Your T Knows You Well When....

[Panda Bear]

You get a text the morning of your appointment to let you know that the waiting room will look different.

The water cooler broke, it's been taken out and they are waiting for a new one. The waiting room is painfully small!! I hate it and I struggle when T changes his surroundings and then doesn't tell me!

He really tries to make things easier for me. It was a funny, yet much appreciated text today. I totally would have flipped and needed a few min to process the change if he hadn't told me ahead of time.

 

[sun seeker]

It does feel validating when people see, remember and care about our particularities, doesn't it? Sounds like it was a relief to you when your therapist took your needs into account like that.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I'm really glad you have such an understanding and caring theraphist :) Hopefully your theraphy goes well :hug:

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

My therapist tries to tell me of changes like that, too, because I would definitely start to freak about unexpected changes. If she hasn't told me ahead of time, she will likely point it out when I get there and ask if it's okay (like there's a new plant or something). I actually did have her take a plant out once (she works at home so she just put it on her porch) because it was creeping me out.

 

[Powder]

I'm only like this with my own house. I don't "Freak out" unless it's my own home.

Everywhere else, it's just weird for a while.

 

[Chava]

Well, she seems to recognize my meltdowns before I do, even via e-mail (she doesn't tell me I'm having a meltdown but switches to language about keeping safe, present, etc).

She'll ask if the sound of an appliance is okay with me or if she should turn it off (I'm usually fine with it, but she knows I'm hypersensitive to sounds).

She doesn't push me.

And I've told her some stuff that was so f*cking ridiculous (my opinion) that I would not even dare tell God.

 

[Panda Bear]

I jokingly asked him if he let everyone know about the water cooler, he laughed and said "no, not everyone is upset by these things like you are"

@sun seeker. He tries so very hard to accommodate my oddities. He told me it's his way of showing that he cares about me and wants me to see that he has my best interest at heart.

I'm more likely to respond to actions vs. words. Like he can say he cares about me all he wants, but it's the text about the change and the moving of the pillow on his couch(I hate the pillow) that makes me understand that he does care about me. And that he dose these things with consistency

@Saelben. Today was good, I really am thankful he let me know about the change. It helped make the visit good.

 

[Biz]

My sensitivities are a bit odd too. When my T moved to her home office, she text to say they hadn't finished installing the hallway door (the office door was one) that blocked out the rest of her home and there was just a plastic drape and if I didn't want to come, she understood. I'm really over the top about boundaries sometimes. It was a good moment.

 

[barefoot]

My therapist moved rooms a few weeks ago and took me upstairs so we could do a reccie together - it was freshly painted and didn't have any furniture in it. I thought at the time I was just peeking in to be a bit nosey and because she was excited about it and wanted to show me. Ha! Obviously, afterwards, I realised that she'd given me a sneak preview to help me feel comfortable and safe with the new space before we started our sessions in there.

I felt a bit pathetic when I realised that - I'm sure she didn't do that with all her clients and she didn't use to do it with me (we swapped rooms in her previous building a couple of times for odd sessions and it didn't freak me out). But I try to tell myself it's just where I am right now in terms of my boundaries and feeling "my space". And it was helpful to have had the reccie first, I think.

It's good that they're thoughtful and communicate these kinds of things to us to accommodate our....idiosyncrasies ;-)

 

[Friday]

A past T was the one who picked up on a verbal tell of mine... If I say I'm alright? I honestly feel pretty damn decent... But something is seriously wrong. Each. And. Every. Time. Usually several somethings. Like if a house falls on me? As long as I'm walking and talking? Hell, even if I'm just conscious in the rubble? I'm alright. Just been raped? Yeah. I'm alright.

It's when "I'm fine." that anyone really needs to worry :rolleyes:

Neither are a conscious thing. I'm not trying to convince anyone, except maybe myself, but even then I don't really notice I'm doing it / really believe it at the time. So I've learned to stop & check myself if 'alright' falls out of my mouth at any point :p It was a really good catch on his part.

 

[Rumors]

@FridayJones
I say "I'm fine" when that usually means that I a, really not fine. If I say "good" it is actually ok. Lol. Isn't that funny how we try and be sneaky but in reality we are only hurting ourselves by not just saying we are crappy.... Lol. If I walked in and sat down and said "yeah, pretty crappy" he may have a heart attack or think the end is near. Lol.

 

[Panda Bear]

@FridayJones @Rumors

Lol! Then "fine" answer has been removed from my vocabulary.m one of the first challenges T had!! He couldn't tell up from down and everything was just "fine". He no longer allows me to use the word in session, and as a result, it's been removed from my daily life. Sometimes I try, but I know better. If I say I'm fine....he knows now that I am anything BUT FINE.