goal and ensuring they don't get run over while doing it. Also another thing that occurred was hand shaking. Shook 200 hands every ship. "Hello and have a safe day" and "Nice job, thank you" it was standard. You can't shake a persons hand and look em in the eyes......you are something less than human among people considered the bottom of the heap. Just a matter of trust.
And then you cross a line. Looks something like this.
....................................................................
Thin and dotted, your name generally goes there. And after that you put on a suit and tie and start working in an environment where goals are fuzzy and language is nothing more than a lubricant for plenty of bullshit.
People are more concerned about Pop Idol contestants than getting to work. Give open and honest communication....even without cursing, you get sent to HR and have some charges levied against you. Focus on solving a problem, you get in a bad spot because you've stepped into someones little political fiefdom. Another thing that drove me crazy is Working long....but not hard at all. Just racking up hours. HR once had to legally threaten me to sign over time sheets......for office people who did not work at all. Just consumed air, coffee AND took advantage of discounted dinners for working late.
I did not deal with office life very well. Did it for 8 years or better but that pretty much was fuel for the beast. I looked like a pin cushion at the end I had so many knives in my back walking out of that place.
Somehow...I don't think all of this has to do exclusively with PTSD. It certainly f*cking plays into it but we are all a bunch of goal oriented people as well as partners of the Beast. The modern Corporation seems to be more concerned with how you say things and how you dress than achieving any goal and the moment a goal seems difficult....it changes to something even more unclear.
I guess the big thing I've had to re learn is that if the goals are not clear, why the hell should you work towards them. If you walk into a job and it's not clear what they want to achieve and what they want you to do to help.......It ain't going to happen. And you will also hurt yourself trying to figure it out. This may somehow play into dealing with PTSD as well. I'm no expert, but goals do seem important.
Also two rules of thumb I have recently learned.
If someone hires you to "Drive Change" tell them to f*ck off. Because any company that has not managed to grasp that they need to change is not going to be changed by an individual unless they make you the CEO.
At the first sign of "Sensitivity Training" "Cultural Surveys" and other strange corporate mind control techniques, promptly turn in your resignation (upon finding another job of course) and site "crimes against humanity" as your reasoning.
Sorry for the ramble. Putting best face forward into the job market again and trying to remind myself the elements of what went wrong last time.......Besides the Beast taking over. It ain't all us. Sometimes the world is a real f*cked up place as well.
Wagon
