You know you are codependent when your favorite childhood game was “SORRY”.
You know you are codependent when you love the cologne “Obsession”.
You know you are codependent when you go the doctor to get some sleeping tablets because you are going through it. The tablets work and now you have new energy to go through it.
You know you are codependent when you have just come out of major surgery with the operation taking longer than expected and you feel bad that the person who escorted you had to wait additional time.
You know you are codependent when you have 200 channels to pick from but you hand the remote to your partner.
You know you are codependent when you are told you are indecisive. You initially deny this then you say, “I am not indecisive…am I?”
You know you are codependent when you are from a warm climate yet you live in a place with a freezing winter because your partner has got this weird fixation with sledding.
You know you are codependent when you apply for a job and the interviewer says, “Tell me a little about yourself” and you proceed to tell them about your partner’s love of hunting, skiing and baseball.
You know you are codependent when you deny the first dance with your wife at your wedding reception because your mother is pouting in the corner because no one is paying her any attention.
You know you are codependent when you train intensely for the NY marathon and on the day of the event you don’t run it because your partner is having a moment.
You know you are codependent when you apply for a catering job and your potential boss ask you if you have any experience and you reply, “Plenty”.
You know you are codependent when you are prepared to pay for a taxi journey for your abuser which will cost you $300 because you feel they are too thick to figure out how to use the train system.
You know you are codependent when you meet normal people and you spend the next three hours explaining why your family do what they do.
You know you are codependent when you hate country music but love the song, “Stand by your man”.
You know you are codependent when you think “Pleasant dreams” is an oxymoron.
You know you are codependent when your favorite Led Zeppelin song is “Ramble on”.
You know you are codependent when you could relate to the Secret service for “taking a bullet” for protecting your guy. The only difference is they get paid for it.
You know you are codependent when you respect Paul Simon but don’t get it when he says “there are 50 ways to leave your lover”.
You know you are codependent when your dad doesn’t give you any credit. He runs down your new fella saying he is not ambitious enough yet you are dating Donald Trump.
You know you are codependent when you hear the Christmas song, “Do you hear what I hear and do you see what I see?” and no one does.
You know you are codependent when your guy has been arrested and charged with killing an entire town. Many people want this guy dead. You are upset that that these people just don’t see what you see in him.
You know you are codependent when your girlfriend is a top dominatrix and you are still waiting to see her “softer side”.
You know you are codependent when you apologize to your therapist for “talking too much” yet you are paying him/her for the privilege of talking.
You know you are codependent when you love the Beatles song, “We can work it out”.
You know you are codependent when your partner wants a threesome. You are contemplating it even though you are not bisexual.
You know you are codependent when your therapist tells you to love yourself unconditionally and you come up with, “what else you got”.
You know you are codependent when you bring your normal friend over to a get together with your family. Your friend notices that a family member became emotional with a tear. The rest of the family froze. Your friend had to tell you that tear was in response to a feeling which stumped you.
You know you are codependent when you compare talking about yourself to The Wicked Witch in “The Wizard of Oz” losing the plot when Dorothy threw water on her.
You know you are codependent when you think the Christmas song “Silent Night” is impossible.
You know you are codependent when you are attractive to irresponsible, rude bad boys who put you in your place and 20 years later they still do it for you.
You know you are codependent when you can identify with the Grinch who stole Christmas because they said the three best words to describe him were, “stink, stank, stunk”.
You know you are codependent when your friends call you 7 to 1 meaning for every one compliment you give yourself you have seven nasty things to say about yourself.
You know you are codependent when your therapist develops writer’s cramp when you start listing all the things you hate about yourself.
You know you are codependent when your parents run you down for not being successful. You listen to this shit even though you have already matched their ceiling of higher education with a high school diploma.
You know you are codependent when you are raised in a “no talk of feelings” type of family and you try and tell your normal partner that your parents did the best they could do.
You know you are codependent when your new self-confidence is shattered when your ugly coworker calls you fat. You go home and start eating again instead of thinking how ugly is this woman? Put down the Doritos and cheer yourself up and say “if a man kissed her on the neck he would get fur in his mouth”.
You know you are codependent when you meet a nice girl who is sincere and loving. You don’t go on a second date because she is uncomfortable to you.
You know you are codependent when you just had a fantastic hour massage which was affordable. You tell yourself on the way home that you better not get used to that.
You know you are codependent when stalking laws were set up because of you.
You know you are codependent when the school bully takes your lunch money every day for a year but you forgive him because he has had a tough time of it at home.
