Worst Therapist Story

[ghotiff]

My first T launched into trauma work without stabilization and left me a mess, suicidal etc.

But it was the second T I'm most angry at. I rang the practice on a recommendation and told them I was suicidal because of my first T"s trauma work for my Csa ...I was very clear on my history and needs. I had to wait 2 months for an appointment...when I saw her she told me that she was not qualified to discuss my sexual abuse.... :banghead:

I waited 2 months being suicidal and a total mess (while raising my children) to pay $200 to be told that she was insufficiently qualified (apparently the qualified person was on maternity leave). :banghead:

 

[Dana1010]

My first T launched into trauma work without stabilization

Wow. This is hard for me to believe, because I've had the opposite problem. The therapists I've seen have done nothing but steer away from the things I need to talk about (and not so we can work on stabilizing-unless meandering small talk is your idea of stabilizing). What exactly did the "trauma work" consist of? I'm curious, because I don't know if I've ever experienced it.

 

[ghotiff]

What exactly did the "trauma work" consist of?

I was encouraged to
- talk about what happened, details etc. things that I've never told anyone and I wish I could take back.
- find childhood photos etc of the abuse time periods
- collect a timeline like diary of everything I knew or could find from that time period.
- theorize on details that were missing (that caused additional problems from things that weren't even real).

When I told her I was getting suicidal etc, she brushed it off as "expected", and encouraged me to keep going. I thought I was doing the right thing by doing what she advised, the whole "it gets worse before it gets better" crap.

 

[Rumors]

@Rumors
Some jobs push numbers. She's young and excited and green. If she's g...

Actually she is not young... She is older. Second career change...or third. And this isn't about her job pushing numbers this is more about her voicing how successful she is.... There is a lot of competition there and need to feel like she is more accomplished. I am the least likely to have been successful of the two of us but found my niche and have done pretty well while she went and "lived" and hasn't accumulated much in life. There is always some sort of score keeping on her part. I just stayed home and worked so in some way I probably missed out on things too, but it was a choice I made and hopefully will allow me to "live" when I retire...
In any case, she has an agenda that is inserted into everything and I feel like one day she will make someone's worst therapist list.

 

[Whyteferret]

Actually she is not young... She is older. Second career change...or third. And this isn't about her job...

@Rumors
Sorry. Didn't mean to step on toes.

Competition can go too far. From what you said it's not healthy

 

[OrganicRobot]

I've a mix of good and bad. My first interactions with a physiologist was bad. He was very rude, condescending and all about the money. He did have good methods don't get me wrong, but he wouldn't listen to my needs. I was having issues with my mother during my teenage years but all he wanted to do was focus on my childhood and father. Which is fine, but my mother was becoming abusive as well, and he wouldn't allow me to concentrate on that. I can't get past healing if I wasn't currently in a stable and healthy environment. But I was young and he was educated with a degree so of course he knew what I needed more than I did.

The second one I saw was a psychiatrist who would sit all the way on the other side of this large room. He didn't have any eye contact and just looked bored as hell. I stopped going to that one because of that, and because my Mom was guilt tripping me about her having to pay for my mental health and issues. Completely ignoring the fact she stayed with my father and allowed him to abuse me for years. She didn't do anything to stop it and divorced him not because of abuse but because he couldn't hold down a job, thus not making enough money to support the family. And she says her verbal, emotional and mental abuse isn't abusive... because she isn't as bad as my father (physical/sexual).

I currently have a good therapist. She's not as structured in her methods but it helps that I have someone to talk to and she keeps me on track.

 

[Ava Jarvis]

I got reported for being suicidal in college. (I did get so from time to time, but this time I wasn't—someone just didn't know any better.) The T called me and told me if I didn't come in he would have me expelled.

If I had been suicidal that would have pushed me over the edge.

Fortunately I pushed after that to see another T, and I never saw that bastard. This was the head of the department apparently. We got nowhere because I was convinced if I told him about my trauma I'd be expelled for getting suicidal. I can really put on an act sometimes.

Since then I've seen mediocre T's. Nothing comes out of these folks unless you drive your own therapy. The first mediocre T I stopped seeing because our sessions were so bland I don't remotely remember them even happening.

The second mediocre T kind of just siphoned me for seven years. Basically I had to drive my own therapy --- which I didn't realize I was doing through writing about my trauma extensively --- and use him for analysis. He was incapable of directing any kind of action.

I saw a case worker. She was nice but didn't understand why I didn't just avoid my triggers. She seemed to blame my behavior for causing nightmares that triggered me --- like, "did you eat anything strange" --- no ma'am I actually can't afford to because I have no money. She didn't understand why I had so many nightmares if I wasn't doing something to cause them.

Anyways. Now I have another T. I see him today for the second time. I have no idea how this will go. He seems nice and proactive. Combined with my tendency to do things about my trauma, this will probably work out. Probably.

 

[WillyKat]

Nothing comes out of these folks unless you drive your own therapy.

I could not agree more. I think that clients / patients (whatever we're called) need to understand that we employ them, they work for us. People tend to treat doctors, dentists, and mental health professionals like they would their boss. It should be the other way around.

 

[Dana1010]

Nothing comes out of these folks unless you drive your own therapy.

Just had to quote this and say, BINGO.

I could not agree more. I think that clients / patients (whatever we're called) need to understand that we employ them, they work for us. People tend to treat doctors, dentists, and mental health professionals like they would their boss. It should be the other way around.

The problem is it takes two to tango. I was begging this last therapist to talk about what I needed to talk about. If someone is determined to not talk about something, they're not going to talk about it. There's always going to be a way to change the subject, steer the conversation, pretend it's uninteresting and they have nothing to add, etc.

 

[Whyteferret]

@Ava Jarvis
It's interesting how we're all different. I tend to be better when a therapist provides structure with me doing a lot of the driving. My current T won't let me avoid stuff too much. But he's new. He's pushing actions and goals . But he has me come up with any idea at all.

lol

 

[StellaBlue]

I am a very firm believer in "no therapy is better than bad therapy". Unfortunately, by the time a lot of folks make it into therapy, they are extremely desperate and very vulnerable and may not recognize bad therapy until after they've been retraumatized or otherwise harmed.

I've had a couple of bad therapists and a couple mediocre ones. One of the mediocre ones referred me to a psychiatrist (who I am convinced she had a crush on). First appointment, he sees me for 15 minutes - during which time he takes a phone call and discusses a patient while I'm sitting there. He then proceeds to prescribe me a cocktail of lithium, Wellbutrin, and Seroquel (found out later, he had diagnosed me as BPD - after about 5 minutes of conversation). After about a week, my depression had lessened but I was having severe panic attacks...so he saw me again for 15 minutes (and HE TOOK ANOTHER PHONE CALL) and he raised all of the doses. I ditched him, the mediocre therapist ditched me and I decided to go med-free and therapy-free for the next year or so.

 

[Whyteferret]

@StellaBlue
Damn, I'm sorry that happened to you. But glad you're free from those two idiots.
Hope you're doing ok