Life Is Just Too Much

[Forgiven1]

I feel a bit guilty about posting about myself because I read and try to support others on the foru...

Don't feel guilty for being honest with your feelings. Depression brings on a host of problems including guilt. When you can't see the outcome of a situation, it doesn' mean you are hopeless or your circumstances won't ever change. It's simply a call to remember the one who is really in charge. I'm a believer of Jesus Christ and I struggle with PTSD along with bi-polar disorder. I've been on medication over 30 years, hospitalizations, suicidal ideation, loss of jobs, some caused by my mental state, some not, and I've never gone hungry or lacked shelter. Remember your perceived weakness is your biggest strength. You mentioned you can't find a job in your field. Obviously you have skills. You have a husband. You have the ability to love. You have children. You have the gift of being a mother. You are rich indeed.Sometimes we just need someone else to remind us when we're in that state of mind. You are not here by mistake, and your life has purpose and meaning! I will pray for you and your family and remember this is just a season, an episode in life... This too will pass. God bless you!

 

[Souless]

Hi, it's my first post here. When you say you are taking your meds, I won dered if you could be more specific?..as in what, how much, when? and also is this the first time you've 'crashed' on them?....believe me I know the anxiety is three fold when we have children. I'm alone with mine and very much aware that the USA are dealing 'medication wise' far more successfuly than the UK. Money is a 'triple wammy' we cannot manage without it so it's hardly surprising your anxiety levels are 'through the roof'..mine often are, triggered by money, let alone anything/everything else. Take Care Honey and let's really hope the UK act in a positive way to treat this condition. They do not seem have done so, thus far. My GP actually told me to go away last week and never go back, great so now I have to try and find another GP. It's easy to say, but hang on in there and you are certainly not alone x

 

[Gadgie]

Quote.........."My GP actually told me to go away last week and never go back,"

Geez! I never knew they could do that unless they had a really good reason? Can you just transfer to another G.P from the same practise, or was your last G.P a one doctor practise?

I changed over to another doctor within the same practise, as the other one just didn't listen to me, and gave me the impression that he didn't care!

At least the new one is more approachable and actually talks to me, and is willing to explain things to me, he is a lot better.

 

[SoSadGuilty]

I'm 42 years old and my husband is almost 51 and I feel like I / We are a failure. I look around me and most couples our age have 2 cars, a house, a holiday at least once a year and at least some disposable cash. Also my peers seem to have good solid jobs and have worked themselves into relatively senior positions. I've just lost my job and probably my entire career because there are no jobs available in my field. It makes me feel like crap but I'm in the position of having to look at graduate / entry level jobs and not only to look at them but to grovel for them. I have a BSc and an MSc but they are literally worth nothing to me right now

My husband has a PhD, he went back to Uni 7 years ago to try to upskill yet somehow he is also in the position of being unwanted. He is finding it hard to even get interviews despite his educational achievements and research work. We have three kids, I feel like we have failed them by not succeeding better in life. I've been struggling with this stuff for some months now but it really hit me today that I feel like a deadbeat. Useless, washed up and broke. I'm tired of struggling, of fighting for every tiny thing and I'm scared how much worse this will be if we are both on benefits by September. I just don't know if I can keep going, I keep wishing I was dead as I feel so depressed and anxious all the time. I can't even show real interest in my kids or how they are doing. I feel like I have doomed them to a life of drudgery and poverty as there is no way we can pay for them to go to college. I feel guilty for having kids at all because if I had known how crappy life would be I wouldn't have had them.

 

[Souless]

Quote.........."My GP actually told me to go away last week and never go back,"

Geez! I never knew they...

Hi, thanks for your reply. Since I returned to the UK the only GP that bothered with me and showed any empathy left the NHS and went in to Private practice. The GP that took over from him (this is in 2012) was female and just cut of my Diazepam 2mg (safety net), never abused it or took it every day so I moved Drs and I figure she 'flagged' me as a drug seeker. I'm not. We moved house and therefore had to change to a new practice and I have seen, now all GP's there and none of which I have met care for dealing with any kind of any mental problem. They kept putting me on SSRI's, which do not agree with me and now it's either demand to see my records or yes, move practices..again. I did over six years in the 'talking therapys' including CBT, EMDR etc. None helped. It does not surprise me after these last four years back in the UK that people start 'self medicating'. Trying to explain the havoc PTSD does to your entire system to someone who has never experienced any thng close is like me sitting and chatting to my dog about it, but she understands better and my cats already know!

 

[Gadgie]

Aye! the NHS doesn't seem to cater for people with mental health problems at all? I was on a waiting list for two years for therapy for my PTSD, and only had a few sessions, before I was dropped?

The therapist had been told to cut her list, and as she said I wasn't "responding quick enough, and had too "many issues" going back over "too much time" I was dropped?

I haven't had any help ever since, despite asking my GP, all he can do is put me back on the waiting list?

 

[SoSadGuilty]

Aye! the NHS doesn't seem to cater for people with mental health problems at all? I was on a waiting lis...

Bloody hell, dropped off the list for too many issues going back too far? Do any of these people actually know anything?

 

[Souless]

Aye! the NHS doesn't seem to cater for people with mental health problems at all? I was on a waiting lis...

Yeah, apparantly 70% of UK population who have PTSD are receiving no treatment. It's a personal question but you don't have to be specific, how do you manage? and do they just chuck SSRI's at you?

 

[Gadgie]

That's what I thought at the time, you would think that I would be the one to keep on the list, as I needed more help?

PS. what are SSR's?

 

[Souless]

Bloody hell, dropped off the list for too many issues going back too far? Do any of these people ac...

They don't want to know

 

[mamachick]

I am sorry you are feeling so bad about this. I don't think you are alone. It seems that many people, including myself, are not where we wish to be at this point in our lives. It is scary when it is time for kids to attend college and not only do you not have a college fund, have no retirement saved as you have lived just getting by and without the extras. My kids did get through school with my help. I was still hopeful when I was doing what you are doing now (raising kids). Now that they are all gone and finished college and Im past menopause and am disabled, I feel very hopeless. I know you are not deadbeats. I hope that you can find the positive that you have done as proof of that.

I do understand how you feel. I feel very useless now, with physical problems and nothing but a burden to all.

 

[Souless]

That's what I thought at the time, you would think that I would be the one to keep on the list, as I nee...

Those so called most recent anti depressants, serotonin reuptake bla blas that, in my opinon do shit. Examples, Prozac, Seroxat, Venaflaxin (scuse spellings errors)..mostly any anti depressant given out in UK is an SSRI..what does not make sense to me is they are very expensive so good for large PHARMA, no good for us and benzos are a quarter of the price and actually WORK. The GPS argue that benzos are highly addictive but forget to mention so are SSRI's ..making sense, no?..because it dosen't. Unfortunately for us UK citizens our well fare is not on the agenda. So I fnd it hard to sign petitions about keeping our NHS when our NHS is governed by NICE guidelines that are detrimental to the citizens of our Country. Our Vets don't make mistakes on the scales they do. Leaves you wondering if it's safer to take unprescribed medication, hence the ludicrous NPS ACT. What? 600 deaths in a year because kids were mixing stuff with stuff but oh now alcohol 8000 deaths in a year (probably more) is safe. Makes my blood boil. Allegedly Parliament pledged last week to more funds in to mental health care..great, bit late for all the suicides of persons who had their benefits cut by the Tories that the DWP will still not release figures for.