Does Anyone Really Relax?

[screen-name]

My therapist wants me to work on really relaxing. He says when I relax that I'm not really every relaxed ... or not like people who don't have trauma.

I don't like the relaxation techniques. I don't like feeling like I'm not aware of the room. I feel like I actually hear more when I'm trying to relax and I become more aware of the area than if I were just normal. He says it'll feel more comfortable eventually and we have a gradual plan.

So, my question is ... are any of you able to put the anxiety aside and completely relax? If so, was it a hard place to get to or will it come more naturally after a short while?

 

[xXRockFiendXx]

I'm glad you put this up. Honestly, I only discovered last year that I really don't relax. I relax more and I relax less but I don't think I've hit a point of complete relaxation. I wonder if other people do or don't. Some nights after praying I do moreso, but dunno if otherwise I am much. I hope the relaxation techniques get less annoying with time! I know breathing exercises recently have been nice, where before they would just mess with my heart rate so maybe it IS a time thing?

 

[Friday]

Yep! But they tend to be adrenaline junkie style activities. :sneaky:

 

[screen-name]

Oh yeah, I can feel relaxed while I'm doing things. That's how I do it too. My therapist wants me to feel ok while being still in a quiet room with my eyes closed.

 

[void]

i have never felt relaxation.
i hope you can.

 

[Friday]

That's how I do it too. My therapist wants me to feel ok while being still in a quiet room with my eyes closed.

The entire ADHD community -and half the autism spectrum- just looked at your therapist & collectively shuddered.

I will say its extremely valuable to learn how to back down, self soothe, and relax on command or on the fly. But what relaxation looks like? Is going to be different for different people. Finding ways that don't annoy other people is valuable. Finding ways that I can pull out of my pocket as needed -no adrenaline fueled freedom for miles- is valuable. But the idea that sitting still would ever not involve huge amounts of will power, concentration, and effort? In fact be the opposite of relaxing? :hilarious: Yeah. Not gonna happen.

 

[EveHarrington]

Agreed------

Eyes closed would be hell for me. I can't relax this way unless I'm in sleep mode.

We all have different ways of relaxing. I think that the idea of relaxation involving lounging with eyes closed is quite cliche------not for everyone.

By these standards, I'm incapable of relaxing because closing my eyes spikes my anxiety.

And to me these skills clash----- typical meditation says to close our eyes but true grounding means keeping our eyes open (fully connected to the here and now)-------but both are "relaxing"-----? Not quite. Maybe I'm not being clear but my point is that skills aren't one size fits all. Find what works for you.

 

[Sighs]

Google "moving meditation". My vet does archery, long range rifle shooting, rides (fast) horses and snowboards. All of those things relax him. Tell him to sit still in a quiet room? Pfffffftttttt!

 

[sedna]

My therapist wants me to work on really relaxing. He says when I relax that I'm not really every re...

Nothing agitates me more than any kind of mindful meditation attempts and techniques from a therapist when I'm anxious or having multiple triggers overwhelm me.

It took a long time ( too long ) before I finally learned to firmly say " that doesn't work for me, no I am not open to it and you're just pissing me off ".

A lot of that stuff is useful in helping you maintain a good place and grounding when you're already in it. If you've left it, then it's like a scary clown approaching the crying kid at a party to cheer him up, the louder he cries....the more the clown looks psycho and just needs to F*** the Hell off.

Exercise, but don't call it that. Go out and be outside alone and walk or swim somewhere outside until you burn off the anxiety if you can.

If that's not possible do whatever else makes you feel better that's not self destructive, and don't worry about what anyone else thinks about it.

 

[Go Hungry]

I have been completely relaxed at times, but it usually involves herbal remedies. Otherwise, the most relaxed I've ever felt was just floating in the water. I haven't done it in decades (no pool) but it worked.

 

[Gamera3000]

A combination of always being on edge from PTSD and having a neurological condition where I'm constantly trying not to fall over keeps me constantly very tightly wound. I hate it when I'm at a doctor's office and they tell me to relax something. I'm like, "I am." They say I'm not and will flop around and even slap the body part (shoulders, leg, whatever) in an attempt to get it untense. Nope.

Once someone got me a massage and I DID become completely relaxed. I was so messed up that I couldn't walk or drive home. No thank you. I'll just stay completely wound up. Keeps me walking and keeps people from sneaking up on me.

 

[screen-name]

Yeah I'm on guard all the time too. Lately I have started waking up prepared to fight whatever noise is around, for many years I would be able to sleep through sounds. I doubt I'm sleeping well right now. He would like me to relax past that point at least.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that doesn't even relax when attempting to relax.