Does Anyone Have Really Specific Triggers?

[Hcs]

I found this site yesterday, and it's already been so encouraging to see that I'm not alone, and there is so much support and understanding coming from the members. It's wonderful <3

I feel embarrassed to write all of this, but I have an irrational fear of not having money. In my mind, money equals love and security (I know this isn't logically true), so I actually have an irrational fear of not having love or security (but in my anxiety, it's money). When I was growing up, there was no money, very little security/lots of chaos, and rejection/feeling bad/unworthy. I do not have lots of money, but I can pay my bills, which makes me really fortunate. But there is this deep, intense, panicky fear...the kind that clenches so tight in my chest that I feel like I can't breathe and can make me absolutely shut down - no talking or moving, shallow breathing, staring off into space with my mind going 100 mph just panicking about money.

I will find myself becoming so jealous of friends with money that it will make me anxious to the point of tears. I have this bizarre idea that money relieves suffering. I know...this is embarrassing. I'm not into buying or having a lot of "stuff"....it's the idea that having a cushion of money will make my anxiety go away forever and make me feel safe. (Totally wrong, I know).

Do any of you have really specific triggers, and what do you do to make them stop or make them calm down? I just want it to go away.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

the answer is yes, and you will probably find new ones as time goes on, just as I have.

 

[Chimera]

I found this site yesterday, and it's already been so encouraging to see that I'm not alone, and there is s...

Not having money is a huge, monumental trigger for me. Not having money or the security monies provide, brought strangers into our home, took a mother out of the home, working, trying to secure security.
Predators look for weak links and vulnerability. These aspects are so often present in poverty.

I panic every month from about the 15th until I can pay my rent on the 2nd or so...the panic is ever present for me, living in a cycle of poverty.
Crushing,

 

[pixel]

Seeing a bloke on a ladder.
Terrifying. :nailbiting:

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

Parents abusing their children: physical, emotional, sexual. Makes me shake hard, and my heart rate sky rocket.

Poverty is also a trigger, as money implies an ability to keep myse!f safe in many ways.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

I have a variety of triggers, the use of the words shelter repeatedly, or the when used with the word shower
any references to rape or gang rape or any type of abuse in BIG LETTERS
seeing someone horizontally with someone else on top of them as if they are being held down (I can't watch tackles in football games).
any talk about holding someone
being hugged
unsure situations, extreme heights, male doctors, restricting my movement
being criticized
beehives references or images of
talk about camps
seeing lettuce being prepared
talk about elvis presley
being screamed at
being homeless or in peril of
talk about orthodontic braces
talk about near drownings or jumping off a boat
talk about canoes or illicit substance use
someone touching my hair or head
being touched on my back or but
being bent over
any form of uncertainty

there are probably many more

 

[Hcs]

Thank you for sharing! It's good to know I'm not alone!

It's been rough lately. I'm going to try a bodyworker (somatic kind of person) to see if they can help.

 

[Freedomfighter]

I found this site yesterday, and it's already been so encouraging to see that I'm not alone, and there is s...

Money irritates me, is not my friend. Everything that is connected to money I hate. From money springs evil in my mind and many people abuse others for it. My father has attempted to use money as leverage to make me "forget" the childhood abuse. Money has also been used by my ex as a power tool all the time. There are many who want to be friends only for the sake of money. Money makes me sick.