Tired Of People Just Telling Me How To Get Over It

[JillyB]

If one more person tells me to "just face my fears" I think I will explode. Just move past it, just don't think about it, just think about something else. I am so angry right now! I am so tired of wishing I could do all of the above. Mostly I am tired of people not understanding or thinking it's all in my head or that it's an exageration. I am tired of wishing I could just go through my day and be relaxed and happy all day everyday.

 

[Jagged Angel]

Hi JillyB, I think most of us here have heard those 'face the fears' words, and become angry from the lack of understanding behind it. This forum is an excellent place to come and talk to people who 'get it'.

 

[TLight]

Sorry to hear you are experiencing this........I found it to be very painful and uncompassionate.

I made the decision after much secondary wounding to not tell people I have PTSD. The judgment and harsh words were just too much to bear.

I only tell a person after I know them well and after I explain the scientific evidence of the brain malfunction. Even then...........I don't think they can ever truly understand the hell this disorder is.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Jilly,

I hate to say this, but you really do need to *face your fears*. Facing your fears/trauma is the only way to get healthy. You can't do it any other way.

 

[dust]

Yes, I agree with She Cat,

we need to face our fears, but I guess... not in the way that other people might expect, it just ain't that simple. My experience has been that it is incredibly painful, exhausting and slow... but slowly and surely facing the fear(s) does work.

dust

 

[macpayne]

Facing fears is true...but "get over it"..how inconsiderate! I too have decided to keep my illness to myself. I can't expect others who haven't experienced trauma to understand. I have to believe in myself and hope that one day I will overcome the darkness and see the future a little brighter!

 

[ISupportHer]

The minimizing and trivialization of the disorder is demeaning and just wrong. It just shows the ignorance of the person saying something like that.

Unfortunately, it is not uncommon, in my observations. For example, when my wife was in one of her hospitalizations, one of the "Psych Aides" told her she needed to just snap out of it. Un-F'in believable!

As a spouse, I think I was blind to the extent of the issue initially. I do not, however, feel like I was insensitive. At least I hope I was not coming across that way but, of course, it's her perceptions that count.

 

[Luthien]

*snort* I think the next person that tries to give me a stupid platitude like the ones you've mentioned, or something like "you just can't let it ruin your life" I might actually scream at.

I got the "you can't let it ruin your life" one tonight. Right, because I am letting PTSD keep me there, it's a choice... GRR.

Sorry you're going through this as well. I really think that people just can't understand, unless they have something to compare with. If they've never experienced a trauma, or felt the effects of debilitating PTSD, there's no way they can understand, and they're bound to say things that seem insensitive.

It doesn't make it feel any better, though.

 

[Anton]

If one more person tells me to "just face my fears" I think I will explode.

Most people are morons. Don't let it drag you down. In time it may even become a painfully sort of funny.

 

[JillyB]

Thank you all. And while I know it's true, I do need to face my fears, I guess it's the way it's said to me. I always get past the anger, but for that little while it's so overwhelming. I just want to scream! Usually I cry.
The thing is, sometimes I'm asking not for advice but to simply let it out. I face my fears everyday. Some days better than others.
Often my biggest question is, how can you face an invisable fear? When suddenly my heart is trying to beat it's way out of my chest. Or the days when I just can't seem to leave my house. What am I afraid of? I don't even know anymore.
Thank you for this place where I can come to vent and nobody is waiting with a clever solution to a quandry they know nothing about.

 

[Grama-Herc]

When I first read this post I did not really have anything I could say without sounding rude. So, I said nothing.

I finally know why people say the stupid and insensitive stuff to us. They don't know what else to say. They do not understand and are at a loss for words to help us so---out comes the stupid stuff. :crazy:

 

[fin]

Stupid stuff is here
and it abounds and surrounds us sometimes, it can help us to laugh at ourselves sometimes as Anton has said most people are morons like Herc also mentions the stupid stuff , it can and does hurt sometimes and os this is where I say about exposure therapy. This is She Cats reasoning also here, facing it and also It can help to let it out occassionally, needing to let it out and get it out and work it through and it will be eased somehow also ...learning to manage will help you live with PTSD, it is possible and it can be done. PLease know you are not alone.

I sometimes find it is the stupid stuff that can help me smile... esp when it comes out of my mouth... so long as no one else gets hurtThis is exposure therapy to be sure I hope that you find this forum to be as sound as I have done, the uspport and encouragement when the going is tough can sometimes help so much when I feel like I am completely alone Iread and read again here here and be also welcome d it is an awesome place to be sure here, esp. and when we cant always be sure of much else idiary and iread as much as i can apply to my own situation and life Welcome again ;)

takecare and welcome JillyB~