Can't Fight The Suicidal Thoughts

[Pixielicious]

Yeah I think there probably is an element of that tbh. I feel that I'm only now able to start saying w...

When we are hurting, as in the case of your friend, we always tend to push people away.
Being consistent, even through texting, is very valuable to her. Even if she doesn't respond or if she ignores you.
It's never personal, it's just the way we are as humans, and death, is always a devastating thing to go through.
One day, when her pain is not as intense as it is right now, she will look at her msgs etc and analyse who has really been there for her,that's when she'll open up and know you are a real friend who cares and can trust. Really cares.

I'm awful at opening up, verbally, about my own personal feelings, though to chat with me you wouldn't necessarily think so because I know how to 'small talk' and talk with others about them, rather than me.
I also find it extremely embarrassing to talk about my personal feelings verbally. But I have zero problems in giving my opinions.
Maybe I'm scared of showing just how vulnerable I truly am. I really don't know lol it's just the way I am and have always been. But I have no problems writing out my feelings... :inlove:

 

[Alibongo]

When we are hurting, as in the case of your friend, we always tend to push people away.
Being con...

U sound a bit like me!! Yeah I will make sure she knows I'm there for her. I never want anyone to feel the way I did when my friends rejected me. One piece of advice for u when u eventually get ur therapy appointments try and open up once you trust them. I wish I'd done it sooner.

 

[Pixielicious]

U sound a bit like me!! Yeah I will make sure she knows I'm there for her. I never want anyone to feel...

When the time comes for me to see a T, I will most likely give her /him a very hard time.
I will first expect them to open up to me.
I've never ever had a T, or anyone that I've ever opened up to, so I don't really know what to expect, but unless I can trust said future T, and the keyword for me is Trust, she/he is gonna need a hammer and a chisel to crack me open :D

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Alibongo Hoping that today was a better day!!!!!

 

[Alibongo]

@Alibongo Hoping that today was a better day!!!!!

It was ok thank u. Thoughts are still there but not as overwhelming. Hope u had a good day x

 

[RavenGirl]

So so glad you're still here with us! Our puzzle isn't complete yet! :happy:

I also get SAD: Seasonal Effective Disorder. I use a light that gives off the same type of light as sunlight, but doesn't burn or tan you. It helps your body make vitamin D. I also take 6000 IU's of vitamin D3 when it's fall until it's spring. (Atleast 6mo out of the year! ) It does seem to help so I don't depressed. Yes, exercising and the endorphins you get help you feel good too.

Hang in there because you are worth it!
You are awesome, you are worthy of love, you are loveable, you are a beautiful human being, you are a Warrior, you are enough just as you are. ♡♡ :tup:;):hug::hug:

 

[Alibongo]

So so glad you're still here with us! Our puzzle isn't complete yet! :happy:

I also get SAD: Seasona...

Thank u raven girl. Yeah I might give the vitamin d and the lamp a try actually (although gutted it doesn't give u a tan lol) I've sent an email to the samari tans so hopefully that will keep me going for the next few days. Funeral on Tuesday is going to be a challenge I think. I like ur puzzle theory actually :)

 

[BlueOrange]

When the time comes for me to see a T, I will most likely give her /him a very hard time.
I will f...

It's important to understand that therapy is not friendship, and it's not a two-way street.

We (or our insurance) pays them, and they help us. We don't help them.

We open up to them, they don't open up to us.

It's actually better for us that way, because we demand a lot of skill from them. If they were vulnerable in the relationship, it would distract them from our problems.

 

[Pixielicious]

@BlueOrange

I can see now, that having a T is going to be a huge problem for me......unless s/he is a statue :laugh:

But in my inexperienced mind about therapists, I naturally assumed that there must be some kind of trust involved...I Don't understand how anybody can just 'open up' without it.

 

[BlueOrange]

@BlueOrange

I can see now, that having a T is going to be a huge problem for m...

There does have to be some trust, but we make the trust in a different way.

They'll ask questions that we don't like. So we experiment with answering them, and we see if answering their questions hurts.

They'll tell us that we should do things that sound dangerous or stupid. We try some of the less-dangerous, less-stupid stuff, and evaluate whether to go further with them or not.

 

[Pixielicious]

There does have to be some trust, but we make the trust in a different way.

They'll ask questions t...

I'm also waiting to receive EMDR too.... But I've read some horror stories on the net about EMDR making the flashbacks worse.....tbh,I feel very nervous about both the T and the EMDR treatment...
I'm not so sure I like the idea of a stranger trying to probe inside my head...That said, being on this site has lessened my ignorance about it and I know I need the help... I Just hope I can actually go through with it, when the time comes. And don't give my future T a hard time... Gulp. Lol

 

[BlueOrange]

A good EMDR practitioner will spend as much time on stabilizing you as is needed. I found EMDR very difficult, but had built up a lot of trust towards my therapist before we started, and he was able to stabilize me again afterwards. You might find the EMDR 'pre flight checklist' that I wrote useful: Emdr Experience - Did Sufferer