Scared In Dealing With Job Interviews

[SpiritFree]

I am currently unemployed and I'm in the middle of job searching. My issue is when I get a call to set up an appointment for interview. I am unable to respond back to set up an interview. I delay for many hours or just another day or so before I have the strength to cal back. Why?

I guess because I start to get a panic attack due to the fact I fear authoritative figures like supervisors, managers, etc. I just can't handle them. I feel intimidated by supervisors, managers, etc because I suppose they weld power over you. When I have to go to an interview and a supervisor is there, my mouth becomes dry, can't think clearly and my mouth freezes unable to spew out words.

Also I am obese and having an abusive background is not helping so that is a big strike against me. I have no confidence whatsoever in me, I feel I am stupid and ugly. I have been out of job for now 4 years, and I feel completely hopeless.

I have no doubt it is fear and my anxiety that is holding me back. I know it is normal to be nervous about a job interview, but to hold back in preventing having a job interview.

I had one recent interview where the supervisor had her arms crossed, leaning back and swaying on her chair and had a not nice look on her face. I knew she did not like me, and it was a 5 panel interview. I made a fool out of myself.

Has anyone delayed their interview due to anxiety attack?

 

[Justmehere]

I have. I now have to walk to return phone calls. The walking helps burn off anxiety and gets me to make the call.

I also joined a toastmasters club, and it's helping me get over my fear of talking to people I'm scared to talk to and helping my confidence.

I still run and hide in bathrooms and fight back tears after interviews and potential client meetings so I really ca relate to your struggle with this.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Talking on the phone doesnt bother me, its what ive always done for a living but the in person stuff bothers me.

I compartmentalize but i cant tell you how, its automatic.

If you have anxiety meds, take it. If you dont, lay off coffee and soda; coffee makes my anxiety skyrocket. If you smoke, lay off as much as possible as nicotine is a stimulant. Any stimulants lay off of. I have a free app on my phone for anxiety called What's Up (its in google play and iTunes...i searched 'anxiety' to find it, there are many in google play, not so much iTunes but lots of ways to lower anxiety like deep breathing exersises with the visulation/imagine myself floating on my back on water; as an example.

I like taking a walk idea for the call itself!

 

[Roxx]

I am currently unemployed and I'm in the middle of job searching. My issue is when I get a call to...

I am right there with you-what you described is exactly what I am going thru on the daily. You aren't alone, but have faith it will get better. It will work out for both of us. If we don't give up we can never lose! Good luck and God bless you!

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I can't use the phone. Takes me days to call just to change or schedule an appointment let alone something related to job interviews! Some times, since I like to-do lists, I will put it on my list and put a few calls I have to make on the list and just do them all at once. Then, I usually freak out afterwards (even if they've gone well) but then I am done.

In person, I hardly remember my interviews (1. I think I dissociated through most of them (in a DID way so that some personality helped me through) and 2. I had my last job for 11 years so it's been awhile). I don't tend to look people in the eyes at all, but I know it's important. So I know I used to pick a friendly face or a couple if it was a larger group. Then, I would kind of briefly look around, but mostly look towards those anchor people.

I had one recent interview where the supervisor had her arms crossed, leaning back and swaying on her chair and had a not nice look on her face. I knew she did not like me,

The facts here say that the supervisor had her arms crossed, she was leaning back and swaying in her chair. You interpreted her face as having a not nice look on her face and, therefore, concluded she did not like you. You could be perfectly right, but it's not a fact, just the story you mind went to. I would tell myself a similar story, too, because of being abused, I automatically think I am not good enough and therefore something like that would seem to tell me that I am not liked. However, what if you played a different story in your mind. Maybe the not so nice look was because someone pissed her off right before the interview and she couldn't stop thinking about that and didn't even realize she was portraying that look to you. Or maybe she was supposed to be watching her kid play a ballgame or her kid was sick and she really didn't want to be at the interview because she had other things, totally unrelated to you, on her mind. It's hard to tell ourselves different stories and give ourselves a chance. Just thought I would share that with you in case it helps you. If I can remember to change the story, it has helped me in other situations.

 

[EveHarrington]

Can you practice ahead of time so that the interviews don't seem so daunting?

:hug:

 

[SpiritFree]

Can you practice ahead of time so that the interviews don't seem so daunting?

:hug:

I have but it is less useless when I get there. Everything I practice went out the window. I even practice with a person who did hiring and got a feedback from him. Yet like I said once I appear it is like "this is it".

 

[SpiritFree]

I can't use the phone. Takes me days to call just to change or schedule an appointment le...

You have a valid point there JEK, I guess I took it personally because I had people being rude to me from childhood into adulthood. So I assume she hated for me due to the fact it was a 5 panel and I panic. I took it as "why did you request an interview if you can't get your act together. Your wasting our time".

 

[EveHarrington]

Is it possible to apply for jobs you don't even want just to get that "real" experience? It would take more time but maybe it would help.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

because I had people being rude to me from childhood into adulthood.

I can relate and I wish I could wish those reactions away!

 

[SpiritFree]

Well here is some good news and bad news LOL I finally got the courage to call back for an interview schedule. They want to see me tomorrow however I got an appointment tomorrow with my doctor and I can't afford to cancel because I had previously canceled. Anyway, my doc appt is at 10 am and the job interview at 9 am, but I said I won't be able to attend that hour. Then at noon, I said no. This because you know how doctors take their sweet time. I was hoping at least Wednesday, o well. At least I did call back but with anxiety. She did tell me if they pick another date she will let me know (I don't think so)

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

At least I did call back but with anxiety.

Congratulations for calling. Sorry the timing didn't work out for you. The calling is a success though!