BPD Why are people with borderline personality seen as bad people?

[PTSDfree]

My mom had BPD and she was a total psycho. I think you'll be ok as long as you're willing to get treatment tho. It took her a long time to get to that point and she never had treatment (aside from taking Prozac for like two weeks).

 

[lostforgottensoul]

My mom had BPD and she was a total psycho.

I think its good to remember that back when we were growing up, mental illness and the treatment for mental illness was completely different. Way more stigmatized. I didnt want to go to a "shrink"...i wasnt "crazy like that" as close back as early 2000s. So back in the 90s, 80s, 70s...the further back you go the more stigmatized it is and the less encouragement to get treatment from Society and the more "suck it up" you get. Being on Prozac was seen as being "weak" in the 90s and 80s.

I think thats good to remember when thinking of a parent that didnt get treatment, self medicated, and tried to handle it on their own (which would make me "psycho" if i had to do this on my own), DBT wasnt known either back then, so they had nothing at that time to handle it on their own.

Im not trying to excuse anything but it is just good to keep in mind of what it was like back then.

 

[sun seeker]

My mom had BPD and she was a total psycho.

As are some people with PTSD. Doesn't mean we all are. I don't want to discount your experience, I'm sure it was horrible. But correlation does not imply causality. There are a lot of factors involved.

 

[shimmerz]

You know, I am not too keen on the word psycho being thrown around. What does that even mean?

 

[PTSDfree]

I think its good to remember that back when we were growing up, mental illness and the treatm...

True. I can see why it would've played a role in hers getting worse. Her parents (my grandparents) only sent her to church counseling a couple times when she was a teenager. She did not go on Prozac until she was about 25 and living with my dad. After that, she showed zero interest in getting help and preferred to drink all day instead. I was born in 2000, btw.

You know, I am not too keen on the word psycho being thrown around. What does that even mean?

...[/QUOTE]
Nutty enough to even consider justifying her abuse and warping reality to make it seem as if others were abusing her with extreme mood swings to top it off. My dad and I talked to several mental health professionals after she killed herself, and while they did not help me with my PTSD, they definitely confirmed that she had it. It was good to know that there was a name for how she was. She was completely unable to see the world from someone else's perspective and did not take into account how others might feel. You'd say she was psycho too if ya had to trade places with me as a toddler.

 

[shimmerz]

You'd say she was psycho too if ya had to trade places with me as a toddler.

We might be at odds with that one Belle. I would be careful who you asked to trade places with on this site.

Look, there are a ton of people here with BoPD. You are basically calling them psycho. BoPD's have a hard enough time. I don't think they need a new (degrading) name to go along with their official diagnosis. And quite honestly, psycho has nothing to do with BoPD, at least not the last time I looked in the DSM. It sounds as if you are perpetuating the uneducated dogma that goes with this (and other) mental health diagnosis. It is offensive.

 

[PTSDfree]

We might be at odds with that one Belle. I would be careful who you asked to trade places with on thi...

My last two sentences (that were not quoted by @lostforgottensoul) mentioned that I think BPDs will probably be ok as long as they choose to get treatment, and that my mom never really bothered with it aside from taking Prozac for around two weeks. If my mom had not had BPD or at least chosen to consistently get treatment, I can guarantee to you that she would've not been like that.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

that were not quoted by @lostforgottensoul

Because that wasn't my point.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I think BPDs will probably be ok as long as they choose to get treatment, and that my mom never really bothered with it aside from taking Prozac for around two weeks. If my mom had not had BPD or at least chosen to consistently get treatment, I can guarantee to you that she would've not been like that.

I think what @shimmerz is trying to say (and correct me if Im wrong) is treatment or not, BPD isn't "psycho". That is a stigmatized term. Its not a term in which discribes but one in which demeans generally. Not saying you are, just advising of the term in general.

 

[joeylittle]

That is a stigmatized term. Its not a term in which discribes but one in which demeans generally. Not saying you are, just advising of the term in general.

True, and fair. We also don't have a rule about it - just wanted to make that clear on the thread.

