Sexual Assault Was I Raped? Please Help

[rosieek]

In December 2015, there was this boy I met at Macy's. I knew he thought I was cute and he invited me over to smoke. Being naive I went with him... We were just chilling and he was all over me and I didn't want him to be, but I didn't say anything. I felt like I had to. We were about to have sex and I told him to put on a condom. He didn't listen to me. I didn't say anything. I had sex with him three other times after that, the third time I told him I didn't want to have sex with his cousin in the room. He kept on saying okay but his cousin was just posted up in the closet. Eventually he just put it in. I didn't say anything but I kept on saying no before. He then pulled out and asked me if I wanted to have sex again. I said no but he didn't listen and just put it back in. I didn't say anything or try to push him off. His cousin was just sitting in the closet watching with the flash on his phone on. I left his house immediately after, crying. But I had sex with him again a few days after, because I felt like I had to...

 

[rosieek]

I wasn't drugged but I was high. I was 15 and he was 17.

 

[EveHarrington]

Yes, it was rape. You told him no and he didn't listen.

:hug:

 

[Naoru]

I said no but he didn't listen and just put it back in.

Yes, this is rape.

I'm sorry you are going through this. :hug: Please see a therapist if you can.

 

[Lucycat]

I can't say whether or not you were raped. However clearly this incident is bothering you, so you do well to seek professional help and counselling to work through it.

Is it legal to have sex in your country at age 15?
Is it legal for him at 17 to have sex with a 15 year old?

Just wondering if you are venturing into the realms of statutory rape on age grounds - here in the UK it would be overlooked as the ages are so close. But I don't know the law where you are.

 

[Lucycat]

the third time I told him I didn't want to have sex with his cousin in the room.

This is not quite the same as saying I don't want to have sex.

This is why I see it as unclear

 

[EveHarrington]

This is not quite the same as saying I don't want to have sex.

She states that he asked to have sex again and she said no but he did it anyway. This is definitely rape.

 

[Nilrath]

I think that instead of arguing the semantics of rape, it might be better to look at the subjective experience that the OP experienced.

What's important is how that event made you feel. If you feel like you've been raped and have to ask yourself if you've been raped, then yes, you were probably raped, based on what you told us. There was a clear "no" given, and he didn't listen to that.

 

[Lucycat]

I think that instead of arguing the semantics of rape

I totally agree. The OP needs help with this whatever.

 

[Abstract]

rosieek, what he did was very wrong and it looks like he might have done it before from the whole cousin in the closet thing. I hope you can get a therapist and talk this through. Its also worthwhile looking at if you have any family things affecting your boundaries. Sometimes dysfunctional or neglectful family make us feel like we have no right to a voice. You do have that right so well done using it to discuss this here with us. Its a great step.

 

[Stickler]

You said no. He did not stop. That was rape.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

yes that was rape.