Surrounded By Trauma Reminders

[honeypie058]

Thanks for speaking up, glad I'm not the only one who is disgusted. The whole thing makes me sick to my stomach. It's worse when I hear all the justification for this despicable nonsense.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Yes, this is another thread that's an offshoot of the current American political climate.

I rea...

Yeah, listening to insensitive people will trigger us for sure. I remember that when I went to school such problems did not exist. But today's culture: oh boy.

 

[Muttly]

It's so hard isn't it. And I don't know how to escape the talk. I don't even own a TV. I think to completely avoid all the trump talk, I'd have to not look at Facebook, not turn on the radio, not go to work, etc. I also made a post about this whole issue. I wish I could kidnap all of us who are struggling with this.

 

[EveHarrington]

It's so hard isn't it. And I don't know how to escape the talk. I don't even own a TV. I think to comple...

Yes, I want to run away! I'm ok with smaller exposure. Which I think is good. I just can't handle that phrase or dismissive people.

 

[aut555]

If Hilary Clinton was walking around talking about grabbing certain things, the country would shut down. Our culture is so desensitized to the media rape of woman. This current political climate is not ok.

 

[Snowflake]

Wow -finally someone posted on this topic -I am upset, disgusted and sickened by this whole political mess and the candidates remarks. I almost feel like I'm stupid to feel so upset. How can anyone let this person become president. His view on women, the things he has done and said is a disgrace to use all. It's like giving permission for others to do and say the same-(if he wins)

I am bothered and have kept my mouth shut all week but it's hard to deal with when it's all over the news. I loved the First Lady speech...AMAZING!!

 

[Gs172003]

Wow -finally someone posted on this topic -I am upset, disgusted and sickened by this whole political...

I have never. Ever. Understood how he got as far as he has. He's a baboon.

 

[Ponderosa]

What bothers me is how trump categorically denies it happening even though confronted with proof. He inflicted lasting trauma on so many people, and thinks he gets to just walk easily away from it simply by denying (and apparently believing his own denials!) he did anything wrong. I find the longer this goes on the more stressed I become. It cannot end soon enough.

 

[Hooper]

What bothers me is how trump categorically denies it happening even though confronted with proof.

What gets me more is Trump admits this is his modus operandi, dismisses words out of his own mouth as locker room banter and then categorically denies the allegations. He says his victims were lying but never acknowledges his own lies and everyone lets him get away with it. Listening to the First Lady speak with how it obviously hits so close to home with her makes me wonder if something has happened to her. I have 2 brothers and one recently told me his wife was raped and the other said something that made me believe the same had happened to his wife but he stopped short. I never disclosed what happened to my wife but it is indicative of how common the problem is. I'm so ready for this election to be over but I don't think Trump is going to walk into the sunset. I hope I'm wrong.

 

[Sideways]

It frightens me that there seems to be something slightly acceptable about what he's shrugged off as 'locker room banter'. Like it's okay to talk about women, and sexually assaulting women, in certain places, like mens' locker rooms.

If he was in a locker room, and had said the same thing about grabbing a disabled/Asian/Jewish person by the ..., there would be nothing acceptable about that. Locker room or not, exclusively male audience or not.

When things like this start getting airplay in the media, attitudes like this, it frightens me that it becomes something that "women" have to stand up to. I wouldn't have to be Asian to be publicly outraged if he'd made the same comment about 'grabbing Asians....'.

I think that's one of the reasons this disturbs me so much. It smacks of exactly the same kind of victim blaming and shaming that we experience after an assault. It shouldn't be just assault victims finding this outrageous, and yet, here we are.

The sum effect, for me, is that by being so dismissive, Trump has not only triggered us by the impact of the initial comment, but the shame and isolation we feel as victims is being played out by the reaction in the media, like this is an issue for woman, and specifically sexual assault victims. Misogyny is, to me, as unacceptable as racism, homophobia, discrimination against the disabled, etc etc. So why have we been cornered as victims of sexual assault? We are we being asked to shake this off as locker room banter, when if the comment had been made againsr any other minority, it would be globally unacceptable?

The initial statement was a trigger for me. But the way it's playing out, I feel shamed all over again for finding it offensive, like I'm just some precious rape victim that can't take a joke..?

 

[joeylittle]

The initial statement was a trigger for me. But the way it's playing out, I feel shamed all over again for finding it offensive, like I'm just some precious rape victim that can't take a joke..?

Honestly, I think it's trending in the other direction. The majority of public responses are challenging to the 'locker room' excuse. Even the conservative media isn't really having it.

My sincere hope is that this will ultimately be a big step forward in terms of dismantling rape culture, at least in the US.

For me, personally, it's been sort of shaming in the other direction. I was surprised that my gut response was to think his answer (locker room talk) was acceptable, and normal. Like, of course he said what he said, that's a thing that a lot of jerks do. I'm disappointed in myself that it took me awhile to realize how my response was part of my overall minimization thing, my way of coping with sexual assault.

the Shame and isolation we feel as victims is being played out by the reaction in the media, like this is an issue for woman, and specifically sexual assault victims.

There are plenty of voices saying that this is an issue for all people to be engaged in, and I think that with so many voices saying 'no, it's not OK to talk/think/act like that', women are feeling more emboldened to share their stories.

None of this takes away, though, the very personal response that many individuals have had. I'm combatting my own fear by searching for things in the media that attack what was said, and dismantle what was said, and interviews that challenge people who try and defend it. That stuff is helping me.