Sexual Assault Rape Stereotypes

[LilSam]

First of all I would like to say that I, in no way, intend to offend any reader by posting this thread.

I feel it's unfair that female > male rape is less known and stereotypically people know rape as a guy raping a girl. Sometimes it's the guy who is the victim. I don't understand why this stereotype is there, maybe it's because women used to have no to few rights (as far as I know in the UK) and they used to have safer jobs rather than 'male jobs' such as the army, police force, etc.

I think that generally the stereotype is that rape happens to a girl in a dark alley, rather than a guy in a bedroom being overpowered by a girl and forced do to things he doesn't want to. My point is that female > male rape happens a lot more than everyone thinks and it scars like hell, possibly it's even worse because the other guys will either laugh or complain that the guy is not 'appreciating' the fact that he had sex. It wasn't sex though, it was rape but they don't see the difference. Not sure what I'm saying tbh, it was just a thought. :/

 

[vixy]

I agree completely. It makes me so mad to see it happening.

 

[anonymous]

I think it is immensely unfair that many people do not even realize a woman is capable of raping a man. To the layman, anatomically speaking, it seems nonsensical to many who don't understand sexual assault.

It is also very unfortunate that many people have a limited idea of how rape happens. A stranger targeting and victimizing someone--man or woman--is less likely than being raped by someone you know, are close to, and even trust.

However, it is not mysterious to me that most people think of women as rape victims and not men. First of all, all rape is gravely under reported, but male victims are very unlikely to report because of the cultural misperception that men cannot be raped by women. Second, men are far more likely, statistically speaking, to be violent criminals, just as adults are more likely than children are to be violent criminals. Does this come from enduring power structures? I think so.

If it makes you feel any better, I know three men who were victims or near-victims of rape, though one was victimized by a man, not a woman, and two were young children.

 

[vixy]

The sooner people realize that anyone can be a victim and survivor of rape or sexual assault regardless of age, gender, sexuality, religion or anything like that the better. The stereotyping needs to change. In fact it needs to be gone completely

 

[BradyLady]

There was an episode of SVU not too long ago that dealt with this topic. A female parole officer was sexually violating a man who was supposed to report to her for his drug testing. When he spoke up, she planted evidence in his apartment and had him arrested. In the end justice was done, but I found the episode disturbing. Even so, I'm glad they brought it up and dealt with it fairly and realistically.

I also knew a man who had been sexually abused as a child, and his mother didn't believe him. He had to be making up stories because "it only happens to girls." Yeah, bullsh....

 

[anonymous]

Male on male rape is also a thing.

 

[anonymous]

Same with female perpetrating rape on females.

 

[LilSam]

Male on male rape is also a thing.

I know, I brought up specifically female > male rape as it happened to me.

 

[vixy]

Anyone can rape anyone and regardless of who it is it needs to stop

 

[Suzetig]

I'm not sure about stereotypes to be honest, anyone I know working in the area of sexual assault or abuse understands the complexities of both victimology and perpetrators. How widely that's the case with the general public, I don't know - most of my social circle comprises of people who get the existence of female : male abuse and same sex abuse too.

What I think I'm hearing is that you feel your experience isn't reflected enough for you to have a place for it, that somehow your experience was less than the offence caused by male : female rape? The violence against women agenda shouldn't diminish the experiences of men who are victimised but culturally I know that can happen. I guess male : female rape is better researched and understood because even with high levels of underreporting, it's still way more prevalent.

I'm sorry that you were raped, you didn't deserve that and I hope you are able to heal.

 

[EveHarrington]

Unfortunately there are a ton of stereotypes when it comes to trauma and PTSD. You can choose to let it make you upset. You can choose to accept that this is how some people think-------> radical acceptance. You can also choose to change popular perception, one person at a time.

 

[hodge]

@LilSam, I so admire your courage in speaking out about what happened to you. It was wrong, wrong, wrong. But you are making something positive out of your horrendous experience . . . raising all our awareness of the fact that this happens to men, too, and it breaks my heart. but we all need to be aware of the fact that this happens. So, thank you for being your courageous self :-).