Worst Therapy Session Ever!

[SwordsPandaGirl]

Thank you everyone for your very kind words. After crying for the past few days and thinking on it a lot, I now feel better. I have decided that I will NOT go back to this T. She clearly does not care about others, which I think is an important characteristic for a therapist.

You are all right in that she certainly seems like she doesn't know what she is talking about and I shouldn't give her words much weight like @FridayJones has said. She doesn't know me and how can she from just one session?

@joeylittle Thank you for the links to the self-help workbooks. I will give these a try ad I don't think I'll be very successful on finding another therapist where I am from. Hopefully these will keep me going until I can find help (which is likely to be when I am back in the UK for university, in a years time)

@Chava I am quite isolated. I won't be able to get to another town from where I live so i'll need to look for other support elsewhere, which I was thinking would be good if I used self-help methods.

I look at things very analytically in my job, but when it comes to facing my past and dealing with it, that's a whole other issue.

I was trying to explain this to her during the session! @shell She refused to listen. Just because I can do that when it comes to my work doesn't mean I can do that about my past and traumas but apparently that makes me bad at what I do... Sometimes I find that my anxiety gets to me alot and I can't perform as best as I could because I spend most the time pancaking. Does this happen to you? It doesn't help that the job itself is stressful and knowing you have so many deadlines in which to complete things makes me feel worse. How have you managed to deal with this aspect of the job? Sorry for the questions, just finding it challenging at times.

Whenever I encounter someone with such negative energy, I always sage myself. Pick up some sage at any metaphysical store.

@risingsun what is sage? I will be running from her lol!

Thanks again everyone! Your words and advice has helped me greatly :)

 

[J_trustno1]

@SwordsPandaGirl : I'm sorry that you met the worst Therapist ever. Well, she's a very cold bitch, excuse my language. She is not helping you with what you actually want help with but wanting to go into what makes her happy. That's not how therapy should be. You are having a lot of issues at home with family which is affecting your sense of peace and you need to find a way out of your current situation (i.e. home) before you can deal with your other issues. You are living in a toxic environment and you need to deal with that so that you can feel a lot calmer. My T didn't start off with my childhood sexual abuse because she knew that I was struggling at home and I am mostly dwelling on my other abusers and having similar issues to yours (i.e. low self-esteem and confidence, always seeing faults in oneself than those assholes). You need to be comfortable in your own skin first before you go into those deeper issues. If she is going to start off with sexual abuse, then I'm sorry to say that you'll be more traumatized than feeling calm about anything. With any kind of therapy, they normally start off with a wider picture, their job is to calm you down first and help you build some self- esteem and confidence before focusing on deeper issues.

I'm sorry that you have been treated badly by her. I mean you are only seeing her to help you NOT to make you feel worse. This is obviously a Client and therapist mismatch. You have already identified that you guys have a personality clash because she isn't willing to understand you and she seems like "Ms Know it all". So it's best you don't ever see her again. Wave her goodbye and try calming yourself down till you see another therapist. It took me 3 months to find a new doctor and 5 months to find a proper T. I have triggers which you already know and it's best to not meet toxic people because you've had enough of this shit at home and you don't need it anymore from outside. I can totally understand what you are feeling right now and I wish i could give you a hug right now and tell you that everything will be alright.

You have me and others here to help you out until you find a better therapist. Don't ever feel alone and hurt yourself, it's not worth the pain. You are working hard at this job, you have worked hard at uni and yes, it's difficult to maintain grades when you are dealing with so many issues at home and never being appreciated. It's not your fault but unfortunately we are just born in wrong homes where you as a child is not important, your needs are not important but their drama and family affairs are given priority. Please never feel that you are not good enough, you are just as good as any of us here, and you will get through this, it's just a tough time and you not giving up says a lot about you. It means that you are not a quitter but a person who strives to get through hardships and trust me, you'll get through this tough phase, I'm here to help you and lots others are here too :)

:hug:s

 

[shell]

Sometimes I find that my anxiety gets to me alot and I can't perform as best as I could because I spend most the time pancaking. Does this happen to you? It doesn't help that the job itself is stressful and knowing you have so many deadlines in which to complete things makes me feel worse. How have you managed to deal with this aspect of the job? Sorry for the questions, just finding it challenging at times.

Yes this does happen to me, sometimes I have three different people all wanting something at the same time, now I have stopped relying on numbing my self to be the robot that could do anything, I have had to relearn everything about the way I handle my stress when unreasonable expectations are placed on me.

I centre my breath first, tell myself it's okay I can do this, and prioritize in order of importance. We are only human we can not do the impossible no matter how hard we try, I am now more assertive, when someone asks for something I can't do because of other priorities I explain that I will get to it as soon as possible, but at this time the task I am doing has priority.

So far no-one has ever questioned me, or complained, we are not super human and they are usually realistic enough to see that you are doing your best. I found it was me who had unrealistic expectations of myself mostly, and I would go into a panic and get nothing done because I couldn't focus on one thing and became a disorganized mess.

I tell myself to calm, I can do this, and if I have to take a couple of minutes to destress and calm the panic I do, because everything takes longer and errors happen when I am panicking. Many people with PTSD hold down very stressful jobs, I have been a manager for the last fifteen years and have never had my abililty to do job questioned, work has always given me a real purpose in life, that when my personal life was falling apart due to therapy, it was the one place I could go to escape the reality of my life.

Good luck.

 

[xena21]

I hope you will dump her? She is obviously not a good therapist. Please tell her to go pound sand.