Do Men "need" Sex, If So, Why?

[anonymous]

I'm curious, do men actually need sex. Or just want it?

And... Why do they need / want it so much?

I'd particularly like men's viewpoints on this, although both genders opinions are of course welcome.

Thanks

- a woman

 

[Joseph King]

I'm curious, do men actually need sex. Or just want it?

And... Why do they need / want it so much?...

Hi,
My answer is both. It depends on the person. Biologically, yes. But frequency of wanting sex seems to depend on peer pressure, learned behavior, and more importantly, a release of hormones to counteract his own issues. This can give him a temporary high.

I hope this helps you,
Joseph :)

 

[scout86]

It might help if you defined what you mean by "need vs want".

 

[anonymous]

A lot of women will say their husband or boyfriend needs sex more than they do.

I would define a need as things like eating, drinking, breathing, sleeping. As a woman, I don't need to have sex, I could easily live without it. I won't suffer if I don't get it.

So... Why do people say men need it?

 

[scout86]

I kind of suspect no one will actually die from lack of sex, it just might seem that way.

Far as that goes, my ex husband seemed like he could live without sex pretty easily. (Something that changed to that way of being after we got married.) So it may not be 100% a gender thing. I didn't die without it but I wasn't real happy living without it either. And the biggest share of that was because it came off seeming like he only cared about himself and what HE wanted and what I wanted, or thought I needed, didn't count. (Ultimately, it turned out that was probably true.)

 

[Joseph King]

It might help if you defined what you mean by "need vs want".

Hi scout86,
Good point. Ok, biologically, from a man's point of view and experience, he biologically needs a release after some time. That release however, can be self pleasure, not cheating or whatever. If a man works around a lot of women (want), compared to working on a pipeline in Alaska, the man's thoughts about sex (need). My personal example is my military time in the middle east, the last thing on my mind was sex. (need) for self gratification is less. Real sex is out of the question. Men working in a stressful environment with mostly other men don't have the (want). Cortisol levels are high and the Amygdala of the brain is on high alert.
I hope this helps,
Joseph
PS: if not msg back plz :)

 

[watundah]

It is a primal need. We are born driven to procreate as are all animals. Psychologically, obviously, we humans complicate everything so it isn't simply driven by hormones. The basic instinct is men want sex (so do women), women want babies.

 

[EveHarrington]

Need to survive? (On an individual level.)

No.

Need to survive? (On a specie level.)

Yes.

Need so that they're not grumpy jerks?

Hell yes! (Although there are hands and toys that can suffice.)

 

[anonymous]

hands and toys that can suffice

Agreed. These should be sufficient, surely?

I feel fine without it, better, in fact. And I know lots of women who feel the same. But.. They compromise....

Why?!?

 

[Virtues]

I wasn't going to post on this thread but now I'm going to. Have you ever heard of the 5 love languages? Probably not, it was a rhetorical question. If your man's love language is physical touch than there is no other act that is more fulfilling, more intimate, to him than sex. Why would you ever want to deny your man that display of affection??? I don't get it. Are you using it as a weapon against him to get what you want??? Are you manipulating him, using sex as some sort of tool???

 

[EveHarrington]

I've asked guys. The response was that it's not as good as the real thing.

I'm the opposite. No guy has ever been as good as the alternative. Then again I end up with selfish guys who only care about themselves in bed it seems. In the end I have to go with the alternative so why not jump right to the chase and literally cut out the middle man? ;) And no relationship drama to deal with, no throwing away major parts of myself for the good of the relationship. I'll stop now lol.

 

[EveHarrington]

@Florian7051

I think you're totally taking this out of context and getting very defensive in the process based on the excessive punctuation.

It was a bit condescending IMHO to ask that love language question and answer for the OP. I can't speak for her but I think she's trying to genuinely figure this out.