Worthy Thread

[Nam]

This is an exercise that Carpedium (old member) asked me to do when I was having feelings of worthlessness. It's pretty difficult if you are in the thick of PTSD symptoms and a pretty good indicator of healthy/unhealthy thinking toward yourself.

Name 5 things that you value about yourself.
Two rules: It can't be based on your performance or what others think of you.

Other ways to say it: change the word value with like, are proud of, love, and respect. I hope that helps @Solara .

I will start:
1. I allow myself to feel all feelings. They do matter.
2. I see the best in people. That I'm kind first.
3. That my history doesn't define me. It has even helped me have a wider view.
4. That I can talk to myself objectively with respect.
5. I have great things to do yet.

Your turn.

 

[TLight]

1. I am considerate of others needs
2. I am compassionate
3. I have learned to stand up for myself and non-aggressively call-out people on their bad behavior
4. I allow myself rest when I need it
5. I like that I've made the choice to stay in my body as much as possible

 

[.Bubbles.]

Nice idea. I'm having a pretty rough time, and don't feel so great as a person but I'll try.

I care about people, animals, things, causes.
I tend to make people laugh often.
I am a good listener and good to open up to.

Honestly that's all I can come up with, if performance doesn't count. I could probably come up with two for that.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm confused as a number of those are performance based in that they are things you do, actions, a performance if you will.

No, your hint isn't helpful. That wasn't my sticking point.

And many of the replies are performance based as well.

But, if your examples and replies are correct, then your explanation re performance is wrong and I can think of TONS of stuff.

 

[Rumors]

@Nam
I love your #5!
Great thread!

 

[Nam]

@Solara It has more to do with your character than what you do. I agree that it's hard, but this isn't a college quiz. It isn't about right or wrong. The act of thinking about it does good. That is the point, even if we don't get the answers "correct". Try.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Uhm ok whatever my point is that everyone is listing performance based things so what's the point as it's not in spirit with the activity? That's like being told to do a math problem and then breaking into song. Sort of pointless.

Ps I never said it was hard so not sure what you're agreeing with me on unless you're putting words in my mouth.

 

[Nam]

Then it's not for you. Find what works for you. This was helpful for me because all I wanted to post was things that I have done. My accomplishments. And how other's think of me. Like for an example: I'm a very good student. I can paint and draw very well. People like me because they think I"m nice. All those are not introspective. What we think of ourselves. When in the thick of depression or PTSD, it's hard to accomplish those simple things. I had to quit my job. I barely could get out of bed. I couldn't play with my daughter because I was having too many flashbacks. Forget artistic pursuits. Heck, I couldn't turn the toaster on. So all I could think about was all that I had lost. But does that mean that I'm worthless? That I shouldn't be here? If I am worthy, then what are the reasons? That is what I'm asking. I assumed this was "hard" for you since you are struggling with it. And that is okay. Good successes only come from struggle. This is all I'm saying about it from now on.

 

[seedling]

I'll try for five things:

1 - I value myself for loving to be a mother and enjoying being close to my kids.

2 - I respect myself for being determined to find a way through this PTSD mess.
.
3 - I appreciate myself for wanting to and being capable of being there for others.

4 - I value that people can tell me things they might be embarrassed about because I've become more nonjudgemental.

5 - OK, almost there! ummmmmm...............I think it's cool that colors mean so much to me.

I didn't have a problem with feelings of worthlessness in coming up with those things; my problem was putting them in to words. I have some good feelings about myself now but it's hard to express what they are. What exactly are those qualities I've come to see in myself. It's still vague - very much along the lines of "I don't know who I am" -- something I've struggled with a long time.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

Whooeee, this is a fine one. Good inner focus of core - life can crap on me but I do know this about me. Semantics on performance, question on intent.

Nam, kindling the inner heartland core is a great goal. Heck with new years resolutions for getting rid or crap. I am going to nurture them nuggets.

 

[ShadowSolace]

1 - I give love, kindness, and respect to everybody and will almost always offer a hand to hold.
2 - I excel in Forensic Science, Psychology, and English.
3 - I'm "Cuddly" according to one of my friends.
4 - I'm resilient
5 - I'll never let my mental illness define me

Stay awesome, everybody

 

[Friday]

Interesting.

Come to find, everything I value about myself is performance based.