Doing Something Different For Trauma Anniversary?

[Fadeaway]

So... I have a trauma anniversary coming up. This year I have the opportunity to do something a little different. There is a group campout that I would like to attend. I have a list of some pros and cons. I'll start with the cons.

Cons:

• I consider a few of the people going to be friends, but I have only known them about 6 months. They don't know about my trauma history or PTSD. I don't feel comfortable sharing that yet.
• I will be riding with a friend so I won't be able to leave if I get there and change my mind.
• Money is super tight and I need to buy supplies.
• What if I break down crying, have flashbacks or anything else while I am there. As I said, I am not ready to explain any of that to them.

Pros:

• The opportunity to create positive memories to associate with that day.
• It is something I really want to do, and would have few concerns if it wasn't the weekend that my trauma anniversary falls on.
• If I don't go, I fear that I will regret it and end up being in even worse shape that day.
• My husband will get 3 much needed days away from me. LOL
• I get to go out and do something and get away for a few days.

The truth is though I am a bit scared. What do you guys think?

 

[ladee]

I think this is a great idea !! The fact that you really want to go is the deal breaker.. You might confide in the person you are riding with, that that weekend is an anniversary of a difficult time in your life, you don't have to go into detail and that while your plans are to have fun, you may need a few minutes to yourself... But, my feeling is, you will be having so much fun , it may or may not come up, or not as much. Kuddos for breaking the cycle and having good memories for a change. A great idea... I really hope you get to go !!

 

[Changing4Best]

Go! I doubt you will regret it. As to symptoms that could arise, you could maybe explain them away as that it is the anniversary of a sad event in your life, and you want to be distracted from the memory, but don't want to discuss it.

 

[Blackjack]

I agree with Ladee, Go, have a fun time but explain to the person you are riding with that it is a difficult date for you and not something that you wish to discuss but just ask them for their understanding if you do need some private time or need to leave the rest of the group for a while. As you said, it will give you the chance to establish some good memories for that date which is very important. To be honest, it is something that I could do with doing myself to help.

Good luck Fadeaway and hope you manage to go and enjoy the campout

 

[The Albatross]

Cons:

• I consider a few of the people going to be friends, but I have only known them about 6 months. They don't know about my trauma history or PTSD. I don't feel comfortable sharing that yet.
• I will be riding with a friend so I won't be able to leave if I get there and change my mind.
• Money is super tight and I need to buy supplies.
• What if I break down crying, have flashbacks or anything else while I am there. As I said, I am not ready to explain any of that to them.

Refute the cons or create a strategy? Like, okay if I break down or anything else I'll have a plan or strategy and consider it a consequence of my choice to not share my PTSD with people I've only known for 6 months. Or, I will be riding with a friend so I won't be able to leave could be, I can follow in my own car or if I need to leave arrange for someone to come and pick me up. Then "money is super tight"... maybe you can borrow gear in lieu of buying some things?

 

[The Albatross]

Good Pro's by the way. Can you add some more? Like I will be able to get to know my friends better? Except can you reframe the "If I don't go, I fear that I will regret it and end up being in even worse shape that day?" That's a stretch for a pro as it's tinged with anticipatory stress, is conjecture and is fear based.

Come back to "It is something I really want to do... even if it wasn't on or around that day" and make your pro's as accurately believable (for yourself) as possible.

 

[Fadeaway]

Or, I will be riding with a friend so I won't be able to leave could be, I can follow in my own car or if I need to leave arrange for someone to come and pick me up. Then "money is super tight"... maybe you can borrow gear in lieu of buying some things?

Unfortunately, those aren't possible. I do not have a car and my husband just started a new part time job and can not take any days off. Getting a ride was difficult enough. The only people I know that I could borrow from are going and will need their own things.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Last year, I actually told some friends about a trauma anniversary and asked them to come over to my home to celebrate (instead of grieve). I told them I didn't want to talk about it, just have them around. It was the best decision I've ever made - and to this end, I would encourage you to go.