Workout Intensity And Focus

[Freddy_hiding_less]

During all my life It’s been so clear that always during my best periods I’ve been in good physical shape, working hard physically or training well. Since maybe ten years I haven’t felt much improvement. I live, work a little, exercise and don’t exercise, I manage my difficulties still mostly with huge amount of avoidance.

My closest friend is my body, after all these years there is now no more disgust for my own body, that’s really amazing my body is finally mine and a source for feeling alive, so I guess this is a highway for me to further healing/growth.

All my workout have tended to be casual non focused, a waste when it comes to making me stronger or fully, all out and like fleeing making me totally exhausted, left nowhere alone, having to restart from zero orientation and energy.

Now I will try to focus on weightlifting, and do it with my mind set on empowerment not my habitual exhaustion. Perhaps that can bring some good body chemicals alive, and effect everyday life.

When I began doing deep knee bends I was once again flushed with a mix of disgust feeling and dizziness, but that have subsided.

 

[anni]

Hi,

I think maybe the language barrier is a factor in me not having been able to follow your post well, but I wished to because you spoke of huge avoidance issues. I tend to read these posts to see if there is anything helpful, so thank you for posting.

I THINK what you were getting at is that you used to work out until you just were so tired, you felt nothing? Now you lift weights, and feel strong and empowered? I have to say I think that IS genuinely helpful because one thing I've noticed myself is that any one thing I can 'do' which makes me feel more capable, does help me feel at least more likely to tackle the avoidance issues. I'd never equated that particular energy with physical strength before but that makes as much sense as anything, I think.

I have to say I was a little lost as to why one feels disgust doing deep knee bends, but that again could be something lost in translation.

Thanks for posting on dealing with avoidance1

Anni

 

[Grainne]

That sounds like a great plan to me! Energy focused on making your body stronger and more resilient can do nothing but help :) I understand when you say you used to either work out so casually that it did nothing for you, or worked out so hard it left you totally depleted. I used to go for the totally depleted side of things. When I was triggered (when I didn't even have a diagnosis) I would run. I took the back fields behind my property and would run, full tilt, until my chest was on fire and sweat had soaked through my clothes. Once in a while I went so hard I couldn't even make it back to the house without stopping to rest every few feet. Finding balance is key, and it sounds like you've found a good way to focus your energy on healing, instead of just exhausting yourself so you don't have to cope.

Grainne

 

[Deleted member 541]

Balance is key to anything that we try... Too much of something is just as bad as doing nothing, IMO!!!! I too workout 5 days a week. But I do it for several reasons. I do it for helping with depression, but also because of the fact that I have mild Emphysema, and I need to keep my lungs working.....I do an hour a day, in 2, 30 minute sessions, so I am not killing myself....Balance, my friend, balance......

 

[CCurry]

As an exercise physiologist and personal trainer I can tell you that 'exercise is the key to managing most medical conditions.' In all honesty I don't know have any client who has not improved their mental state or chronic condition.

 

[Freddy_hiding_less]

Anni! Thanks for Your answer, yea I'm just trying to write in English. And here we listen to it a lot in media so sometimes I probably believe to know much more about it then I really do.

For me my avoidance is so physical, mostly it’s like someone is pulling the plug as soon as I in any way physically or metaphorically move towards my obstacle and when I turn and move away energy comes back again. A few times when being safe with people I have been in a friendly and swift way, “thrown into situations I fear” and it has worked out to great joy.
Other times or when I try doing it myself I have lost myself completely and have not been able to return to that situation.

With the plug being pulled I mean that I lose all energy, forget why I wanted to do the act that triggered me, and sometimes even what I wanted to do.

I figure that weight lifting could build in a pattern of resting feeling good, using my power to do something for me really heavy, without losing composure, and then rest again feeling good about what I’ve done.

When it comes to my disgust feelings I don’t really know why they occur.

 

[anni]

Hi again Freddy,

I 'Thanked' a few people who replied to your post because sometimes others write things I haven't been able to correctly verbalize, or say, if you know what I mean. I think your good post touched a great cord, so thank you! I understand from speaking with others who have learned English that it is NOT the easiest language to learn, and think you're doing very well. PTSD has a lot of elements which are hard for us to describe in English, so for you to have to figure out what we're meaning in another language adds another step in your healing ladder! :)

The disgust thing sounds an awful lot like what a lot of us see as shame, possibly. Most of the people in the forum know where their shame comes from. I do not, and no matter how much I try to narrow it down, it just occurs in certain situations.It is confusing not to know why. Yours occurs so specifically that I would have to think you will eventually be able to figure out what is going on. I do hope so!

Anyway, you are really on a very good track with the work outs, and having managed to channel your energies. I was very pleased to have been able to have ideas to work with from your post and the answers you received! I hope you'll be able to keep speaking with us when you feel you can. PTSD seems to make it a small world, doesn't it?

Take care! :)

Anni

 

[Freddy_hiding_less]

The disgust thing sounds an awful lot like what a lot of us see as shame, possibly.

I see shame as an emotional reaction, accepting disgust or contempt from self or others. That is how I see the mechanics of these feelings, on the other hand what I feel is what I feel is what I feel.

 

[anni]

Oh, sorry Freddie! I just assumed I'd gotten the incorrect idea myself.

Anni

 

[Freddy_hiding_less]

I lost you there Anni, but no reason to be sorry!