Got Pulled Over By A Cop :(

[Deleted member 12723]

I agree with everyone who wrote a response. You need to be paying more attention and focus on safe driving. You can learn from this mistake.

I sometimes smoke in the car when driving but I always keep a hand on the wheel. Mostly I just usually smoke when I am parked at a store or whatever and not smoke while I am driving. I used to be able to smoke and drive safely but now I have to be safe more than the need to smoke.

I wish you the best with your car because it may need attention.

 

[Smile]

Thanks for all the advice. This is just all too much to handle.

@Lucycat , what if I had hit a toddler?? Really?!? Why do u think I'm always scared of my driving?!? It's bc I may hit someone... I don't care about myself or my stupid car. I'm my own harshest critic, please don't.

I've been smoking in my car for over 10 years... No problem. It's not the cig that's the issue. I feel my attention wandering too much when I drive. I veer into other lanes, only slightly but enough to get honked at and have my heart jump into my throat.

I have so many scrapes on my car and I don't know where 98% of them are from. Just hitting curbs, poles, etc.

Had a guy hit me from behind 2 months ago and had a mild TBI. Was totally his fault legally but in my head there's a voice saying I could've avoided it.

No, I don't feel as safe in my car as I used to. Been staying holed up past few days. But... I guess it'll pass.

If I was told I'm truly a danger to others I wouldn't drive.

 

[hodge]

Smile, I have some bad days where I know I should not drive. I get dizzy sometimes from overstimulation. It can just come from a phone call or a visit with a friend. Or sometimes I feel dissociated. My therapist wonders if it's the same thing. I don't know. But, either way, I avoid driving when I'm like that. And if it's a desperate situation, like being out of a med, I'll ask my husband or my next-door neighbor to drive me, but I am really careful to not overdo that, especially with my neighbor.

I've been learning to get into the habit of planning ahead and running errands when I'm feeling relatively good and safe to drive whenever possible, because I've become even more easily overstimulated since my husband's heart attack in May, which leads to dizziness and/or dissociation. I take regular stock every couple days of my meds, fridge and pantry and make to-do lists everyday which help me to remember to run out and get stuff when I feel most able to. Does it suck to have to make this adjustment? Yes, it sucks. But that's PTSD.

I hope this helps.

 

[Smile]

Smile, I have some bad days where I know I should not drive. I get dizzy sometimes from overstimulation....

Thank you. I'm sorry for ur husbands heart attack :(
I live on my own, have no one to run errands for me. My one sibling who lives in the same state as me is sick and I wouldn't ask for help.
But this is what I wanted. Independence. Guess I get the good with the bad.

But yes, this is something I will bring up at my next T session.

 

[hodge]

Thank you, Smile. He's doing really well, but I fell down, psychologically, once I felt assured he was going to be okay. My therapist and psych call it a new trauma.

Sounds like a really good plan to talk about this with your T! Best wishes!!

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Smile I think that the ones that worry about you hitting a child are doing the "what if" thing. Sometimes with PTSD people do this. I don't think any harm was meant by the remarks.

I really think that using this this whole thing as a learning experience (instead of ruminating or beating yourself up) is the way to go. Nothing bad happened, so learning from it is a healthier way to go.....

 

[Justmehere]

Maybe working on some mindfulness skills will help the attention issues? Mindfulness is all about being present in this moment now, able to effectively respond to what is happening right now - something all people need to be able to do in order to drive safely. It can be practiced without even getting behind the wheel, and anywhere you are, at any time. It helped me a lot when I was re-grouping myself to be able to handle driving again.

So sorry you were rear ended! The TBI from that could be playing a role in the attention difficulty as well. I hope you find something that helps. :hug:

 

[shimmerz]

When they put me on SSRI's I was a totally idiot in a car. I have always been a great driver. The drugs completely screwed me in that way. Ticket after ticket. It was insane.

I would NEVER tell any government body about my issues with the car. They could give a crap. However, I did voluntarily stop driving for a year or a bit more because I didn't feel like I was paying enough attention. Once the SSRI's were done and the craziness of my initial trauma processing over, I gave it a whirl again. I am fine now.

I always thought it better to just not drive than have someone revoke my license. Not sure if that is an option for you or not. You don't want your car to be yet another source of trauma for you, right?

 

[joeylittle]

I'm always in my car. Is my safe haven. I love in it for long periods of time. Now I'm scared of it. Well, not of the car, but of me driving it.

From this sentence in your OP, I never would have known that you are having other problems with driving the car, as you say, here:

It's not the cig that's the issue. I feel my attention wandering too much when I drive. I veer into other lanes, only slightly but enough to get honked at and have my heart jump into my throat.

So, I can understand why you got some harsh responses before you provided more info.

It sounds like you shouldn't be driving right now, until you can sort out your attention span. It's not worth taking chances with, truly.

And for the times you can't get there some other way, try driving as if you have a cop behind you; or, as if you are taking a driving test. Both hands on the wheel, at 10 and 2, signal in advance of turns, no radio, look both ways, full stop at stop signs, the whole 9 yards. Heck, get a sign that says 'student driver on board', if it's legal in your state; people will stop tailgating you.

Another trick can be to narrate your journey as you take it - just say out loud everything you see and hear, kind of like a nature film announcer. Sounds a little silly, but can really help the mindfulness. Also keeps speeding tendencies in check.

Overcompensate, when you are behind the wheel. And just keep working on everything that you are working on in therapy. It will get better. But there's really no shame in driving carefully, and it doesn't need to take away your freedom. You need to seriously up your awareness and habits, is all.

 

[Neverthesame]

Another trick can be to narrate your journey as you take it - just say out loud everything you see and hear, kind of like a nature film announcer. Sounds a little silly, but can really help the mindfulness. Also keeps speeding tendencies in check.

Very good idea. I do this.
I hate driving, I'm a nervous wreck behind the wheel.

Having a mantra of all the things I need to pay attention to really does help.

Especially when the other mantra is "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die....."

 

[EveHarrington]

I think if you have a ton of bumps and dents and scratches on your car and you have no idea where they came from, it may be a good idea to assess if you really are ok with driving.

I think if your mind is wandering and you're veering into other lanes and getting honked at, then you are putting yourself and others into danger. (Compared to someone who is always vigilant on the road and doesn't have issues with their mind wandering away.)

I think it would be a good thing to talk about with your therapist. It's better to be proactive vs having your license revoked by a third party------getting it back may be a nightmare.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Personally..... I think everyone is getting upset over nothing. Nothing happened. He took his hands off the wheel, he didn't veer off the road for no reason. He didn't hit a child. No one knows if he has dents, scratches or bumps on his car. He wasn't disassociating. He did something stupid and careless that was caught. No action needed, and was told if he wasn't safe to drive, then don't.

The what ifs, the maybes, the maybe you shouldn't be driving in this thread(IMO) is unfounded and just plain unhealthy. Nothing happened!!!!! And the what ifs???? Well what if the world was going to end in 20 minutes? What if California fell into the ocean? IMO the what ifs are unhealthy leading to anxiety over nothing!!!!! When something does happen, well then it's time for anxiety and action to fix it.