- Post starter
- #25
D
Deleted member 37085
You are very in-tuned to the parallels between your relationship with your vet - and the one you had (have?) with your dad - how they are so closely entwined and are interwoven (don't know if true experts say we date marry our dads and the men marry date their mom's). Stereotypical sounding I know. For it would "seem" that I would date and marry what is familial to me whether it be healthy or not (unless intervention and therapy if case be the latter (unhealthy) @PartTimeWarriorLover. And my dad did far worse things that just beat me, oh yes. Over decades of time he broke me (core). He took everything away from me spirtually, emotionally, and in every way imaginable that matters in order for me to be human and have a soul, and a spirit. Dad destroyed me and took my self, core, he took it all for decades. (learned Helplessness) akin to Stockholm Syndrome only in the sense that I was his prisoner, designated driver, and it seemed I was his worst nightmare when he'd take all of his 20 yr. nightmarish history out on my entire being.
I don't know what he meant when he said at the kitchen sink back in '96 (right after he came to visit and discovered that I had just been raped by gastro dr.). I don't believe my dad processed killing Japs as murder as he as well as I know he was defending our country from invasion at Pearl, he also served in Korean War. However, that said, the taking of another person's life which I prayerfully will never have to do in my life as Dad did to protect and serve our country has caused and continues to cause and inflict so much psychological conflict and spiritual damage within and to the human psyche of our beloved vets, police officers, even animal kill shelter (another level of taking of life - euthanasia animals and humans alike). I would like to believe (crying hard now) that my dad was referring to the extreme violence and torture he unleashed upon me, (indirectly to my sister through more his inaction/not taking responsibility after taking us away from our mom, destruction of my very self, our property, our animals, etc.and the heartless and viciously cruel acts he perpetrated upon me, and my sister directly/undirectly.
Honestly, though, I have no idea though if he was referring to his extreme abuse (alcholism) he exacted upon my body and his abominable atrocious behaviors. He took my mom away (she aided and abetted through her behaviors - for she broke his spirit or what was left of it (from war) and stomped on his heart. I am grateful your dad never saw combat @PartTimeWarrior and that your dad in this instance only - open hand punishments - you have been effected by this as you have shared and written about it here and I am so grateful for your posting here. I am so grateful for I feel that we have a bit in common through your sharing about your vet, and your dad @PartTimeWarrior. And the violence began in the 50's (when it was "acceptable" to beat children and on into the 70's and further into my adulthood, as well (verbal rants and physical threatenings).
And kill or be killed. Dad was so close to the Japs planes he said he could see the slant in their eyes. He was so young lied he about his being under age so he could fight for our country (he said he thought the Japs were the dutchman who wore wooden shoes, that is how young and naive and immature my dad was when he enlisted @PartTimeWarrior. Again, I want to thank you for posting here in this incredible myptsd.com forum, for you are helping me to come to terms with so much as I hope you are being helped regarding your vet, and perhaps even with your dad as well. I wish you all the best @PartTimeWarrior. JadesJewel
