You Know You Have PTSD When...

[Nighthawk]

When the noise in your head gets so loud it sounds like crickets chirping. You start freaking out that your going deaf or further crazy. After checking the windows you realize it really is crickets.:roflmao:

 

[Charmedone]

When meeting basic needs by eating, sleeping etc is like mission impossible.

When putting on the poker face feels like lying to those you love.

When you think of yourself as a thing

When things are bad you hurt so much you laugh, and when things are good you laugh so much it hurts.

 

[safenow]

I just don't do what they called inappropriate crying.

Every year on the anniversary date of the kidnapping of my children, I cry, and I cry for the entire day and night. I don't want drugs to stop that. Over the years, people have made some nasty cracks that they think is helpful. Because it's on Thanksgiving, a time when most people want to show how much they care by inviting you over for dinner, I always decline. They don't understand and no matter how much I try to explain, they just don't get it. It's the one time of year I allow myself to remember them. When I think about them any other time, I can't function. It's a mourning thing. They are not dead. They just aren't alive to me. So I mourn in a different way than other people.

I have found is to only do that to those who are safe for me to do it with or else to be prepared for a response I don't want.

This is the first place I've been able to say that, and know that you'll understand. Thank you.

 

[Britt.f7]

I don't want drugs to stop that.

Drugs won't or shouldn't stop that type of crying. They do stop or help slow down my inappropriate tears. Your tears of mourning are not inappropriate. I don't know why people couldn't understand your sadness during that time every year. I'm sorry for their ignorance and or lack of compassion.

My drugs only helped control the 24/7 crying I was doing. Those tears were beyond mourning and I couldn't control them, though I wanted to. Those tears weren't helpful and there was no cause or reason behind them. You have reason for your tears and that kind I really wouldn't want to stop. It's part of your healing and your loss. I know, even on my meds, those tears would still come to me. Those I would embrace, just like you embrace yours.

 

[KatB]

When meeting basic needs by eating, sleeping etc is like mission impossible.
When things are bad you hurt so much you laugh, and when things are good you laugh so much it hurts.

:( This has become a daily struggle for me also. I am glad to know I am not the only one who thinks this way. About two weeks ago, when I was being transferred from the hospital to the Psych ER, I laughed so much that I thought I was crazy. It was my first time ever on an ambulance bed! I was hurting but I couldnt show it. I was a nervous wreck that I laughed so much. How is that possible? It still doesnt make sense to me.

 

[safenow]

How is that possible?

The human mind is a wonderful thing. It is a form of release. When we laugh and others say it is inappropriate, they just don't understand. The pressure that trauma or other bad things can cause can kill us. Like giving us a heart attack or other such illnesses. It can make us wish we were dead. It is rather like a pressure cooker. Once in a while the steam has to be released or the pot will blow up.

 

[p-no]

...when you have had a Kindle for some weeks now and have been using it frequently, too, but still find yourself everytime you close the cover to try to earmark the page (yes, by trying to fold the upper right-hand corner of the screen...).

 

[safenow]

You know you have ptsd when you go into a mental hospital and can relate to everyone there.

 

[anni]

When you can come here and say hee- it happened again....

Yesterday in the grocery store, a VERY nice woman who didn't even look familar said " Ohhhh, I thought it was you guys, my goodness, is this your son? He's so big, bet he doesn't remember me! " Nope, that was true. Son was looking goofy and unsure, smiling politely but worried-kept giving me 'Who the hell is this, introduce me NOW' looks. She went on to 'sorry about Dad, didn't I look good, hadn't seen us for AWHILE ( I'm thinking well, EVER ), so nice to run into us ( ditto, she seemed like a lovely person, I'd be happy to make her acquaintance ) and she had to run' ( thank God for that, I'm an awful actor, she could not possibly be buying my polite load of 'nice to see you too' cr*p ). The vague hope that SHE mistook us for someone else died when she referred to my son by his name, rats.

This is not a singular occurance. It happens with regularity. One of them? Knew the name of my dog, no lie, must have been pretty darn familiar with me and I still had no idea on the planet who on earth she was. I can only hope they'd all see the humor in it. My son and I made it to the car before losing it. He's 14, has an excuse. I have PTSD.

 

[safenow]

This is not a singular occurance. It happens with regularity.

That used to happen to me a lot. But then I not only have Chronic PTSD, but i'm a multi (Multiple Personality Disorder - MPD). Perhaps you dissociate or perhaps she had plastic surgery. LOL.

 

[Ice_Fire]

When you email your therapist more than you talk to your friends.

When all the friends you actually trust are members of the forum who you've never met in person.

 

[jesusfever]

when you shamelessly wear your sunglasses on the subway