Coping with ptsd with perfectionism?

[IamFree]

Does anyone relate.

I have become aware of how I use perfectionism to cope with ptsd. For a long time I have been very concerned with hiding my ptsd with a lot of , always stay in control , don't think don't feel, be better , stronger , faster, any criticism and I have failed, if anyone notices my cover has been blown. People take the mickey out of people its just life but if anyone comments on any of my behaviours which I know to be related to my ptsd I hate them so much bit I know now its got a lot more to do with how I think and feel about myself than what they think or feel.
I am starting to be more open about my ptsd trying to let myself be more vunerable..even shock horror laugh at it a little bit.

 

[Friday]

Can relate to a helluva lot, here.

Only real difference is I've always used humor, and I take criticism as a challenge, instead of a failure.

 

[hodge]

I was a perfectionist for most of my life. Since PTSD hit, it's taken me 10 years to unlearn that and to accept myself as I am. Looking back, I wonder if my perfectionism increased my stress to the point of finally succumbing to PTSD. I don't know and haven't discussed this with T as I just thought of this after reading your post.

Like @Friday, I've always taken criticism constructively to become a better person.

When we can laugh about it, it's good!

 

[IamFree]

Yes a staggering amount of energy is wasted on perfectionism. Indeed I will be taking a leaf out of your books.

 

[VioletButterfly]

@Friday - I second that! Thanks for sharing sage wisdom. That one is going in my 12-Step slogan notebook. :) VB

 

[aut555]

Think when people make comments, l think is this justifiable or is this their own insecurity or hatred coming out because l triggered them somehow? Sometimes we just dislike someone for no good reason at all but it's not their fault. Now l thank them for their input and step back and not respond emotionally. During heavy PTSD stage, l would be upset, anxious, and dumbfounded.

 

[EveHarrington]

IME people don't like you unless you're perfect. If you make a mistake, even a small one, they kick you to the curb. Perfectionism is a means to an end, a way to get needs met.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I was also a perfectionist, until i entered therapy and my trauma kicked my ass and knocked my perfectionist down all knotches. Physical pain and not being able to do a lot i had previously had a big hand in that too.

For a long while i had up this "perfect" mask on. But eventually that was cracked as well and the world has just me. Very very broken me. Im alone so maybe that speaks for itself but holding up a mask and/or trying to be perfect (which is a bar not one person can reach) is very exhausting and takes so much engery. Id rather spend that engery in bettering myself.

 

[Pixielicious]

Does anyone relate.

I have become aware of how I use perfectionism to cope with ptsd. For a long time...

Yes.
But not so much with people, because I avoid them.
I have become OCD about certain things.
Whatever I do nowadays, it's got to be perfectly perfect.
I never used to be like this and am baffled as to why I now am like this.
Maybe it's because I can't control my PTSD, so I'm trying to compensate this by over controlling the things I can control? :inlove:

 

[LLMertens]

I had no idea perfectionism was a symptom of PTSD. I'm Crazy with the perfectionism. I can paint you a copy of a photograph and you will think you are looking at the photograph. No one can clean as well as me. No one can fix things right. I use intense intense amounts of energy producing perfect work, get myself promoted, which completely Freaks me out because Oh My God now I have to do More perfect work? Queue the sirens folks. I landed in the hospital because I was given an out of cycle promotion for my perfectionism and I haven't been able to go back to work since.

 

[IamFree]

I had no idea perfectionism was a symptom of PTSD. I'm Crazy with the perfectionism. I can paint yo...

I beleive what happens is because PTSD makes us feel so out of control being in control becomes such a big concern it can seem very all or nothing...It can and does get better...I had a perfectionist meltdown in work to some years back it was a good wake up call it really exhausts are energy...things do not change overnight..I had an attack last night after socialising with some colleagues. I felt so scared that i was blushing..I always think I am blushing and I am not lol. and I spent time kind of thinking of everything I was saying wondering what i was sounding like. Its like being a performer all the time..Whats helping is trying to learn how to a bit more authentic and spontaneous..letting myself have a silly moment now and then...letting someone laugh at me and laugh at myself a little..the most important one is learning how to let myself be a bit vulnerable sometimes.

 

[Jung in the JUNGle]

Indeed perfectionism is a compensatory function.
It also puts a lot of unhelpful pressure on PTSD sufferers who are already struggling, then it makes them want to be better than everyone else. that is a recipe for self torment where self compassion is a better ally.

I have done lots of extreme things to prove myself to others when i should have just been introspecting and realising that nobody is perfect, we are all on a journey towards being the best we can be and our shadow (Jungian term for Freuds definition of personal unconscious [= memory waste basket]) is actually our ally in our march towards fulfilling our personal potential.

learning to live in an imperfect world with an imperfect mind will reduce stressors considerably. Being vulnerable is helpful for honest self analysis but do that on your own, too many people have a trip to push and a vulnerable person is and soft target for dogma inflctors