You know you are codependent when your partner gives you flowers every time he cheats on you and now you have enough flowers to open up your own garden center.
You know you are codependent when your drill instructor calls you a “no good, walking the dog, lowlife scumbag who doesn’t have what it takes” and you are impressed with his insight.
You know you are codependent when you easily forgive your parents because let’s not forget they had it so bad when they were growing up but you cannot give yourself a break on anything.
You know you are codependent when you are doing the paperwork for your brand new car. The salesman asked you if it will be cash or credit. You say, “I don’t do credit whatsoever!”
You know you are codependent when your favorite cd is Janet Jackson’s “Control”.
You know you are codependent when you have more issues than DC Comics.
You know you are codependent when you give great advice but for some reason you don’t practice what you preach.
You know you are codependent when you are still searching for something from mom and dad even though they have given you codependency.
You know you are codependent when you meet a sweet normal guy. You don’t return his phone calls because you find him boring.
You know you are codependent when you want to see your favorite group Santana in concert. You choose not to go when you see the name of the concert is, “An intimate evening with Santana” because you don’t do intimacy.
You know you are codependent when you seek out people who are emotionally unavailable. The irony is they think you are too emotional.
You know you are codependent when you work out to “If I can't have you I don't want nobody, baby” by Yvonne Elliman.
You know you are codependent when your family take advantage of you yet have the audacity to tell you not to take any shit from anyone.
You know you are codependent when you take up cycling because it is fun. You stop cycling because you are not readily available to anyone who you think needs you and how dare you do something that is enjoyable.
You know you are codependent when you can relate to a puppet because someone is always pulling your strings.
You know you are codependent when you get a promotion and decide to buy a new car. Your jealous so called friend says “must be nice”. You feel bad instead of looking at the fact that this guy is a jealous idiot who would screw up a cup of coffee if you asked him.
You know you are codependent when you seek approval from people who have not demonstrated anything worthy to be proud of.
You know you are codependent when the people you admire are considered jokes to normal people.
You know you are codependent when you hear therapists tell you to take back your life and you think, “I have to get a life first before I take it back!”
You know you are codependent when your partner complains he is moody because he suffers with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). You go along with this and you still think he is a great guy even though you have seen him moody when it is sunny and 80 degrees outside.
You know you are codependent when you honestly think you can change your abuser and that someday your abuser will come through for you as long as you hang in there.
You know you are codependent when there is a local production being sponsored by the school. They need someone to play “the victim” in the show. You are chosen unanimously.
You know you are codependent when things are going well but you are waiting for the other foot to drop.
You know you are codependent when you only like being mediocre. You don’t want to suck but you don’t want to be really successful because what would people think?
You know you are codependent when your family wants you to be just as miserable as they are which is sinking really low yet you think they deep down care about your welfare.
You know you are codependent when your mother talks shit about you yet you go out of your way to get her something nice for Mother’s day because deep down she really cares.
You know you are codependent when you always reward your abuser for bad behavior.
You know you are codependent when you live by the expression “he isn’t so bad once you get to know him.”
You know you are codependent when you receive praise and you try and scratch it off like a dog with fleas.
You know you are codependent when your mom tells you that you are weak for needing help and you think she has a point.
You know you are codependent when you become the spokesperson for the manufacturer of rose colored glasses.
You know you are codependent when you bought yourself a canoe so you could paddle down the river Denial.
You know you are codependent when you don’t realize you have the strength to rid yourself of your abuser.
You know you are codependent when you have more excuses than sense in dealing with your sick parents and for some reason you don’t get it that they are not nice people.
You know you are codependent when you won’t simply let go and venture down a better avenue than the current dead end street you are on.
You know you are codependent when the title of the song “Sacrifice” by Elton John describes you.
You know you are codependent when you hang out at bars hoping to meet yet another alcoholic who you feel you could rescue.
You know you are codependent when you name your kids Martin and Denise because it is perhaps the closest to “Martyr” and “Denial”.
You know you are codependent when you will insist on working it out with your sick abuser instead of staying the hell away from them.
You know you are codependent when you don’t do yourself any favors.
You know you are codependent when you wonder why your date left skid marks when he/ she asked you to name three things to describe you and they were “Codependent, People Pleaser, and Control Freak”.
You know you are codependent when you think being needy and codependent is something to be proud about.
You know you are codependent when you have just read the entire list and you still don’t want to acknowledge your codependency.
