Monday, just at the end of therapy, I put together the transference of seeing T as my childhood perpetrator. I thought I was going crazy that night. Felt like my world was caving in. All I could see was T and my perpetrator as one person. My body was a knot. Every muscle tensed to the max.
I called T on Tuesday and we met that afternoon for 90 minutes. I was able to talk about the abuse with no shame. And I felt. I wasn't shutdown. T offered that maybe her image over the perp's was a safety buffer more than identifying the two as one person. That made so much sense. She also said I was at a precipice that few people reach and she thinks the trauma therapy (after 14 years!) is coming to an end. Wow!
We're meet again tomorrow and Monday for 90 minutes each. Draining my bank account but I am so incredibly thankful I can afford the care right at this moment. Divine timing!
Wanted to share the good since usually my posts are me being in deep crisis.
A quote I read this week: "The light at the end of the tunnel is not an illusion. The tunnel is." Truth.
I called T on Tuesday and we met that afternoon for 90 minutes. I was able to talk about the abuse with no shame. And I felt. I wasn't shutdown. T offered that maybe her image over the perp's was a safety buffer more than identifying the two as one person. That made so much sense. She also said I was at a precipice that few people reach and she thinks the trauma therapy (after 14 years!) is coming to an end. Wow!
We're meet again tomorrow and Monday for 90 minutes each. Draining my bank account but I am so incredibly thankful I can afford the care right at this moment. Divine timing!
Wanted to share the good since usually my posts are me being in deep crisis.
A quote I read this week: "The light at the end of the tunnel is not an illusion. The tunnel is." Truth.
