- Post starter
- #13
I see, so these 2 are not necessarily PTSD characteristics, right?
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Relationship How To End It Without Hurting Him
- Post starter Kimani
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Hi @Kimani , do you know why the other (previous) relationships went badly?
Far as the other questions, I'd say answer them with self-honesty.
You have to be yourself. You can't be anyone else, for someone else. You have to be you. We can try to be more understanding or do better, but we still are who we are.
Far as the other questions, I'd say answer them with self-honesty.
You have to be yourself. You can't be anyone else, for someone else. You have to be you. We can try to be more understanding or do better, but we still are who we are.
- Post starter
- #16
I see, so these 2 are not necessarily PTSD characteristics, right?
Thank you for your time writing back to me. Relationships are complicated and yes I did spend a lot of thinking to understand what was wrong in my previous relationship. But I am here with a different question. Answering the questions with self-honesty is a good suggestion...it is not that I am not honest to myself, I think I am confused. I deserve a better, healthier relationship, but I don't think I can find the connection that I feel with him again if I haven't in the past 2 and a half decades of my adult life. So it is a hard decision.
Now, may I ask you something? (and you don't have to answer) but what does love mean to you? I mean is there an answer to that question? Or do we suddenly find ourselves in love, like, ta da, surprise! Can we ever figure out why we fall in love with one person and not the other? And why is it that when that ta da thing happens any deal breaker that we have had on our "deal breaker list" can not break the deal?
I am new to this forum so please correct or ignore me if my questions and comment are irrelevant to this site.
I am here to learn about what he is experiencing in his brain, understand him better, and find the most smooth and harmless way for both me and him to be whatever we were meant to be for each other.
Thanks!
- Post starter
- #17
I see, thank you!
- Post starter
- #18
I get it:oops: thank you!
I guess love is different to everyone. Love to me is sharing a life, in good times and bad. To share my laughter, sadness,anger,happiness. To learn forgiveness and be forgiven. Someone I can make mistakes with and not judge me, support the lesson to learn. To look at someone and see their beauty, them to see mine. To know your not alone in the hard times and the good. To just say it's ok or nothing at all. To sit in silence and know it's ok. To be respected and give it back. To share dreams, goals,hurt, fear. To expect me for who I am. Someone to say, shit happen in life, but we got this. I'm sure I have more but, I don't want you to fall asleep:) life isn't perfect, people aren't perfect. But love is a journey and it's not perfect , but it's yours:)
- Post starter
- #21
You said it beautifully so I am asking myself how can that happen if he wants to travel by himself, keeps his good news a secret, and there is no hope that we can share a life together. No hope that he can be consistently near me one day even in 5 years from now. I find myself often sad. It is sad to watch him suffer, he is suffering because of his condition and because he can't give me what he really wants to give me. I am suffering for his sadness and for I have no hope that one day we can actually share every moment of our lives. This sadness is really effecting my everyday life. I can't enjoy what I used to enjoy, I can't even eat, lost appetite to every thing. Can't focus to read a page without spacing out...the happy moments are very bright but very short and they always have a sad layer underneath them. I don't know for how long I can take this without really compromising my health.
I also think love is responsibility, we are responsible about each others feelings, I respect him and his feelings and I expect him the same. Not sure if that is exactly happening with all his hidings and hurtful words.
Mytime may I ask if you are a supporter? and thank you again for your beautiful description of love.
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- Post starter
- #22
:) ok see you later
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EveHarrington
VIP Member
Staying up talking all night------I don't think it's a PTSD thing. Then again, I do it whenever I have a strong connection with someone. (Doesn't everyone?!?-----or at least don't they want to? I can imagine being in a relationship without this dynamic, or at least not wanting to get off the phone but real life gets in the way).
Fighting over nothing may be a result of an overflowing stress cup------so may be ptsdcrelated.
Fighting over nothing may be a result of an overflowing stress cup------so may be ptsdcrelated.
- Post starter
- #24
Wow, Junebug! I just learned something! My ex also suffered from PTSD during the last year of us being together! And I did not know that!! I just realized it now reading things here! I didn't know that being diagnosed a lethal illness can also cause PTSD. And he was so so strong. He was diagnosed with a lethal illness and doctors gave him 6 months. The 6 month timing turned out to be wrong, I was his care giver during the hard recovery and he survived but then he couldn't be intimate after that and he was not the same person that I knew before the illness. I took the lack of intimacy as his hormonal change because of very strong chemotherapy. He wouldn't talk to me about those things but once I heard him telling someone else that he has PTSD. I didn't take it seriously back then. One day I came home and he was gone! He left me with the shock and no explanation! Only now I get it! So, that is my story of why the past relationships didn't work. And that was pretty much my only real love/relationship. I had to
Thank you!
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