Loving Someone With Ptsd

[Chlo122]

It was sort of gradual... towards the end I could feel he wasn't emotionally there anymore for whateve...

@MandyLou I feel the same way. Plus. When I talked to him the one time I called him he said he needed to be alone and work on himself. The next day he posted a picture on Instagram standing in his kitchen naked making coffee. The person who took the picture was someone in his bed. He lives in a studio. He thought I wouldn't see the picture since I was blocked but my friend found it. I don't even know who this person is. I feel emotionally raped.

 

[Chlo122]

@MandyLou did he ever tell you it was over??

 

[MandyLou]

@Chlo122, no, he didn't tell me it was over verbally but his actions told me. He is a very non-confrontational person... it's his style, he chooses to treat me this way instead of saying anything. Last time he ever texted me was a reply to my text. I asked him if something had changed, he told me, "don't take the distance personally, I am going through some things". It was on 4/11. He didn't say that to reassure me... I think he just said that to appease me and get me to "leave him alone". I do think that there may be someone else in his life and he threw me away because he didn't know what to do, but I don't know.., and I dont want to know.

I am sorry for your experiences... He doesnt deserve you, and you shouldnt be focusing your attention on this guy because he doesnt reciprocate and has moved on from the relationship. Easier said than done but it is the truth and you should focus on yourself and think about yourself.

 

[Chlo122]

@Chlo122, no, he didn't tell me it was over verbally but his actions told me. He is...

@MandyLou that's exactly what my guy said. Told me to not take it personally. Anyways last night he unblocked me on fb and I saw that him and his ex are friends again on there. Go figure huh. Serious asshole. I blocked him and I'm done. Thank you for talking. It helps for sure

 

[MandyLou]

@Chlo122 - yes, absolutely! It's kind of hard not to take it personally when all his actions are directed at you... He talks to everyone else in the world but doesn't talk to you. That has nothing to do with PTSD. He is a jerk, and you're just finding that out, same with this guy. PTSD didn't suddenly make him a cold, distant and uncaring person... I was too busy being in love with him that I didn't see who he really was. I do grieve this... not because of him... but because the person that I so dearly held close to my heart never existed. It's hard to take in but I am constantly reminded of who he really is and that helps. Sometimes loving someone means having your heart crushed... But I better be honest and true to myself than play with someone's heart and pretend nothing happened.

We still do work at the same place. I've arranged my schedule so I won't see him. This asshole dared to approach me, say hi, how are you a few times while he would never respond to any personal communication via text or calling. In his mind... it was all ok. Well, next time he ever dares to come anywhere near me I'll confront him and tell him to stay away from me. I am not going to spend any second of my time on immature boys.

 

[Chlo122]

@Chlo122 - yes, absolutely! It's kind of hard not to take it personally when all hi...

@MandyLou well I sure hope I get to that same point soon. I am glad I re blocked him on fb, but I can't shake my depression :( hopefully soon. Do you ever check up on him on social media? I do it too much

 

[MandyLou]

@Chlo122 - No, I don't check up on him on social media or anywhere else. Like I said, this jerk is not worth a second of my time. I'm an awesome, competent and beautiful person and want someone who will value and love me back.

 

[StarStruck]

Ok. Here is my story. My guy and I were acquaintances before we actually started seeing each other 2 mo...

I am in a similar situation. Do i need to be patient .Do I tell him that I love or what

 

[Kim Bogaczyk]

Tell him you love him and often, even if he says he does not want to hear i . He needs to know you are there for him

 

[Michael0311]

Ok. Here is my story. My guy and I were acquaintances before we actually started seeing each other 2 mo...

As a combat vet with PTSD myself I can say that sometime symptoms come in waves. Before I met my wife I was in a dark place dealing with thoughts experiences and feelings that I wasn't equipped to deal with. I was on the verge of suicide and than my wife came into my life. The first time I ever saw her the storm in heart died out. Four years ago a series of events retriggered my PTSD. She beg me for years to get help and due to my trust issues I didn't feel strong enough to do so. It took her leaving for me to realize that even when we feel weak and broken we still have to keep fighting for those we love. I have pushed my wife away the last few years and now I'm struggling to win her back. I guess what I'm trying to say is that just because he seems distant doesn't mean he doesn't feel the same way about you as you do him. The best thing you can do is let him know you are there for him and support him and just be patient. Being in a relationship with someone dealing with PTSD is certainly difficult but if it's with the right person it's definitely worth it.

 

[StarStruck]

As a combat vet with PTSD myself I can say that sometime symptoms come in waves. Before I met my wi...

Thank you Michael. He actually called me this morning to check on me and because I asked him to so I could hear his voice.He was very short and cold.I was happy until i found out his 13 year old daughter was there for a few days. He told me he shuts down on his family and he is dysfunctional in his house alone.I'm glad his daughter is there to keep him grounded, but I'm really hurting due to him pushing me away.I'm already on an antidepressant during the day and a hypnotic at night.I'm not taking another pill.Mental illness is on the paternal side of my family and I am not going to allow myself to be institutionalized like several of my family members did.I'm already tearful on a daily and I'm tired of being sad.

 

[MandyLou]

@Michael0311,

Yeah, thanks for the advice. I think it’s easy to speak as a sufferer “Oh, I’m just distant because I have PTSD”, and let the supporter just be understanding and abandoning them every time you don’t feel like it. You think that having PTSD gives you excuse of just leaving the supporter alone and just telling them to deal with it. And PTSD should never give you the opportunity or allow you to treat anybody like crap, especially someone who you supposedly love.

Of course you’re struggling to win your wife back… what did you think, seriously? That you would push her away for an extended period of time and she would be comfortable trusting you again? Nope! No matter how you feel, and no matter how the PTSD is affecting you… if you isolate yourself for such extended period of time and constantly push back… just know that the distance sometimes becomes so immense that there is no coming back.

Yeah, I think waiting for someone you love is essential, but I’m not going to wait around for someone who has cut off all communication and whose actions have only demonstrated that he doesn’t care. There is no point in that and the reasons behind it become irrelevant when you are in a relationship and you want a partner… not someone who will abandon you constantly… yes, sad, but very true.