And quite honestly, psycho has nothing to do with BoPD, at least not the last time I looked in the DSM.

Well, psychosis can accompany it.

But I understand your point. I don't think @DissociativeBelle meant 'psycho' as short for 'psychoactive' or 'psychotic'; ever since the film 'psycho', we tend to associate the term as negative slang for 'psychopathic', aka 'evil, crazy, psycho-killer wrong'. And in a mental health community, it's better to have more awareness about how we label mental illness.

I think it circles back to why there's an unhelpful stigma around Borderline, though. It's in many ways the same as the kinds of assumptions people make about PTSD (I think what the average person imagines a flashback to be like, or how it's portrayed in media), DID (like sybil?), bipolar (like Robin Williams? Mood swings?), schizophrenia (schizo!!!), etc., etc. Hell, I wish people didn't say 'lame' as a slang synonym for 'extra-pathetic', or 'retarded' as slang for 'extra-stupid'. Those are medical designations gone wrong, too. All you can do is speak up when it matters to you, and maybe (in the bigger picture) try and give a little education to the people in your real-world spheres about this kind of stuff.

I don't think any of this should invalidate @DissociativeBelle's experience of growing up with a borderline parent who was not getting any help, though. Really, it's just the worst kind of tragedy, I think. I'm sorry for your mom, @DissociativeBelle, and I'm very sorry for you as well, for how her illness affected you.

/ramble. Sorry, more than a little scattered today.

 

[Panda Bear]

My sister and my mother are both BPD and neither wish to do a thing about it

Sadly, because of my life with them, I
a bit freaked out by it. But in my conscience mind, I KNOW that not all two people are alike. I'd never want someone to judge my PTSD as a horrible disaster or monster and I won't judge others who have BPD.

In fact, what I do know and have experienced. Makes me very sad, because it's a tough disorder and requires constant work. I admire those who work had to make their lives better for themselves and so wish it didn't have such a bad wrap.

But yes, it's scary to some who have been hurt by a lovedone with untreated BPD

 

[Sideways]

My sister has BPD, and as personality disorders are a 'pervasive way of viewing yourself and the world', what that means is basically the way she views herself and the whole world is considered 'mentally ill'. That in itself is pretty tough. Someone telling me that the way I understand existence makes me mentally ill? That I have to change the way I see, interpret, and react to everything and everyone? I don't know that I'd like that too much. And being able to front up to treatment to change who I am? That's a big call. Because personality really is a very big part of who we are as individuals, and telling someone their personality needs fixing...urgh. That's pretty awful.

And I'm the first to put my hand up for my sister and say that yeah, she suffers a lot pf pain and emotional turmoil as a result of her personality 'disorder'. It's really tragic watching her tear apart the relationships that mean the most to her.

But I also see the flip side. I see the years of hell that she just tortured my mum. The emotional dysregulation, even when you know that's what it is, still came out as emotional abuse. And when she was enraged, occasionally physical abuse.

So on the one hand, when someone tells me "I have BPD", I think it's brace for them to even acknowledge that the mental health community has classified who they are as a disorder, and I know that behind that diagnosis is a person in a lot of pain. By the same token, when I hear someone say something like, "BPD's are difficult/bad/toxic/etc", I get where they're coming from and I really struggle to hold it against them.

Mental illness impacts mostly on the sufferer, as a sweeping generalisation. But BPD is one of those mental illnesses where, sometimes, I do wonder if maybe it can be just as painful for the people around them.

Idk, but I think we have a long way to go in understanding BPD. DBT is a major breakthrough, but we have a long way to go. A long long way. So far, most people with BPD don't get the kind of treatment requires to make major, timely headway with their recovery. And the mental health community itself, and the stigma that comes from inside the very profession set up to help those with a mental illness continues to be one of the biggest issues.

Sadly, in part that is emotional exhaustion. People like mental health nurses having to deal with BPD on the frontline, without adequate resources or training, for example. The system really lets everyone down: sufferers, supporters, and professionals alike.