The Grocery Store @ 5pm

[gypsysoul]

I had an “in-vivo” (real life) homework assignment for the (prolonged exposure) therapy I am currently doing. The assignment was to go to the grocery store at 5:30pm (one of the busiest times), because that’s an anxiety trigger for me. Yet, I sat outside the store, in my car, watching the massive amounts of people going in and out. Carts distributed throughout the store’s parking lot and all the children dragging behind their parents. I even noticed some “odd” looking individuals which made me suspicious… I ended up talking myself out of going into the store in order to protect myself from the danger that was within. I was literally afraid that if I went into the store, my life would be at risk. I didn’t think it’d be worth leaving the comfort and security of my car (who I’ve named, “Lucy”). When I feel unsafe or anxious, I like to sit in my car, as odd as that sounds… It just feels safe to me. I’m now thinking maybe I shouldn’t have drove in my car since the store is within walking distance but I can’t say for sure that was the determining factor for me not going in. After seeing my therapist, we have lowered the goal some and I will still go at 5:30pm but I’ll be with my boyfriend, which will make it easier for me. I usually go to the grocery store late at night or early in the morning to avoid a lot of people. I’m hoping this exposure works for me, though. Have any of you experienced this anxiety? What has worked for you? If anything… Are you better now? Worse? The same?

 

[Friday]

That's exactly how I do exposure therapy. I don't just jump into huge stressor. I come at it from the edges.

If my goal was grocery store at 530?

First I'd start spending time around the grocery store, probably in my car, possibly in another building, just watching. Keep doing that. Over and over and over. Until I'm bored. Until driving to the grocery store and sitting in my car causes no adrenaline or symptom spike whatsoever. Boredom is key.

Then I'd change things up a bit. Pay really close attention to my body and the level of anxiety. Get out of my car. Walk around the perimeter. Keep doing that. Over and over and over. Until it's boring, too.

Then I'd start moving inward. Pick an empty time of day, if crowds are my issue. Walk in and walk back out. Walk down the aisles and walk back out. Use the bathroom and walk back out. Buy 1 thing. Etc.

Be very careful to notice OTHER issues, light bright flashing lights, noise, etc. And ALSO do exposure therapy on those issues concurrently. Like wearing sunglasses, or drummers earplugs, and gradually accustom myself to those issues as well as the main issue.

^^^^
All of these things done repeatedly, and just hovering at the area of spike! but NOT meltdown, anxiety attack, disassociation, etc. Just ever so barely in the zinging electricity zone. Until the boundary moves. And it's no longer a big deal of any kind to be doing what I'm doing. Then, and only then, to I push further in.

Is it possible to do things fast & dirty? To dive right into a major stressor & trigger panic attack after panic attack after panic attack in a short period of time? (like dozens of times a day, over and over and over, day after day after day). Yep. Sure is. It's also possible to seriously f*ck yourself up doing that, too. As in suicidal, homicidal, delusional, breakdown, heart attack, retraumatization, hospitalized level of f*cked up. Except in rare circumstance, I just really don't see the point to doing things fast & dirty. The risk:reward ratio just doesn't stack up, when taking a few weeks or few months to boil the frog in water carries no risk, and yields the same reward.

 

[Sideways]

Yep - what @FridayJones said!

I totally get inside the car being a safe place. So once I'd nailed getting to the store and finding a park and being okay with that while people and cara were everywhere, I'd move to getting out of the car, moving around the carpark and the shop entrance, not going inside, experimenting with parking my car in different spots (I have a habit of always parking in the same section of the car park, nice and close to a stairway exit (most people can't be arsed with stairs and park near the ramp...I notice that stuff!)...

This issue that you've got is familiar. Very very familiar! And yeah, you're doing great:)

Remember that if boyf dragging you around the store is too much, waiting by the entry for him is still progress. Baby steps. And lots and lots of patience. You've got this!

 

[gypsysoul]

Be very careful to notice OTHER issues, light bright flashing lights, noise, etc. And ALSO do exposure therapy on those issues concurrently. Like wearing sunglasses, or drummers earplugs, and gradually accustom myself to those issues as well as the main issue.

Hmmm... I love this idea! May help keep the stimulation low.

