Childhood Parents, What Would You Have Done?

[lostforgottensoul]

Thanks @aut555!

 

[shimmerz]

Or if im just trying to lay blame on others.

Ummm, I don't think so. When one is being victimized, community is a key element in survival. Especially one so young. Ever hear the saying 'it takes a village to raise a child'? This model holds parents accountable and makes up for deficits in parenting. We are so isolated as families in this society. People turn their heads because there is this 'sacredness' in honouring that a parent can do whatever they want to with their children.

To be perfectly honest, blame should have been laid upon your parents by someone who held an equal power dynamic (and adult). Your parents should actually have been treated in the way that you were. Not you.

If i spoke of it less through the years because of this one event.

I would think this would be a natural consequence to this type of behaviour (the mother's) towards you. It just feeds the 'see no evil' mentality. And it still happens to this day. It is tragic.

 

[scout86]

Just a thought. Sometimes 'fear' comes across as 'anger'. That mother may have been acting out of fear. She MAY even have had a history of her own that led her to act that way,

Not sure what I would have done. Talked to you. Listened to you. Maybe tried to talk to someone at your school. Definitely wouldn't have let my kid go anywhere with you alone, but probably would have encouraged you to come to our house so I knew you had at least one safe place to be.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

blame should have been laid upon your parents by someone who held an equal power dynamic (and adult). Your parents should actually have been treated in the way that you were. Not you.

Yeah, I dont know why no one dug at them. It was so obvious that their world faces were so superficial (not real). The ones on equal plane as them, why they didnt hold them accountable or dig at them.

MANY missed so many red flags. I think im trying to figure it out. Untie the knots around if i was bad or if i did the right thing by not coming right out with it. Or why i didnt come right out with it. Why people missed the super obvious red flags, my brother, my dad, and those that did give me a safe place for a while. To find out later that they knew something real bad was going on but not one dug deeper than my intial no. Its hard.

I dont even know what brought this stuff up in my head.

. Sometimes 'fear' comes across as 'anger'. That mother may have been acting out of fear. She MAY even have had a history of her own that led her to act that way,

Yeah, I can see that. Wanting to protect her own child and because of her own history, I can see how fear can come out as anger. Manifest as anger.

Not sure what I would have done. Talked to you. Listened to you. Maybe tried to talk to someone at your school. Definitely wouldn't have let my kid go anywhere with you alone, but probably would have encouraged you to come to our house so I knew you had at least one safe place to be.

Yeah, its hard to know what to do

 

[Gs172003]

It was WAY more then a normal 10 year old talking and "playing doctor". She was another girl...

I still kick myself for being so naive when I worked in daycare and believed the two year old humping the life sized doll must have seen it on TV ( per the other teachers). The same child screamed " bitch " at her mom all the way out of the daycare. She wasn't brought back so I never got to do anything. Ugh.

 

[shimmerz]

Why people missed the super obvious red flags, my brother, my dad, and those that did give me a safe place for a while.

I don't know that this isn't actually a societal issue as well, not just familial. Myself, my first 2 years (the crazy abusive stuff) was documented by Children's Aid here in Canada. They said that parents were abusive, were unstable, that I was suffering greatly for it. Did anyone do anything about it? Nope. A psychiatrist (!) saw fit to send me back again though - even with all of this stuff having been documented.

I don't get it. I can't understand it. I don't care to believe it. But it is the truth of the matter.

I had step children who were being abused. I am certain the daughter was being sexually abused. I went to the Children's Aid. They brushed me off. 3 times. The system is broken. Has been for a very long time. I despise entities who profess to stand for justice but turn their heads. Despise.them.

 

[shimmerz]

She wasn't brought back so I never got to do anything. Ugh.

OMG this is so incredibly sad.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

societal issue as well,

I think so. My therapist says (about my family not believing me) that my past is "unbelieveable" and then about my dad, that its easier for them to turn their head and convince themselves its not happening then to face the ugly hurtful truth. I think this is society's issue.

Its sad as i thought there was more awareness now then in the 90s but i honestly dont think it is. Its easier to turn your head then to act and face the truth because that would hurt.

One would be VERY suprised of how many underground silenced cults that are going on. Silenced but known human (child) trafficking going on. And child porn sold. I have one word that we know about but no one does anything about, darknet.

 

[Gs172003]

OMG this is so incredibly sad.

Yes it was. BUT there were many kids after her that were taken out of bad situations that we were wiser about. I was new with that two year old but once I knew better it was on.

 

[Gs172003]

Honestly I think nobody believes it happens close to them. They think it's in the slums. Across town, only "somewhere else" not right in front of their faces.

 

[sedna]

I found a girl on the top bunk of my sons bed with her hands down his pants and talking dirty to him.
they were about 6.
I said something to the mom, my friend , who basically shamed me for being uptight.

I had a really hard time understanding what's okay and what isn't, i still do. Personally and as a parent.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Thats horrible @coco9! I think, even if no parental involvement is happening, parents think "not my kid". Yes, your kid! Thats my answer every time for that one!

I dont have/cant have children so its hard for me to put this in persoective. In that circumstance @coco9, I think I would have talked to the girl that night, softely, gently, and calmly, ask her where she learned that from...before talking to the parents. Like @shimmerz said, could have parental involvement.

But then i think, well its not my kid so is it my place.

Then i think it becomes my place when it involves my child.

Its all so confusing. Im still not sure what im trying to figure out as it happened and done and over...why cant i just out it to rest?

Younger memories and things are coming up and just really plaguing me since my mom died. Its like these younger things are haunting me. Wont go away and leave me alone. Not sure what im seeking. Maybe "why"? I dont know.