Writing An Honest Dating Profile As A Ptsd Sufferer

[Justmehere]

I'm giving online dating a try. I'm frustrated with my online profile. It's not really the place to write anything about PTSD, but yet it is a very real part of my life. My therapist encouraged me to try dating anyhow.

If I was to write a more realistic description of life with me, this is what it would probably start off like:

I am a sometimes goofy, sometimes serious woman seeking a partner. I am an entrepreneur and business owner, because it was the only way to become employed after several years on disability for PTSD. I love to hike, cook, swim, and I try not to have flashbacks in public. I have a decent sense of humor, I love to laugh at myself, but I'm occasionally plagued with intense and undeserved shame. I am empathetic and compassionate, and I occasionally melt down in a pile of tears or suffer intense panic for reasons not immediately obvious to strangers, or even close friends. I am forgiving but when I am triggered, I struggle to not be irrationally frustrated over small things that remind me of past trauma. I enjoy sleeping under the stars while camping, and sometimes I unintentionally wake up the whole campsite (or apartment building) screaming in a night terror or nightmare. I have a wicked good memory, except for when I'm in a dissociative state and I can't remember much at all and nothing feels real.

I'm looking for... um... someone worth my fragile trust who can deal with all of this without trying to codependently rescue me and who won't suddenly abandon me.

If only I could post that...

What would you write?

Should I even be trying to date again if this is what life with me is really like?

 

[Biz]

@Justmehere, it sounds like your therapist is encouraging you to date, but also you're thinking a lot about dating, what to write, whether someone could handle things, if you're in the right place.

If you do decide to make a profile, I think it's honest to say, I have a lot of contradictions. Your "sometimes goofy, sometimes serious" sentence is awesome. My only reference to any issues on my dating profile is "My friends would say I am an intense person."

I often think that love is seriously the coolest part of being human. It's worth trying to have, especially with the right person. That said, if it's not the right time, don't. I have a profile and I've been on some dates, but I haven't been with anyone in 3 years. I like the idea of meeting someone and I like practicing with others. And, first and second dates with internet folks can be really relaxed. Trying to date teaches me about how I relate, but I don't honestly think I could do a relationship right now.

 

[Anarchy]

Go for it!
You can describe yourself,
You feel ready to connect,
Your more functional than I am!
I threw my just in case... Pack of condoms in the bin yesterday, unopened. They only expired a year ago!

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

On mainstream online dating sites such as POF, OKCupid, Match, etc, stating that you have a mental illness on your profile will sink you. Use a specialty website such as nolongerlonely. It specializes in friendship/companionship matchmaking for people with PTSD and other disorders.

 

[Friday]

My 2cents...

Everyone has faults, challenges, various kinds of things that are disqualifying for a lot of people.

Leading with that information? To me just shouts low self esteem. It says "Rather than get to know you, & decide if *I* want anything to do with you... Here's everything bad about me, so that you can decide I'm not worth it, in advance! Predators targeting vulnerable women? Here I am, baby!!! Gift wrapped all nice and neat for you, belly exposed! :inlove:"

Shudder.

Danger Wil Robinson!