All of these things done repeatedly, and just hovering at the area of spike! but NOT meltdown, anxiety attack, disassociation, etc. Just ever so barely in the zinging electricity zone. Until the boundary moves. And it's no longer a big deal of any kind to be doing what I'm doing. Then, and only then, to I push further in.

I agree... It's like the race of the turtle versus the hare. Thanks for reminding me that it is OK to go slow. Sometimes, I see a goal and just want to be there.

Is it possible to do things fast & dirty? To dive right into a major stressor & trigger panic attack after panic attack after panic attack in a short period of time? (like dozens of times a day, over and over and over, day after day after day). Yep. Sure is. It's also possible to seriously f*ck yourself up doing that, too.

Part of me is thinking that once I go in there (and nothing happens), I'll be able to do it with more ease. My anticipation gets the best of me every time and it's never as bad as what I anticipate, but it's my safe place... The way to keep myself safe is imagining the worse case scenario and preparing myself for it (or in my case, avoiding it).

I notice that stuff!

Meeeeeee too! It's rather exhausting, actually.

Remember that if boyf dragging you around the store is too much, waiting by the entry for him is still progress. Baby steps. And lots and lots of patience. You've got this!

This sounds like a good idea as well! Will def do this if my anxiety peaks when we get there.

Y'all are the best ;)

 

[EveHarrington]

I'm not so sure about jumping from the least busy time to the most busy time of day at the grocery store. Is there a reason your therapist wants you to go at the busiest time of the day? Would ramping up be better? This is the route I went-----increase incrementally instead of total immersion. If I had jumped into a totally chaotic situation I would have regressed instead of progressed.

 

[GrayOwl]

@FridayJones . I couldn't agree more.

I work in a grocery store 2 to 3 nights a week. Midnight until 8 a.m.
We get shoppers until 1ish. Drunks until 3ish.
It's quiet then for about an hour until 4 a.m. ish.
Then we get construction workers, people on their way to work & early risers after 4 a.m.
I work there and don't go in during the day. It's safe. I just don't like the commotion.

To gypsysoul.... I don't really have any advice to give, or add. I just hope it goes well for you.
And hope everything else is getting better as well. Take care. :happy:

 

[SpiritFree]

Being a former sufferer of Agoraphobia, may I suggest going only during the weekends only and drive yourself to the store early morning until you find yourself comfortable. Then again in the week days, again go early morning since there are very little people on the roads and store. Then gradually aim for the afternoon Weekends and Weekdays. Once you feel comfortable go in the evening perhaps. You want to expose yourself and confront those anxiety. The more you confront the better you will overcome.

 

[gypsysoul]

Is there a reason your therapist wants you to go at the busiest time of the day?

Yea... I'm pretty sure my therapist felt bad for jumping into it like that. Everything else was going so smoothly and I was completing my homework assignments with ease, until this one. I didn't even expect that this would occur. So I guess the moral is: you live and you learn lol... I def don't want to traumatize myself.

 

[gypsysoul]

You want to expose yourself and confront those anxiety. The more you confront the better you will overcome.

I couldn't agree more.

 

[Whyteferret]

I tried that with Walmart several times. No go. Left a few carts of food to bolt for the door.

The last time, I almost decked some guy when he startled me. A large man, yelling out to another employee, approaching from the side where I have some loss of peripheral vision. I had stepped away from my cart and was in fighting stance before I noticed he's not a threat. Then I went into a panic attack from hell, bolted from the store, and curled up in a nearby wetlands area.

f*cking never again. I'll stick with Safeway during off times.

 

[gypsysoul]

I tried that with Walmart several times.

Walmart is probably the biggest trigger. Especially trying to find a line to stand in. I too, have left a cart full of stuff... Damn Walmart! With their 30 checkout lanes and 3 cashiers on duty.

 

[EveHarrington]

Walmart is probably the biggest trigger.

I'm not sure why it's always like that at Walmart. 80 lanes and only a few are open.

I'm all for pushing ourselves so that we can function normally in society, but it helps to also recognize situations that add unneeded stress and aggravation------are ok to avoid. We don't need to push ourselves to be able to tolerate every kind of social situation out there. Walmarts prices aren't even all that great.