Derealisation - How Do You Deal With It?

[igasho]

Hi, dear people,

One aspect of my life really bothers me: derealisation - this is a part of my dissociative disorder and means that you feel detached from places, people, etc. - it is as if everything in your life was external/alien (don't know which is the better word) - just as if one could leave place and people within a minute for another place and other people and there would be no difference, even if one has lived at one place for years.

Does anyone of you know this feeling and know how to get over this?

I'd be thankful for answers...

Friendly greetings
Igasho

 

[becvan]

Hmm well that is not my experience with derealization episodes. For me, it is literally nothing is real. I can touch the wall but I can not feel it because it isn't real. It doesn't even look right. It will look wispy or see through or something. When I have one of these episodes, everything becomes unreal to me. People places things, the whole world just does not exist. It also screws up how I walk, my balance my voice..everything, as I am not real either. It's actually extremely scary and my most hated symptom.

I haven't found anything that works for me as of yet. I try to calm myself back down as increasing anxiety only makes it worse but generally I have to just wait it out and mine can last for no less then 20 minutes up to hours on end.

I do know that some grounding techniques are supposed to work. (you know the count 5 things you see, feel, hear, taste and smell, countdown? type of grounding techniques?) Basically you will have to try all grounding techniques, repeatedly until you find which ones work.

Good luck.

bec

 

[igasho]

Hi, dear bec,

Thanks for your answer. I can understand that it frightens you when you experience this. As about the grounding experiences, we have some good cds on this subject here in germany and I used to work with them regularly for a while...isn't it strange that our mind can do such strange things? It sounds silly, but to me it is still amazing how mind functions.

Friendly greetings,
Igasho

 

[Manic11]

Igasho,

I do understand what you're talking about. If we're thinking of the same thing then I go through it all the time.
Whenever something triggers me, which is often, I tend to (mentally) leave the place I am right now and go back to whatever the trigger brings me to. For example, I experienced childhood trauma so if something triggers me, sometimes I go back to when I was 8 years old. I think I am in my old house, I believe I am young again, I am right back in the situation. I even see my father sometimes (I have not seen him since I was 9 years old). But I think seeing him might be more of a hallucination...? Maybe?

Anyway, I hope I havent completely misunderstood your thread. I apologize if I have. If I have understood it properly, I will reply again with techniques for how to help this.

Take care,
Manic

 

[igasho]

Hi, Manic,

Thanks for your reply. From what you wrote I would call it dissociation - this getting back to the place and time, when the trigger initially occured.

With me it is a continuous feeling of being alienated...I live in my town over 26 years now...and I could leave it in a minute and would think that I only had dreamt to live here...quite strange so, but one gets used to it... *sigh*

Perhaps you would like to read something about dissociation, here on the board someone explained it:

ptsdforum.org/forum12.html

There is a posting "dissociation explained".

best wishes
Igasho

 

[heather q]

with derealization episodes. For me, it is literally nothing is real. I can touch the wall but I can not feel it because it isn't real. It doesn't even look right. It will look wispy or see through or something. When I have one of these episodes, everything becomes unreal to me. People places things, the whole world just does not exist. It also screws up how I walk, my balance my voice..everything, as I am not real either. It's actually extremely scary and my most hated symptom./quote]

I had this once, It Was Scary, I was in my T's office, I stood up, the wall was 'see thru' and moving and other things were going on, I was so scared that I couldn't touch the wall even though I wanted to, I think perhaps that I wasn't sure that it was there, even though I knew it was before, I didn't trust well enough to make sure, in case it wasn't there. A very strange sensation.

Thanks for writing about it Becvan, it helps to stabilize me, I hadn't heard of this before, I just felt weird, alien and wrong, now I can look at it with more compassion instead of fear.

Heather

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

I'm still learning about dissassociation etc. -- I never even realized I did it until my T pointed it out to me. Apparently, I do it often enough that it deeply concerns her, but it's always been that way so it's hard for me to tell sometimes. Sometimes though, it's like I'm not in place, like everything is happening around me, like watching a movie or something, but I'm not there, my mind feels that I am invisible and noone sees me. Othertimes, I just completely blank out - this is where I don't remember getting from point A to point B etc. But the times where I know where I am - but I don't feel like I'm there are the most unnerving for sure. Have you ever seen in a movie where the person is surveying a room full of people and it's like they are twirling around and everything is happening around them and they are just spinning watching? It's similiar to that I suppose (darn it's hard to explain isn't it?). I'm not even sure if this is what you are talking about, nor do I have any real suggestions unfortunately. My T suggested that I carry around a notebook with me and the moment I felt myself "leaving" to start writing to reground myself. Well, it hasn't worked because I can't tell I'm leaving - hard to catch it - when it's already happened.

 

[strugglingdad]

I often get that "movie scene" feeling. Like I can see everything and everyone around me but I'm not there. My body is but I'm not. ?? As far as blank spaces, I struggle terrible with my memory. Seems to be getting worse. Have to really concentrate to remember something from five minutes ago or yesterday or last week. Draw blanks on names, times, days of the week. Everything. Periferal vision is cloudy. Not sure if any one else has these spells? Kinda irritating.

 

[igasho]

Hi, all...

I read of the rubber band method to stop dissociation. You put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it, when you feel you're about to dissociate. It should not hurt of course, just get you back in the here and now.

From what I read, it is a very good idea to train yourself to stay in the "here and now" as the mind is using dissociation more often when it feels this to be an appropriate tool.

Strange things our mind does without asking us.

Igasho

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

Thanks Igasho -

I'll try to rubber band method - yeah the notebook just wasn't fast enough.

 

[Cate]

Disassociation, Depersonalization, Derealization

I have this. Not quite as bad as I had about two years ago. I likened it to watching life as a movie that I wasn't in. I also described it to people as being inside a bubble and watching the world outside of the bubble.

It does get better over time. I've found I have to continue going to 'talk therapy' and discussing it with people who have the same thing.

It does seem to be going away but it does come back for a few days here and there.

 

[liv now]

I struggle with this at times too. especially if i am triggered or working through stuff in therapy. Just yesterday I had this happen. I left my therapy session and felt like I wasn't part of the world. like I was part of a dream and couldn't get out. I feel like I am invisible to others at times and feel disconnected. what helped me get out of this yesterday was having someone say hello to me and give me eye contact. they were present to me and I could feel it and it made me feel part of the world again. I'm not sure if this is how you feel but this is how I experience it, and having people acknowledge me or pay me attention helps heaps. also I have found warmth i.e. a hot bath or electric blanket or the sun helps me feel connected. just as the cold does too. sometimes I feel like a stranger in familiar surrounds but for me this is because I am looking at things without feeling anything , and when I do that surrounds look different. I think they look different because I am seeing them just visually without any emotion or memory attached. just seeing them as objects.