Sexual Assault Would you believe me? was it my fault?

[OS56]

I was on a night out with my friend and was really drunk. I ended up going home with a guy, we got back to my house and nothing happened, I told him I was too drunk and he left, but he didn't seem very happy.

Days later he came to my house while my housemate was at work and forced himself in and raped me.

I'm scared to tell people the first bit because I feel like it makes me the one at fault. I know he was but did I give him an excuse? What if they think I just had drunk sex and lied about the rape because I regretted it? I've heard so many stories of women being accused of this.

 

[anthony]

I know he was but did I give him an excuse?

I think you answered yourself already -- he forced himself in and raped you. Rape can be very confusing, but not in this case based on what you have outlined.

I'm sorry you went through this.

 

[Justmehere]

Being drunk doesn't mean the rape was your fault. No one gets a free pass to rape people just because they are drunk that day or any other day.

It was not your fault in any way and he has no excuse for his behavior.

 

[Friday]

Try reversing it & see if it still makes sense.

Next time someone invites you over their home... Does that give you the right to break in and rape them a few days later?

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I am sorry this happened. I believe you.

 

[Deadman]

Being drunk does not mean you deserve to be raped. On the same day or any other day.

 

[EveHarrington]

No, not your fault at all.

There is no need to tell everyone the details of the rape. Most who are privileged enough to know, only need to know you were raped. Those who need to know more, i.e. the authorities (if you choose to report), and a therapist, will be understanding and not blame you in the least.

 

[Deleted member 41765]

Agree with all of the above and want to reiterate--I'ts Not Your Fault!

 

[liz81934]

Hi Thank you for sharing your story. This is not your fault he forced himself upon you and unfortunately we live in a world of victim blaming. But you know what happened and you said no while drunk his unhappiness is no reason to take advantage of someone. This usually is a messy situation but I believe since the events are separate with the same man you did not do anything wrong. Stay strong and anyone who tells you different I would remove from your life (no need for toxic people).

 

[blueangel371115]

It's not your fault. It's his. He attacked you. You didn't consent to anything, you weren't even asked. He forced himself on you. I believe you. As liz81934 says blaming the victim happens far too often. It's a tactic abusers also use to guarantee silence. By making us feel no one will believe us or care.