Writing stories and creating characters threads

[shatter eyes]

I feel offended when people dream of writing about our nightmares.

When i read threads of about purported writers wanting to create as story out of our struggles so they can jerk off their authoring ego I feel insulted.

Maybe i feel this way because i am not able to write my own stuff out. I am not a character i would know how to write.

I understand some people come to forum to be enlightened and enriched. It feels to me like a grab n go. Grab what you want and go.

Its like me going to very sick starving children and asking them "can you all tell me how hunger feels?" while I eat a KitKat in front of them... gimme a break.

I guess this is rant? Mods can move to appropriate section.

 

[somerandomguy]

I completely, entirely agree. It is incredibly disrespectful. These people know they could just Google it, but they get to appear all writery for an audience. I love your phrase "jerk off their authoring ego" because this is exactly what it is.

Even lurking would be better. They're still ghoulish voyeurs, but at least lurkers don't ask stupid questions.

None of them are "real" authors anyway - just Nanowrimo wannabes.

 

[CatInTree]

If they were real authors they wouldn't look to exploit a support group for profit.

And this is coming from someone who is helping someone with a story. The difference is that he did not go all "I want to write about this or that disorder". He had the "this is what I plan on happening in my story". I also knew him from before and knew that he could do the events of the story justice and he didn't volunteer me to help him. I volunteered myself and he checked that I was being serious.

That or a writers group is the proper way of getting someone to help you out.

Asking Google and finding actual research is the proper way of doing research. Or finding public talks. If I was to write "things I want people to know about X" in Google I bet I could find people who had already volunteered to clear up misunderstandings.

But I will not relive things for someone's entertainment.

 

[bellbird]

Its like me going to very sick starving children and asking them "can you all tell me how hunger feels?" while I eat a KitKat in front of them... gimme a break.

1000x yes.
(nice pun btw ;) )

 

[Gs172003]

I feel offended when people dream of writing about our nightmares.

When i read threads of about p...

Omg this. It's like going to a hospital and asking someone that is terminal " tell me what it's like to be dying"

 

[Swift]

Thank god I'm not the only one.
I mean, it's emotional pornography they're after.
I don't think you can just waltz in to someone else's space and demand stuff.
What's next? Rocking up to an inpatient facility? If they can see the problem with that, surely they should see the problem with this.
I'd like to add a massive shoutout to the mods for jumping on it quickly and doing what they can to keep those kinds of people out.

 

[Virtues]

It doesn't bother me at all. I'd rather have them get the story right than further perpetuate stigma. However, I have noticed that a majority of the people in the forum have come here in a really bad spot, so maybe this isn't the right medium to combat stigma. I'll tell you what does bother me though, stolen valor.

 

[CatInTree]

I don't have a problem with accuracy. But there are plenty of ways to get it right without coming into a support group asking for stories. Talking to professionals, reading literature about what you want to write about and so on.

I guess it's hitting a nerve for me because I've been treated like an entertainment facility in the past. Due to some things I considered necessary at the time (and still would call necessary if I didn't have the knowledge I gained in the process) a large group of people found out about my story. I was both naive and desperate. I thought that if someone wasn't directly hostile they wanted to be supportive. What I found out was that there were people who just wanted their curiosity satisfied and then lost interest in me as a person when they got bored. After I started putting up boundaries the following exchange encapsulates why I left the community

"I don't want to talk about [traumatic event] now. Can we discuss something else?"

"No. Did you ever consider that a lot of people have a different opinion..." I don't remember which aspect of my story there were different opinions on that time.

This was in front of an audience of people I had thought had my back. Not one of them stepped in.

 

[Gs172003]

I have a coworker I confided in that I have ptsd because I worked with him every day and thought he might need to know. Huge mistake. Now every time I look upset he will ask me in public if I'm ok and if I'm going to have an episode. I try to ignore it but it pisses me off.

 

[EveHarrington]

The truth is that they are being lazy. Yep, lazy.

Instead of doing actual research.....you know, the kind where you do the damn work yourself? Reading books, consulting with professionals, seeking out scholarly articles, etc......it’s so much easier to go online, make a post, and just have the information be handed to you. LAZY! Lol.

It’s taken me 30 some years to get things pretty much figured out for myself. Not healed, just knowing the nuts and bolts of what’s going on and my reactions and how I can best take care of myself. Why would I hand this knowledge over to someone for their pleasure? And to think we could summarize the ptsd experience in a thread reply? It’s just a gross underestimation of what ptsd actually is!

And yes, *actual* authors know how to properly go about research. I have a feeling the kind of stuff we’re approached with would be on the level of 50 shades in terms of literary skill. Not arguing content, but have you seen any written pages of those books? It appears as middle school writing. Anyone writing on a high school level would do better. Yes, I digress, point being that most of this internet fiction is horribly written and would NOT do anything to further the understanding of PTSD in the least.

Saying that we’re helping one author “get it right”...? I wouldn’t count on it, as again, real authors aren’t approaching us for our stories.

 

[Friday]

My opinion on the matter can be found here

Writing A Book, Need Some Advice

& here

In the non-fiction world it's called journalistic integrity, when writers are researching real people. The fiction world also has it's own code of ethics and standards of practice in researching real people. What this poster has done is the equivalent to the paparazzi grilling grieving parents at their child's funeral. There is no moral ground to stand on. Which is also why serious journalists and serious authors get real and in depth interviews on the most personal and heartbreaking and confidential of topics, as they're not only careful with how their information is collected, but how it is presented and disseminated. And why paparazzi and pulp writers get shown the back of the hand. It's a question of trustworthiness & principled behavior, from start to finish.

 

[Virtues]

Meh I've got way too much to worry about that some fiction writer wading through the forum looking for details to fill in the depth for his characters isn't really my top concern (or any concern for that matter). I just don't volunteer my information when asked directly plain and simple, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let it ruin my day. It's also why some of my story doesn't (and never will) make it to the forum. The last thing I want to do is turn around and see that my darkest secrets have been made public. Some things I choose to hold on to.