Would you ever tell your T that you miss them?

[Scarlet13]

I tell my T I miss her a lot and her response is to psychoanalyze that.
I tell her I love her and that is the attachment talking. I think it is fine to have an emotional attachment and to voice that to your T. I just try not to idealize the relationship and I try to balance my feelings with my practical therapeutic goals.
But the loving her and missing her feelings, if utilized correctly, can be quite productive and therapeutic.

 

[Sideways]

I encourage my T to take more holidays.

When we’re about to walk into her office for an appointment, my dog sits down in the reception and strains against his lead to try and stop me going in (which is cute, since he’s a 5kg shih tzu).

I often laugh that “He speaks for both of us” once I’ve carried him into the therapy room.

So, I don’t tell my T that I miss her. Although, I do make it pretty obvious that I hate going to therapy. And yeah, she’s ok with that!

 

[Starfire]

Thought about this a bit. My T is on vacation. Know how much I hated work calling when I was off. They knew they could & would call if there was a work emergency & the person covering for me was more than adequate. But one call for even a minor yes/no question changed my mindset back. Have had a lot happen since T is off including but not limited to earthquakes where daughter lives. Instead of calling tried *what would T say* & said it to myself. Morphed into what would T suggest doing, & did it. What an eye opening experience!! T is not my friend...he has been my teacher. He taught me to recognize & change patterns. He taught me how to care for myself. Gave me permission to do so. Guessed what?!!! I have learned to do it. I called a friend about my daughter & let her be a friend. When I see him next week, I will be supremely grateful he was gone. Won't say I missed him. Will say thank you for your knowledge, concern, faith in me & persistence when I denied, refused, argued. Will tell him I'm glad he's back.

 

[susannahsays]

No. If the situation were reversed, I think I would perceive a client saying that as a reproach. I might feel a twinge of guilt, or might not, but I would probably feel resentful either way of the client reproaching me. That may (probably) say more about me than anything else - but we all base our actions on how we perceive things. I am also aware that I have a deep-seated fear of being intrusive, and project the distaste or disgust I feel towards myself if I do something intrusive onto other people when I perceive them as being intrusive. Perhaps I am actually just jealous that other people can do such behaviors without guilt or shame. I am working on not being so judgemental on this subject and have been somewhat successful at having empathy although the feelings of disgust and disdain are still present as well.