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No Physical Abuse? No Problem!

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Casey_03

Diamond Member
I'm getting really fed up with the misconception that if a man isn't physically abusive, there's no abuse. (Not on this forum, thankfully [or unfortunately?] everyone here understands all forms of abuse)

In my current situation I'm dealing with an emotionally and verbally abusive ex, the father of my baby, who has repeatedly resorted to scary tactics in trying to "punish" me for keeping the baby or otherwise get his way. Every time I tell a family member or friend about the situation, with the exception of maybe one or two people, I get a response along the lines of, "Oh, he's never hit you or physically abused you? Then what are you worried about?"

As if it somehow doesn't count if a person has launched a menacing campaign to destroy my life in every way imaginable, from harassing family and friends, to nearly costing me my job by harassing and lying to my employer, to threatening to sic the IRS on my sister for completely made-up reasons, to standing outside my home and hurling verbal abuse at me while I take care of a sick newborn, and on and on.

Nope, that apparently doesn't count as abuse, and as several relatives have now advised me, I "should really let the guy see his baby." Yeah, I did that already, I gave him that chance, and he escalated to a terrifying degree of sociopathic behavior. And yet somehow I am portrayed as the bad guy here.
 
I'm getting really fed up with the misconception that if a man isn't physically abusive, there's no ab...

You have about 100 ways to sidestep
all of that-
Until you chose not to with the first first game he plays.
Then its like your options are a bag of marbles with a hole in it.

If I were you, Id call an attorney.
 
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@coco9 Thanks, I know. I've already gotten in touch with an attorney in the States so will meet with her as soon as I get back. For now I'm denying him access because he's genuinely terrifying me. But I'm more frustrated with the people in my life who seem to think his behavior is just a result of him being "immature" and "young." In their eyes, because he has never physically abused me, he's not an abuser.
 
I did end up calling the police last night but all they ended up doing was advising me to call them if he shows up again. No report, nothing.
 
Get in touch with me privately at some point.
Your family means well, they dont understand the risks.

move it over to PM casey-
If you dont I'll assume you dont want my advice, I dont want to be pushy, its your life , hon.
 
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Many people still think that unless there are bruises, black eyes or broken bones, that abuse hasn't taken place. Sometimes it takes a death for people to say, OMG, maybe they were abused! Some people don't get it. For many people, mental abuse is worse than physical abuse.

I wouldn't even bother trying to educate these people. You can't teach uneducated people. JMO!!!!
 
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