Sufferer Would having sex help with flashbacks?

[flowerapple]

I am 19 and I have been raped multiple times since a child. I am sick of all these constant memories and flashbacks and the awful sick feeling and I just want to get rid of it. I read of exposure therapy and I wonder maybe if I just had sex with some people then eventually I will get used to it and I will be able to manage all this or something. I know it sounds stupid trust me but at the same time it makes sense in my head. And I found a couple guys and I told two of them about why I want to do it and they said that same thing that if I do it then I will feel better. What should I do? Any suggestions.

 

[420kitty]

They're just saying that to have sex with you.

 

[flowerapple]

I know but I just feel like its my last option. One of the anniversaries are coming up and I'm just tired of the feeling and I'm just hoping that maybe if I do this then the anniversary won't be so bad.

 

[Suzetig]

I read of exposure therapy and I wonder maybe if I just had sex with some people then eventually I will get used to it and I will be able to manage all this or something.

That isn't exposure therapy, it's exposure - which is likely to retraumatise you. Exposure therapy covers a range of therapeutic activities which are planned and supported by a therapist who can help you plan, prepare and reflect - not just throw yourself back into the trauma again.

Are you seeing a therapist just now?

 

[illusionist]

If you do it you could well be much worse....that's from my own personal experience.

 

[flowerapple]

Yes I am but she is away right now which is scaring me especially because she won't be here during the anniversary

I really don't want to but I so tired.

 

[hymnless]

It’s definitely not your last option! Have all the sex you’d like to have- but for the right reasons, not because it feels like you have to in order to get relief from the panic. There’s nothing enjoyable about that.

 

[Suzetig]

So, you need strategies to help you through the anniversary? What have you been working on in therapy?

 

[flowerapple]

Thanks, well do you guys have any advice about anniversaries. Because I am hopeless and I don't want to something stupid that I will regret.

I just started so not much. Just stuff like breathing and going for walks in nature (but it's too cold for that now), I sleep with a stuffed animal that really helps, and focusing on the here and now.

 

[illusionist]

Have you safe friends you can arrange to be around the anniversary?

 

[Suzetig]

Actually doing breathing exercises and being in the here and now are a great start. To get through difficult days you need to really commit to caring for yourself so anything that is soothing, relaxing and enjoyable. Are there people you can be with or an activity you can do that would help you feel safe?

And honestly, if you do end up having sec with someone it's not the end of the world, just accept it's something you needed to test out, and move on.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

Draw, Music, Color
Intense physical activity

Tap on your legs left and right while you visualize something safe/happy like a cute expression on your dog’s face or a favorite place. If the image turns negative, immediately stop tapping.

Think of something good about yourself. Such as “I am a loyal friend.” It can be anything. Now, while tapping right/left, use your quality that you believe in to help younger you. Be the loyal friend to younger you in your mind.

Yoga—free ones on YouTube, can find trauma specific ones.