I asked this question a few months before my daughter was born in 2013.
Several years later with no/almost no contact I am the absolute happiest I've been, and grown in leaps and bounds.
I have found it close to impossible to grow as a person when I am around those from my past, it's like there's a subconscious comparison of old and new me, and unwillingness of some to let the new me grow and exist.
Dear gods above, life is sooooo good without them. When I cut off my father, a chain reaction saw every other relative bar a sibling and a second cousin cut off.
My mother got a second chance, blew it and got drop kicked out the door with a well deserved, viciously but truthfully worded savaging. She was found with a picture of my daughter as her fb profile a few months later, and received an absolute savaging again until she took it down.
You will not recognise who is healthy for you until you step away from everyone and draw a line. Savagely cull anyone that steps over it without your permission, then reassess in 6 months. If they try to understand, you can try again slowly, but even those who try may be so self centred that you may have to stay away again.
Search for "how to keep ties with a toxic person and not be poisoned".
Answer? You only have one chance at life. Choose who you want to "waste" it on carefully.
I have come to the realisation that I'm sick of pleasing others. I coexist, but I pour my love into myself and my family now, and raise my child with the knowledge that she is part of our chance not to ruin the planet.
I have to be able to look my innocent little girl in the eye and be accountable, and standing directly behind her is my inner little girl, who needs the same.
You are worthy of love, seeing beauty unmarred by bad memories, and to laugh, live, cry, and hurt without others sucking that privilege from you. It's yours. Keep it.
And dear God, life is soo good, soooo very very very good without my parents and relatives.
*skips through field of flowers and falls asleep with fluffy puppies*
